Controlled crying? (also in BIN)

Hello ladies, hope you're all well.

Im really hoping you can help me with this one, has anyone done or is planning to do, controlled crying?

Finn is becoming a real nightmare to settle at night. He can take anywhere between 10 minutes and two hours to go to sleep, he doesnt cry, sometimes he falls asleep straight away in my arms after a bottle but other times he moans, whinges, arches his back and just fights sleep.

He'll be 7 months on the 19th June and is used to falling asleep in my arms (bad mummy!) and im finding it really difficult to break the habit. Once he's asleep, he sleeps for 12 hours so I do feel guilty complaining but its becoming a real issue, especially now im back at work. I dont want to battle with him every night to get him to sleep. Sometimes he wakes up a half hour or so after going down, and screams until I go in and pick him up. Once he's picked up he stops crying and goes straight back off. He doesnt nap in the day very well either, if we're in the car or pram then he falls asleep, otherwise its the same battle and he'll sleep for maybe 30-45 minutes twice a day. I've tried sitting in the room with him and ssshing, but it doesnt work. Nor does putting him in his cot and patting his back etc.

My HV has suggested controlled crying, but I dont know if im strong enough to do it. Help!! I was in tears myself the other night, its draining me x


  • have you looked at the baby whsperer techniques instead? maybe a little less heartbeaking than cc?
  • Is that the pick up put down technique Calleigh? I'm more than willing to try it, but if he starts screaming again as soon as i put him back down, do i turn round and pick him straight back up or do i leave the room, give it a minute then go back in?
  • hi ellie - how is gorgeous little man?

    Well we did cc just over a week ago - something i never thought i would do but i knew Toby didnt need anything except sleep. I have followed the baby whisperer but her approaches werent working. It broke my heart but i have to say it did work and worked really well. I know have am uch happier boy in the daytime because he has slept well and is refreshed.

    All i will say is if you decide to try it you have to stick with it as toing and froing isnt helpful and will confuse them. I had to go back into tobys room once which was night 3 and the most difficult but he settled within 6 night max crying time which was on off 10 minutes plus 2 minute shhhing and then 3 minutes before sleep. for the last 3 nights there has been no crying he goes into his cot awake he doesnt moan cry or anything he is just really chilled and gently falls asleep.

    Ihope you dont get bad responses as i did - you will do the best for your little man and make the right decision for you. I have a document you might find helpful if you just email with the button below i will forward it to you - hope you are well - loving the new pics x x
  • i have the bw book - more than happy to send it to you - it has been to a fair few be members!

    Just email address and i will post it monday x
  • We started it last week with Olivia and like you, she sleeps well when she goes down but it was a battle getting her down but it has worked a treat, it was awful but it usually works after a couple of days and those couple of days then has turned her into a much happier baby, she wakes up in great form and sometimes we still have a few problems getting her down but we just adopt the method again and it works brilliant.
  • Thank you so much for your reply summer, if im completely honest I know deep down im going to have to do CC. I know not everyone agrees with it and thats fine.. Like you said, I know all Finn needs is sleep, and if it means a happier, well rested baby then im more than willing to do it. I think its harder for the mummy than the baby, thats what i need to get my head around. Ill pop u an email now for that document, thanks so much xx

    [Modified by: Ellie.x on June 05, 2010 09:19 PM]

  • I've done cc, although not often as it hasn't been needed but when he struggles to settle its the only thing that works!!!

    Agree totally with summer if you pick a method stick at it so as not to confuse him. CC is hard I cried doing it but I knew all he needed was sleep and like summer he's much happier as he's well rested. Yesterday he had a 2 hour 45 minute nap I had to go and check he was still breathing!

    CC is controversial to some but only you know whats best for your gorgeous boy

    Love and hugs to you both xxxxx
  • Hey hun, don't feel guilty - just to tell you that cc worked a treat for my ds2, it worked in 1 night! But it didn't work at all for our dd - and I could tell - she just got too distraught - so we stopped.

    You are mummy, you know what will suit him best. I don't think cc should be used lightly, but as a last resort and as a way of sleep training when all other needs have been met, it can work.

  • sorry ellie been watching a film. i actually dont know as dd is only 11 weeks we have not done anything like this jat read about it working on here. she falls asleep anywhere betwen 6 and 9 on her own, so i just wait until she is tired, then she sleeps for 12 hours, wakes for a feed and play then has a 40 min nap.
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