We're Home!

Well what a week! as mrjbourne told you all max has had an op! i feel so crap for leaving him like it for a couple of days! i had no idea! he was still using his arm and crawling on it! just not as much! after everything it turned out he had a fracture and a dislocation!! we have absoltultey NO IDEA how he did it which makes me feel even more worse! He's got pot on his arm now to keep everything in place and will be going back on wednesday to have it checked! also the worst part about it all is because i cant explain how he did it, obv social services have to get involved, they have been great though and reassured me that this has happened to lots of people but its procedure with an unexplained injury! the type of injury he has the dr said is common with a twist to the arm! only thing i can think of is when he is walking with his hands up and has dropped to the floor! I'm racking my brains as to how he could of done it! its horrible feeling that ive let him down by not spotting it sooner or done anything sooner also that people may actually think i have harmed him! also jack often plays with him and tries to pick him up which he has been told off for so many times! i feel so crap right now! max is back to smiling and running eserk in his walker but is a bit humped that he cant crawl or stand up now! just thought i'd let you all know the full goings on of what has got to be the worst week of my life!

before his op



  • ((((((Hugs)))))))

    Try not to blame yourself too much hon, it's so easy for little ones to hurt themselves, and you can't be watching them every second of the day, especially when you have other children to take care of as well.

    The important thing is that you made sure he got seen to - hopefully there's no lasting damage and the social services continue to be understanding.

    I remember when my brother and I were little I threw his cup down to my dad through the banister and he decided to follow it and squeezed through, fell about 10feet onto his head! My parents were terrified to take him in in case they were labelled bad parents, but the medical staff and social couldn't have been nicer to them. I'm sure they can tell the difference between caring parents and the negligent/violent ones.

    Hugs again, Hannah xx
  • glad all is well. This story freaked me as the exact same thing happened to my friends little boy on Good friday 2008 and the social services were bloody AWFUL to him - I am sat here in tears remembering all she went through!


  • I'm terrified of what they are going to say or do! just been looking on the net for info on it and it all says its rare injury for a child his age and that most often caused by arm twisting! I would never hurt my child i'm in hysterics now! Only thing i can think of is when he walks holding my hand and has dropped and twisted that way but even that wouldnt be enough to fracture his arm surely! ive got all sorts running through my head now!!!! dont know what to do! they wont take my children of me will they?? OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!
  • oh hun :\( i have no words of advice, i've said everything to you already but i hope Max's arm is better really soon x
  • Oh no poor little love. Hope he's recovering ok.
    Hope you are ok and have n o hassles with social services

