More sleep help needed please

Me again with more sleep issues. LO is now 20 weeks and has a number of sleep issues that we need to cure but I dont know where to start - what to try and tackle first, and how to go about it. Any help would be much appreciated as I'm beginning to get really down about it all now - I'm constantly exhausted and cant get anything done.

So here we go, (in no particular order...)

1. At night the easiest way to get him to sleep is to feed him (he's EBF) but have been advised to stop this as if he's full and awake its a nightmare. If we try and put him down even a little bit awake he screams for about half an hour and then either drops off after some singing and rocking or needs feeding to sleep again. It takes so long to get him to sleep that he's never in bed before 8.30 (more like 9) but has his bath at 7. Ideally I'd like him asleep by no later than 8 - as it is I get no evening time to myself to do anything but have a bath and go to bed.

2. He keeps waking in the night (i'm sure he's hungry, he takes a good feed - generally 3 times a night now). The HV says he's using the boob to get back to sleep and I should try and not feed him but he just starts screaming and wont be soothed so I just end up feeding him anyway.

3. He doesn't nap well during the day. He can only seem to nap in the car or in the pram, or after a feed. Its like he can smell we're back in the house and wakes up within minutes and then wont go to sleep. I have on occassion got him in his cot but its such a battle to do so and he never sleeps for long when he's there.

So in short he spends most of his time fighting sleep and wont self settle, and its wearing us all out, emotionally and physically. I feel I need to try and break him of all these habits but it feels like such a mountain to climb that I have no idea where to start and how to do it. Dont want to think about CC or CIO until he's at least 6 months old (as recommended by 2 HV so not going against their advice.)

Please help....image


  • Hmm I have no advice (sorry!) but am having similar problems with my ds. He is 22 weeks and for the past 2 weeks he has been waking about 4-5 times a night to feed. Last night I put him down at 8, he cried so I breastfed him back to sleep, then he woke at 1am, then 4am, 6am, 7am and then finally woke at 8am for the day. To say I am exhausted is an understatement!!! Coupled with that he's started crawling recently so i have to have my wits about me all day long as he's a little scamp.
    Like your lo, my ds doesn't really nap in the day, only little power naps and usually when on a car journey or when we go out in the buggy.

    Ignoring the advice of my hv, I have started to wean him now as I know he is hungry. He's over 18lbs, crawls and can sit unaided so I figured that 6 months is just a guideline. For the past 2 nights i have given him some Aptamil follow on milk, which broke my heart (he was EBF up until this point), but I will continue to bf alongside this and have no intention of stopping until he no longer wants it. I just thought it might help him sleep better and my HV did say that if you bf after 6 months, babies need extra vitmains also so I thought that must be in the follow on stuff?? Who knows. At first I thought it was a growth spurt but its just ongoing now.
    I hope someone on here can offer some assistance as like you, I am worn out!!!
  • I know you said you don't want to use CC. But I used my own version, where I only left lo 2 mins in between, only longer if not continuous crying. It worked for us when my lo was younger than yours is own. It took 45 mins to settle first night, and he was self settling by the 4th night. (Although we do use a muslin and light show). With naps, you are supposed to follow the same idea. HTH. xx
  • Have you thought about doing something like the EASY routine? Based on the Baby Whisperer?
    I did a loose version of it as we used to have very similar problems evening wise and it was driving me bonkers. I used sshh pat technique and worked like a dream for us. It's a gentle approach.

    Have you tried using a dummy during the night when he wakes? Just to see if it's just that he wants to suck rather than feed? Obviously if he IS hungry then go with it for now.

    With regards naps, if you find shh pat works for you at bedtime then do the same for naps (if he's in his cot).

    That's all I can think of for now! xx
  • Hey chubs,

    I had the problem with Jacob waking in the night. He was waking at 11pm, 3 am and again at 5am.

    I spoke to the health visitor and she suggested that I dilute his formula, I know he is ebf, but does he take any expressed milk from the bottle? If so, maybe you could dilute it and see if that works for him. JAcob stopped within a week!!! But I am also weaning him too, and I remember you saying he didn't get on too well with baby rice.

    Can't help you withj naos as Jacob barely sleeps for more then 40 minutes at a time during the day!!

    It will get better soon, I think your doing amazingly on so little sleep!!
  • as with mithical, i did my ow version of CC with both of mine, i did it for loger with archie (now 3) because he wouldnt settle at night.then i do it every now and again with phoebe (10weeks) because although she can self settle she still kicks up a fuss if she is over tired when she goes to bed. with phoebe, if she cries i go in, pop her dummy in (which is usually the reason why she is crying), and wait til she has finished crying before i leave the room again. and i just repeat this until she drops off, it doesnt harm her because im not leaving her crying at any point, i go in to soothe her immeadiately but i never take her out of the cot because i dont want her to get wise to this and think crying=getting picked up. i had to do it a bit different with archie because i started off cuddling him to sleep (novelty of first baby and all that haha!) and made the decision at about 4 months that he would go to bed properly. i used to leave him for 2 mins at a time, the first night takes ages, but it gradually gets better and by the 2nd week of it he was just going straight to sleep and he has done so ever since. i recommend a dummy if you arnt already using one, it really helps them as they dont need feeding very often at night. phoebe has a bath at 5.30 with archie, then a bottle at 6, then bed at 6.30, then i take archie up once i know shes asleep. i dreamfeed her at 11pm and she doesnt wake up, then she stays asleep right through til 7am. she doesnt nap much in the day though, only for 20mins at a time, shes far too nosy to nap haha!

    archie 3
    and phoebe 10weeks
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