REALLY stressed with feeding my son!!!

Gabe's nearly 9 months and feeding has become a total nightmare.

He won't eat homemade food, it's so upsetting when he refuses it again & again. Tonight I made the Annabel Karmel butternut squash risotto and he hated it. Its really upsetting TBH cos I make it for me as well and it's really nice!

He will hardly eat jars now either, he's got a chest infection but he eats cereal and yogurts fine so why not other foods???

He doesnt drink milk either now and just cries when he sees the bottle especially the bedtime one. He'll have a little bit (3-5oz) in the morning, maybe a couple oz in the afternoon but thats it. Before he was ill he still often the bedtime bottle but had 6-7oz in the other 2.

It's just really getting me down & stressing me out, he's also started being messy (never was before) and if he doesnt like the food he will take it out of his mouth and smear it everywhere. I hate waiting for him to open his mouth for the spoon, and shaking his head from side to side.

I'm thinking of substituting one of the meals for finger foods as he seems better with these and just eats what he wants and leaves the rest. Is this OK?
xxx

ETA: his weight gain is poor too, dropped 2 centiles and only gaining 1oz a week now.

[Modified by: **Tiger Lily** on 04 February 2009 17:11:14 ]

Posts

  • I know the feeling hun, i have started to give Erin a cheese sandwich at lunch time and toast sometimes in the morning instead of cereal because she will eat it at her own pace, but as you know she is being a nightmare too at the moment so i'm not the best person to advice you. Just want you to know i understand how you feel xx
  • I generally dont have problems with my LO and food, but can appreciate how upsetting it must be when you think they are not eating enough and not putting on enough weight.

    We do have phases where he refuses food and milk for the odd couple of days. I try him with loads of different stuff then until I find what he wants to eat. Like you say though it is usually finger foods , yoghurts, rusks, or cerial / porridge that he chooses to have. He is now partial to toast as well.

    I have a stash of different foods for LO as he goes from liking one type to liking another very quickly (ie. dried, jars, home made, finger foods.).

    If Gabe likes his finger food best then I would let him have them for a meal, (and naughty mommy in me would be giving plenty of snacks as well).

    He probably cant taste things properly at the mo either with his chest infection.

    Hope things get better soon.

    Beck
  • HI Hun, Ashton is going through the same phase at the moment too, this is the second time we have been through it now! He refuses to eat anything other than yoghurt or custard. The first time I got really upset & stressed about it but I kept offering him food and after about a week he just all of a sudden started to eat again! Gonna just relax this time and go with the flow. Sorry I am not much help but just wanted you to know you are not the only one going through it. Big hugs! xxxx
  • You have my sympathy- it's hard not to stress when they do this but generally speaking they won't starve !!! Keep offering the variety though he'll soon want it if you are eating it too.
    If he won't drink plain milk could you try a little flavoured milk in a beaker?
  • Aw hun, it's so stressful isn't it? And even worse when you've spent ages making something nice that they refuse to eat. Just wanted to say I understand how you feel. Maybe give him a finger food lunch, eg sarnie, cheese, cucumber etc and then something warm for his tea? This worked for Lily. And when she refused milk I made up formula and used it to make porridge and weetabix etc, just to get some down her. It could be his teeth that hurt when he has bottle so try a beaker. Take care. xxx
  • What a pickle hun! Just remember with food it's only first tastes. Perhaps his appetite has gone a bit if he has a chest infection? With regards to the spoon feeding, maybe try your idea of finger food. Riley loves his finger food and would happily sit and eat it all day, whereas he's much more fussy with purees. My mum had a nightmare with my brother, he would never eat anything she made, but eventually he started eating loads. was round my neighbours house today and she said her son wouldn't eat and she would be in tears after making lots of food, and he would reject the jars. She says that at around a year he just suddenly changed his mind and now loves her homemade stuff. Maybe you could put more formula in his porridge for the time being, and maybe give him yoghurts and cheese for the calcium and see if his appetite returns? Hope he changes his mind soon, they do all seem to go through a phase of hunger striking. xxx
  • Big hugs and lots of sympathy! I have had problems with cole that sound similar and even now we struggle with stage 2 food.

    I had a long chat with a mw at the baby show and she said to just give him food that he'll eat and keep trying new stuff. She said mealtimes should be social times and not full of stress as the lo will pick up on the stress from you and will just get worse upset if you try and push the issue.