  • i had a same experience at xmas last year. Well it wasnt pleasent cos tyler came home and was moanin about his leg. He has ceriable palsey and is constantly fallin and has intense physio at school so i put it down to tht. So i phned school and they cudnt get hold of anyone so next day came i sent him in. Thn when i got bac frm takein the others i phned thm bac to ask me what had gone on to his leg tey new nothin but got the nurse to look at it. Ok thn i rung them bac and they said we needed to go in so off we went and they said hed had a fall the followin day i went basurk. Cos noone had tolsd me so we took him to hos and had an xray and it was a twist fracture thn the school said he ddnt hav a fall thn they said he did but changed the times bout three times so the finger was lookin at us. I was goin nuts i was 17 weeks preg wiv leesy i went home and tryed to ring tys disability s worker but the school had beaten me to it and they went round to question my other two and i they even accused them of doin it so i grabbed her round the throat my oh had to grab me off her id of killed her. We had to hav a meetin but i wernt allowed to go to it we had to sighn a thing to say we wudnt remove ty out the hos i mean duuur y am i goin to take my hurt boy out of hos. But anyway the meetin went ahead and the school get this had put the fall in the accident book wen they hadnt done it before and the police and social noted tht and they were under more query over it which i was so pleased about the day before xmas eve, we had a child protection conference which u may hav they ent nice u hav different ppl sittin round a table to basicly see if your kids need to go under a child protection plan but everyone said no and the doc who was there said the school was to blame cos from what the xrays told them and the fact ty hadnt had a fall at home tht day as he was at school and the break happend tht day thry cud tell by xrays or summink the school were sitting there aswell and were tryin to do anythin they cud to point the finger at us but we walked out of there with our head held high cos it was prooven it was the school everyone new it was them anyway frm the way they were acting but we came through it. U will get through it it is a ruff ide hun but i did it it was the most awfull thing i was so scared theyd take him away wen i hadnt done anythin tys was an unexplained injury before the conference and it felt like everyone on the ward was pointin fingers at me it was terrible i felt id done summink wen i new i hadnt i totally no how u feel hun i really do but just take each day as it comes cos u will hav nothing to worry about this happens all the time but they hav to be carefull cos of the baby p blame those sickos for the way deasent loveing moms and dads r treated. Its got to the point where u r to scared to go to docs or hos incase they point the finger at u and wen u do go u look more guilty cos u r so nervous tc hun xxx
  • I can't tell you my friends story but after MONTHS and MONTHS of investigating by social workers and monitoring by all sorts (the police on social services even wanted me to spy for them as I saw her so often image NO WAY) they fought for further tests as there was no way of knowing when he had broken his arma nd finally they got some private tests done that revealed he has a form of brittle bone disease so suddnely everthing was dropped but she lost basically 8 months of his first year of life to all that bollocks. I really hope things are better for you. Try not to worry and speak you mind - get all the support you can! image
  • hi thanks for your replies it makes me feel a bit better to hear other stories! tinkerbell what a horrible time you had and your friend cc must have gone through hell! they took blood tests at the hosp to check it was anything that could of caused it and they were fine so i presume that means the brittle bone thing would have been included in them! and ulike you tinkerbell max is only 11 months and he is only in the company of me, his dad and he two brothers, so i think they will definitly be pointing finger at us. i've been thinking about things and the only explanation i can think of is his older brother is always picking him up and i have told him endlessly not to! and there have been times he has picked him up funny ! also he has fallen down alot when standing on side of chairs etc, but what i read on the internet it says children under 3yrs with these injury's need to be looked at as physical abuse!!!!! because their bones are so so flexible so to say it takes alot of force to make a break etc! i just feel absolutley gutted and am terrified that we will have our children taken off us ! xx
  • They won't be taken away I am sure! My friends got loads of different consultants to look at the xrays and stuff and eventually got medical opininon to back them that it didn't HAVE to be an abuse injury (before they found the brittle bone issue) It is BRILLIANT sign that they have let him home with you - my friends had a 10 day stay in hospital with lo cos they wouldn't let him home just with them and her IL's had to fly from Canada to stay with them and effectively 'police' them 24/7 (although they didn't really cso they knew nothing was going on) But anyway it was all round horrible!

  • Hugs hun, I really hope some common sense still prevails somewhere and there is no further investigations outside maybe a 6 month quick check up just to close their file. So sorry you have to go through this, it's every mum's nightmare. Please keep us updated.

  • Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. Poor baby and poor you. Really hope it all gets sorted very soon for you and Max is soon feeling much better.

  • Social workers came out yesterday tea time, basically said that they will be doing a core assessment which involves 6 visits over 35days, i also have to go to a discharge meeting at the hospital on Wednesday which will have dr's and everyone there etc, in other words a grilling of them, but at the end of the day i can not say anymore than what i already have to them! the social worker said after the 35 days they report and decide from there if the case will be closed or if they need further involvement ! she looked round all house etc and was asking silly questions and the same thing all the time, how did he do it etc! but i just haven't got a clue, the other worker was lovely and said she could clearly see he was very active even with his pot on he is trying to crawl and pull himself up to walk along things! and she also said she could see jack my eldest was very playful with him! (and a big boy lol) just hope dr's and workers don't be too nasty on Wednesday! cos ill just break down, its killing me enough not knowing how he did it let alone the thought that these people actually think i may have harmed him! i will update you all on wednesday with what they say! xx
  • Hey hun.
    Have been reading your posts but havent had chance to reply.

    No doubt there were looking round the house for evidence of neglect like is it clean, child safe, how your children intereact, how they interact with you. Are they clean and clothed. How you react and your body language etc.

    Like you said, you've expained the situation theres nothing more to it. They were probably asking you the same questions to see if you let anything slip or the story had changed slightly - give away if your lo was abused. But as this isnt the case it wasnt.

    Glad to hear there was a nicer social worker there to. they will also get info from your hv who will hopefully give a good report.

    Just noticed the date, hope all went ok yesterday .....or is it next wed? Hugs xxx
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