LO at your wedding ceremony - thoughts please

Ello ladies,

Me and OH are getting married abroad in October......LO will be 13 months. He is naturally one of my pageboys etc.....

I love children at weddings and have 9 coming out with us of all ages from 1-15.

I always intended my mum to hold him during the ceremony - HOWEVER we recently went to a gorgeous wedding recently and while the bride and groom were doing their vows thier LO (18 months) Screeeeeamed for his mum, it was soooo off putting, they couldnt hear each others vows etc...so in the end the bride put him on her hip and they finished it like that.....though no fault of anyone I do think it ruined it for them a bit.

Soooooo I really dont know what to do.....the hotel we are getting married at offer a baby sitting service - I was going to maybe have then take LO for an hour during the ceremony. BUT if he can be there I would like him to be......

Would you take the risk? what would you do?

Also has anyone had a LO and wedding photo's - we have 1 year old and 3 year old pageboys and 2 and 4 year old flowergirls OMG!!!! No chance am I getting wedding photos hahahahaha

It is due to be 30 degrees - I just know half of them will be in some state of nakedness eating a indiginous caterpillar or sucking on my train or something hahahahaha


  • hey akalady my lo was just 3 and 4 days old when we got married and we had him at the ceremony, I really liked it as he walked up the ilse with our wedding rings tied to a wee cushion he was so gorge. as we were in a church it was enclosed and the minister had said before hand she was happy for him to run about which he did - when I say run about he didn;t go mad or anything but he was free to walk and see the guests as loads of his favourite people were there, grannies, aunties etc so he really just walked from one person to the next and up to us a few times but because it was relaxed and he wasn't forced to sit in the one spot he was happy enough - iw ould say by then your wee tinker will be totting about (if not already) and if the area in the hotel is enclosed personally I would go for this option - obviously safety is priority and if it would not be safe for him to tot about then I understand.

    I also think it depends on the lo I know if we had to we could have made ours sit on some ones knee but I know he wouldn't have screeched for me he would have been more interested in exploring as it can be a long time to sit

    Where are you getting married any way if it's going to be 30 degrees in October?? Sounds lovely
  • Hi,

    I wouldn't exclude him hun. We had a LO at our wedding and she just toddled around, got the occasional noises from her, but to be honest it made us more relaxed and reminded us that all our guests were there watching (seems a silly thing to say, but when you're there looking at each other it's very easy to forget about everyone else :lol: )

    Our wedding, though in a church, was very relaxed anyway so it wasn't too bad. I'd say as long as your LO can toddle around then he should be ok, or maybe you have someone that would be willing to take him out if he starts playing up?
  • My best friend recently got married and her LO was 11 months old at the time. They had her father in law to hold the baby during the service so that when baby started crying (which he did when he saw his mummy and he wasnt glued to her hip!) FIL took him outside the church to distract him. Once they signed the certificate they held LO and walked back down the aisle as a family. It really was beautiful (although baby did start to kick off again but they just laughed it off - actually looked good in photos!). As I'm her baby's godmother I offered to look after him while they had some of the photos done as a couple (I didnt take my LO - it was a day off to enjoy for me!ha)
    I think if you take plenty of his toys to distract him you'll be fine.
    What's your LO like with strangers? I'm just wondering if he would be willing to go to a hotel babysitter or would you hear crying/screaming in the distance (I only say this cos I know that after 5 minutes and once my LO realises that he doesnt know the person he will start howling for us!)

    Good luck x
  • We got married abroad when our ds was 3 we had a hotel wedding co-ordinator (part of the wedding package) she was fantastic half way through the ceromony I could hear mummy mummy I need a wee!! She took him to the toilet so it didn't disturb us! We had had a few meetings with her b4 and she asked us if we would want her to step in if needed with him to allow our guests to watch she was fantastic.

    Also depending on where and what type of ceromony u have they tend to be quicker abroad anyway x
  • We are getting married in Mauritius on the beach - containing him ahhhhhhhhhhh (I planned the wedding when I was pregnant and a blissfully ignorant single woman)

    LO is fine with strangers and will let anyone hold him atm......he will most prob be happiest with my mum......you never know we might be able to do the worlds most perfectly timed pram nap hahaha yeah right!

    As for pictures my LO is soooo difficult to get to smile on demand....you really have to work for it so he can just look cute and yummy....

    You never know - it might all go swimmingly and he will be a gem....might make vows super quick hehe
  • i think only you know your LO and how he behaves, my sister had her daughter at her wedding a few years ago in cyprus she was about 18 months and was as good as gold sitting with grandad all the way through, i think who your LO is with makes a big difference

    good luck i am sure it will be a magical day!
  • I'm getting married in 8 weeks and we have a 4 yr old and a 12 month old(who will be 14 months at the time of the wedding). They will be at the ceremony along with our 14 month old nephew,i do think it makes a difference who they sit with throughout the service,although if it comes to it i would have them by my side if they were getting upset.
    Good luck with everything! x
  • Hey hun

    I got married last August and dd was 11 months old. She was VERY clingy at thatage and my poor mum ended up missing the WHOLE wedding because dd went mad when i walked in the room and wouldnt stop screaming so mum left the room with her as she didnt know what else to do :\(

    She was devastated as she expected someone to go and get her or swap and have dd but no one did image xx
  • we had the same thought when I was pregnant, as to whether we got married before or after baby, and we decided before, just for this reason. However....