    That was definately true for cole, and it is very hard not to get stressed about it but I had to persevere and now he eats better so I try not to worry. It may sound odd but one thign we have found he'll eat is soup - yeah its more like puree than soup really but we offer him soup before his lunch and tea and then at least if he refuses the rest of the tea he's had something thats good for him. Annabel karmals leek & potato puree makes for good soup and is dead easy to do. Also - for the jars and home made stuff..have you tried mixing it? We mix blended veg with half a jar.

    He's ill so I guess if you think about it, it stands to reason that babies will be just like us, if we are ill we want the nice tasting comfort food while we are feeling grotty - I find cole is like that - he's been rough lately and he's refusing breakfast & tea but he'll eat fruity mush, soup and yoghurt.

    As for the weight gain - is he crawling/walking/standing etc yet? You'll find that the weight gain will slow right down when he gets more physically active.

    Definately try flavoured milk too.. cole the little monster won't drink milk out of a beaker but he'll happily drink chocolate milkshake out of a beaker!

    If he eats finger foods better, then just make sure he has plenty of foods to munch on and try offering him spoons of mush but if he refuses try not to worry, at least he has something to eat.

    I know its easier said than done, but hopefully he'll get better as he feels better
    xx
  • It seems like as he's been unwell lately, he's going through a phase. They all do it at some stage, especially after a time of being unwell. All I can say is keep calm when feeding him (as they pick up on negative vibes) and if he doesn't want it, that's ok. If he gets on better with finger foods, let him have those. As long as he's drinking fluids and eating what he feels like, then he'll be ok.

    Remember, it's just a phase and will soon pass. It's important that he doesn't feel stressed when he sees food/bottle or he may come to resent meal times and it's even harder to deal with fussy toddlers! If you see him getting upset then, just take the food away...never force food into his mouth if he isn't interested.

    Hope this helps xox
  • I had a similar problem recently with Ryan who was 9 months at the time. He refused nearly everything including things he had always loved. He would only eat yogurts and some fruit purees and this went on for a month! It was stressful. He always drunk his milk so that was good. But I rang my hv in the end and she said the most important thing is not to look stressed as they pick up on it so quickyl and it makes them shut their mouths more and more! I put it down to teething on and off and just gave him littl extra bits of yogurt throughout the day. My hv said no more than 2 in a day but he would have 3 sometimes as its all he'd take! It has passed thank god and he eats perfectly well again now. Dont know what the reason was but unfortunately you just have to ride it out and it will pass in the end. Not much consolation for you know though I know.
  • Ah, thanks for the replies and support as ever!!! I only seem to post on here when things are crappy, lol.

    Gabe's fine with lumpy food funnily enough kia, he went through a stage of hating it but is usually ok with stage 2 jars.
    With the weight gain...no he isn't standing or crawling yet, he sits unaided really well now but never rolls either haha!! Don't think he likes it!

    I will try him with sandwiches again tomorrow, he does like those and will normally eat a quarter of a cheese spread sandwich & loves crusts of bread and butter too so may try that.

    I never do force feed him and always just take the food away if hes lost interest but its so frustrating and its tempting just to shout and cry arrrrgh lol. He'[s never been a big eater of solids, he goes through stages of hating them and then loving them, but he's always loved milk so its a toughie!

    The flavoured milk is a good idea...we have some nesquik powder somewhere!!! How much would I have to use??

    I'm going to take him to get weighed tomorrow i think....
  • Umm well when I make cole choccy milk, I use about 4 heaped teaspoons in a glass, mix it up, put a bit in a sippy cup for him and drink the rest myself image Not sure if that helps!

    Nesquick powder does give you instructions though about how much to use I think - can't see why that wouldn't be ok for him
  • Dont worry about the not drinking any milk, Evan stopped completly at 7 months and wont drink any of it - just give yogurts etc. I would give him the finger food maybe he will be better with baby led weaning, have you tried giving him the spoon and letting him have a go himself, you could try and put a bit in at the same time.

    big hugs
    xx
  • It;s horrible when you are trying so hard an they won't eat anything, especially when you have gone to the trouble of cooking it.If it makes you feel better, I can sympathise too as James has been doing this for the past few days. He will eat yogurts, fruit etc but is refusing any main course.I think it might be because his 1st tooth has finally started to come through but I wonder whether he is trying to be a bit more independent as well. I have found that giving him a breadstick helps, as with a bit of help he dips it in his food then will eat it. Not sure that it is the best way of getting him to eat though...

    As the others have said, it is probably a phase and hopefully he will start eating properly again soon.
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