what would you do?

faith is 3 years old and has lost both of her great grandmothers (my side of the family) in 2 months and she is really down about this also there has been a family argument going on between me and my oh and his mother she was asked to treat her grandchildren (all my oh kids and my 2 i have with him) the same and apparently me saying this is completly out of order how i dont know but any way she keeps taking my oh oldest daughter out and spending a fortune on her and not getting the others anything or even taking them out as she wont come near us anymore but my poor little girl is getting so down about this she is having nightmares about it is really unsettled at play school and is starting to resent her sister as evey time she comes to visit us she tells faith about all the new things there grandmother has got her causing yet more tears and she is also so unsure and upset as to what is going on about her grandmothers she has lost she just seems so down and depressed i dont know what to do for the best as im fed up of seeing her so down :?


  • Oh hun that must be such a nightmare situation foir you to be in. What does your oh say about the whole thing?

    [Modified by: Hilary&Amy&Zara on May 15, 2008 02:23 PM]

  • you poor thing! i feel so sorry for your little girl. i no it sounds bad but my grandmother favours my son over the other 2 great grand children and i hate it! it makes me feel so uncomfortable as its me that people think bad of and i feel sorry for the other 2 as one is only 16 months and the other is 3 its mainly because of their parents that they dont get treated the same. Ive tryed telling my grandmother that she shouldn't do it as im the one who will cop it! luckily the los are not old enough to no what goes on but one day they will i h8 the thought of them feeling how your little girl feels! x
  • Oh poor little love. i don't know what to suggest about your mil, but could you give your lo something that belonged to her great grandma's to keep for herself? Or possibly some kind of guardian angel pictures and tell her that her grandmas are in heaven/ up in the sky/whatever watching over her always to look out for her.
  • I think explaining about Faith's great granny's being in heaven watching over her is a lovely idea and maybe she might feel a bit better knowing "where they are". As far as your mil I think your oh is the only one that can do anything about that, what has he aid to your mil about it? surely if its upsetting the other children he can't be happy about it either?
  • yeah we have told faith the her great g's are now fairys and that they can still see her and they blow her a kiss from heaven everynight and as for the mil from hell my partners oldest son lives in black pool 4 hours away from us and is 14 so he isnt really affected but my oh eldest daughter who lives with her mum in the same town as us she is having contact with her arranged between mil and his ex (who is happy to send her daughter to anyone as long as its not her having to look after her) and mil has said she will no longer talk to us ????? ARRRRGGGGGHHHH :x

    [Modified by: ~faith&finley~ on May 15, 2008 05:05 PM]

  • i dont want to sound rude so i am really sorry if i do, it's so difficult when it's down to how something is read, but... doesn't your oh see how upset your poor little girl is?it surely must pick at his heart strings. this really needs to be sorted.

    the things her sister does with so called grandma, are they special because it's grandma, or would you be able to make up for it by doing these things with her yourself.
    i really like the idea of giving faith something that is just for her from her grandmas, as said sister cant compete with that. and it's like a special comfort hing as well
    is there any way you could put it do grandma that means youre not telling her off for treating them differently but explain how it's such a special thing to have a grandma and you'd really like it if faith could enjoy it as much as sister does. just an after thought, it wouldn't be that the grandma is just better at dealing with a certain age of children would it? i know one of mine was quite happy to kneel on the floor and play cards with us whereas the other had a 'children's room'
    really hope you're able to sort this out for your childrens and your own sake, thoughts are with you good luck
  • grandma is only 50 and works in childcare belive it or not lol!!!!!!!!she has made it clear that she doesnt want anything to do with me and my children (her loss) luckly my parents are great and treat them all even my oh kids as equals its a great idea about giving her something of her great grandmas i will look into that this week.oh has said his bit but she no longer wants to talk to her son either but she does this often to different members of the family she didnt talk to her mother or brother for 10 years!
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