    I had 2 gorgeous flower girls, aged 3 and 4, and gave them little baskets to carry down the isle so they could sprinkle petals, and under the petals were.....SWEETS!!
    Yes I know they aren't the healthiest of treats but they sat so quietly throughout the service it was worth it.

    Maybe bring some thing he really loves, treat wise, and just get his favourte person (other than mum/dad) to keep him occupied with his treat
  • i got married in may this year and my daughter was 13 months. she was good as gold and only made the occasional (good) sound i also had 7 other little peolple in my bridal party (2 of them are baby expert babies) and if they made noise i was unaware as i was too busy saying my vows! i made little goody bags for them with healthy snacks to give them something to do/keep the noise down. and it worked a treat.

    if i was to get married again i wouldnt hesatate to have kids at the wedding cermony as for me children make a wedding more special.

    hope your wedding goes well x
  • Awww, you've gotta have him there! I reckon you'll regret it if you don't. And in years to come when he's an attitude-y teenager who hates you he'll throw it back in your face that you didn't even let him come to your wedding! lol!!!

    If it was me I would get someone else to hold him though in case they do have to walk away for a bit as it would be a shame for your Mum to miss the ceremony. We are going to a wedding in Aug and I plan to sit where I can leave discretely if Beth kicks off. I will also be drip feeding her breadsticks through the whole thing!!

    Although, as you're on a beach you prob won't hear too bad if he kicks off anyway. And he can probably easily be distracted with sand or bringing out a fav toy or snack when quietness is really needed!

    When we were on hol in Jamaica we used to lie right next to where they held the beach ceremonies and they really were v v fast so it might not be too much of a problem.

  • I got married last June, I was 18 weeks pregnant so I suppose Dylan was there image if he had been born he would have been included in the ceremony. He is in my hubbys words our whole world and so not having him there wouldn't of been considered but its one day you wont get back so the decision is ultimately yours and hubby to be's.

    In terms of pictures with children we had hubbys god daughter she was 4 and she LOVED the pictures. I made sure she had her princess dress and she behaved like an angel all day, she can be difficult but mummy had explained how special the day was and how special her part was and so to be good it worked :lol:

    heres a pic she was in from our wedding day. Have an amazing day akaladyk, being married is amazing and I wish you the happiest day ever xxxxx


  • Dylans mummy that is a beautiful photo.

    ....Lady K I think you will regret it if LO is not there at the ceremony but maybe wait til nearer the time to decide exactly what to do with him lol, as you know they change by the day and how he is now may not be how he is in 3 months time.

    He is used to being with your mum so it might not be a problem but you don't want your mum missing out on hearing your vows etc. I think having some snacks or toys that he loves nearby is a good idea. I know at the moment if I give LO some carrot sticks or my keys or something like that it keeps him quiet for ages. On the beach it does make things a bit easier. He could sit on a blanket on the sand with a couple of toys near your mum if necessary.

    Whatever your LO is into at the time will be the answer & just make sure your mum has it with her.

    I didn't have kids in my wedding party but we did have a few kids at the wedding and they were great for the photos. They loved having their photo taken. I have some absolutely lovely photos of the children at my wedding, in formal group shots and more natural shots where they were playing.

  • My brorther got married last year when his LO was about 18 months (so I know a bit older) but she just flitted between the two sets of grandparents, but my other brother was ready to take her outside if she got upset. They then walked back down the aisle with her and it was soooo lovely. I would definitely have him there (if it was me) but assign someone to take him away if he needs it - maybe a good friend or cousin and as others have said, get them to play with LO a bit beforehand.

    We had babies at our wedding and one started screaming just as ceremony started but tbh it was a fab icebreaker and really relaxed me and DH!

    Oh and as for photos, I would get someone to be in charge of LO whilst they're being taken as you may find he's in a fair few of them anyway. If you want peace and quiet could you arrange them for his naptime?

    and Dylansmummy - what a gorgeous photo!
  • Heya - I hope you sort your predicament out soon but I agree that it'll really depend on your childs attitude at that age and of tetra one thing I've learned is that you can't predict babies!

    I would try and have him there if it were me...and since it's on a beach he'll probably be happy to walk up the aisle and straight to a bucket and spade tucked in at the side where a family member can watch him whilst he plays about. Sweets is a good idea too, but I'd be careful of hyper kids running around a dancefloor later lol.

    To be honest, I think kids have a place at a wedding ceremony, but after that try shouldn't go to the reception, mainly because I don't like to see kids running around a dancefloor kicking balloons ect..and all it takes is one drunken auntie not noticing them and falling over them later on! So I'd have him at the ceremony then ask the babysitting service to take over to allow you to have your meal and night...but I know you're having other children there so that's not really fair.

    Anyway sorry I've rambled! I'd suffer a bucket and spade, a book and maybe even a portable DVD player with headphones??

    Congrats btw! X
  • *I'd offer a bucket and spade! Damn iPhone!
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