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Bonding at birth

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  • No I didn't get the rush, and initially it did worry me, but after 13 hours of labour I was too drugged up, tired and shocked to feel anything much and that shock (and mild trauma from a difficult birth) I think lasted about a week until one day I was walking across the road with hubby and buggy and thought to myself, you know what, if a car came speeding around the corner right now I'd throw myself in front of it to save my baby and I wouldn't think twice. Thats when I really felt the love and now I get it all the time when I look at her beautiful little face :\)
  • Hey PTB,
    Due to the circumstances surrounding Skye's birth I definitely didn't get the rush that people talk about so animatedly! It has actually made me very tearful just thinking back to it and sad that it didn't happen, in fact I am sitting her typing with tears running down my cheeks... :cry:

    The fact that everything happened 7 weeks early, coupled with the fact that I was transferred 70 miles from home and Skye was delivered by emergency section and then whisked away to SCBU meant that although I was so relieved that she cried within seconds of coming out, and was therefore okay (!), I never got the initial emotional rush of love.

    In fact, I was so traumatised by the events surrounding her arrival that I didn't actually want to go up and see in in SCBU to start with. :\( My PIL had been taken up to see her before I properly met her, and they took a picture to give me. I remember just staring the photo in total disbelief, not quite being able to get my her round the fact that she was mine and was here already. It took me about 4 hours after being taken back to the ward to summon up the courage to go and see her. I suppose it didn't help that I was totally numb from the waist down and drugged up to the hills, but I did get to hold her that evening and think I was just rather shell shocked!

    The wires and tubes everywhere meant that I was scared to hold her and deal with her in the incubator, and I think it must have been a good 3 or 4 days before the whole thing sunk in and I really understood that she was mine and I suddenly became very protective of her. :\)

    Maybe it's beacuse I have never been that maternal a person either?

    But now of course she is my world, and I look back with twinges of guilt over the whole experiences thinking that I let her down somehow.

    Iz & Skye x

    [Modified by: posy1971 on July 01, 2010 12:35 PM]

  • I didn't get the rush, but I expect that that's because I already had it when I was pregnant. In my mind she was already with me and already a little person with a personality and I would chat to her, so when she was born it was just like, I have a squirmy baby instead of a bump now! x
  • what a great thread!!

    I had to have an emergency c-sec and was handed the baby as soon as they could but he was handed to daddy first and that really upset me as I was trying to see my baby while the staff were weighing him with daddy but I couldn't move and couldn't see him, then I went into shock and they had to sort me out first before I could meet my son

    but once I saw him, that was it for me, my heart just melted and I knew i would love him forever and ever with all my heart
    then that night the nurse suggested he slept on me as I couldn't move to get him out of crib and it would be easier to bf. It was the best night of my life, I don't think I slept a wink as I just couldn't stop looking at my little bundle!!

    My boy is nearing 3 (September) now and nothing has changed!! I love him so much it hurts and I often wonder if i'll squeeze the life out of him one day!!
    last night he woke at 1am for a drink and whispered to me "mum come in my bed and cuddle" How could I refuse!! Absolute bliss!!

    Claire and Shea (2 years 9months)
  • Aw Iz I'm sorry the thread made you sad :'( I doubt very much what you felt or didn't feel has anything to do with maternal instinct. It must be nearly impossible for the love to overwhelm you when your baby is delivered amidst all the panic Skye was - I can't speak from experience obviously but I image it's the panic that overwhelms you. In a way that speaks volumes for the love you felt, though.
  • No - I always knew I would love him, my mothering instincts were straight there but as someone else said it was more relief that pain was over and he was ok to begin with.

    This will sound awful but it is true. He was the ugliest baby I have even seen, mainly due to being back to back and his face was incredibley swollen, barely recognisable as the same child now, he had a massive dent in his forehead from my pelvic bone and he was reallllly long and thin. (he is honestly gorgeous now to me, and to me a good looking little boy, I look back at pictures and cant believe it is the same child, might be a good thread the uneditted newborn pictures to today pictures haha)

    I cant even begin to describe my love for him now, nothing compares. He is part of me, we are buddies and he is my life and my everything.

    I did get an overwhelming rush of love for my OH though, he was so good to me during the birth and cried when LO was born. In fact I have never loved him like those first few days.
  • I didn't get the rush. I gave birth at 9pm and was alone on the ward with him by 11pm, I just remember being so utterly exhausted that I just wanted someone to look after him for a while so that I could sleep! I also remember thinking on several occasions during the following weeks 'what on earth have I got myself into!'.

    Thankfully, my wonderful friend had told me during my pregnancy that it's perfectly normal to have such feelings, thanks to her honesty I wasn't concerned. I did love him from the start but it's nothing compared to the overwhelming feeling I have today, he's my world. In a way I'm glad it's happened gradually-it must be like a massive sledgehammer to the heart to have these feelings instantly!xx
  • with ds1 i didn't get the rush I think I was in shock lol he was unplanned and I had every drug you could during labour and was very aneamic afterwards, i remember being washed down by the auxillary afterwards and asking her when my baby was coming, I was on another planet, then up on the ward I remember looking at him and thinking he couldn;t possibly be mine!!!

    I found from the next day the love just grew and grew and grew and still does today, even when he's being a cheeky wee skitter (now 6) oh how he loves to test his mum, even more so now that number 2 is here as he knows when bfing im stuck so will use this to his advantage lol lol

    with ds 2 it was immediate, it was 16 months of trying for him and in labour I didn't take any drugs that would affect my head as I didn;t want the same experience I had with ds1 as soon as I seen ds2 I just loved him , I think too because I had ds1 and knew how wonderful being his mum was I knew what was coming with no 2. oh I love my wee boys I cant wait to have more lol

  • This will sound awful but it is true. He was the ugliest baby I have even seen, mainly due to being back to back and his face was incredibley swollen, barely recognisable as the same child now, he had a massive dent in his forehead from my pelvic bone and he was reallllly long and thin. (he is honestly gorgeous now to me, and to me a good looking little boy, I look back at pictures and cant believe it is the same child, might be a good thread the uneditted newborn pictures to today pictures haha)


    :lol: Funnily enough when my ds1 was born I couldn't stop looking at him, and I thought he was the most beautiful, perfect thing alive!

    A few years later, I randomly looked back at some of his newborn pics and he looked AWFUL! He had got stuck during labour - he was all puffy and red, he had managed to burst a blood vessel in his eye, so he had one red eye lol. Frankly he looked like he'd been beaten up!

    xx
  • With my dd1 i didnt get the rush it built over time i think it was because we had tried for 3 years to get pregnant and i kind of didnt believe it had finally happened lol.
    With dd2 it happened straight away but i didnt get to hold her straight away as she wasnt breathing so was rushed off but once she was put in my arms it hit me and she was the spitting image of my grandad lol
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