so miserable- warning, rant!

This situation doesn't have a solution so i'm just having a moan really. Hoping that writing it down will help!

Really unhappy with the way life is working out at the moment - my hubby took a job 18 months ago that involves him working on call 24/7 every other week. We knew it would be hard, but thought it could be a stepping stone to something better for him.
Now with the economic down turn, he's adamant that it's not the time to jump ship and find something else, and i can see the logic of that.
But i just feel that i can't tolerate the situation any more. Last night was typical - he left the house at 7.30am and came home at 11.30pm. He was called out again during the night at 3am and was out for a couple of hours, up again at 6.30 to get ready for work today. This is going to continue for the next 3 weeks, and we'll be lucky if he only gets called out once during the night.
This obviously means that i get woken up all through the night and spend all day knackered while i look after my wee boy and other kids too. Hubby suggested he sleep on the sofa but with him getting in so late and then not even sleeping in the same room as me, i'm left wondering what the point is in even being married to him. I'm more lonely than if i were single! In the last 2 months, he's only had 3 days off!!
Obviously i love him to bits and appreciate how hard he works for us, but i'm really worried about the state our marriage will be in by the time the economy picks up again and he can get a job with better hours.
I just wish we could get out of this situation somehow, but we're well and truly stuck!


  • hugs (((((((())))))))))))))))))
  • oh hun i can so sympathise, not the same thing but with the old 'credit crunch' my oh's company aren't doing too good either, they have made loads of redundancies which was a massive worry but to try and prevent him being made redundant they sent him working away, which he's been doing now for about 8 weeks. He's away monday to friday and i absolutely hate it, i miss him so much and i find it so hard just having jack on my own never mind other kids as well. The only thing i can suggest is trying to spend some 'quality time' together at the weekend, we now always make an effort to go and do something all together on a friday afternoon when he gets home from work and on sunday we usually go out for the day. and we try and fit in lots of cuddles over the weekend to make up for the weekend.

    I do try and make myself go and do something during the day so i don't get too bored, although for the last two days i've sat at home in my jamas feeling sorry for myself - lol!!

  • Thanks for the replies.
    I wish we could do something at the weekend, but i was not exaggerating when i said that he's working 24/7! He's a recovery driver so works all through the weekends and even if he's not out on a job, he can't leave the house as he has to be ready to jump in his truck and leave at a minutes notice - whether or not he's half way through dinner, or baby's bathtime, or asleep!
    We do try and get out together when he has a day off, but those are so few and far between at the moment that it's kind of like putting a sticking plaster on a broken limb, if you see what i mean.
    I do get out and socialise during the day with the baby which is keeping me just about sane, but the bottom line is that it's hubby i want to spend time with!
    Moan, moan, moan!!!
  • My oh is a chef and he works silly hours,and his day off is during the week, but im at work during the week so we don't get a whole day off together at the mo its rubbish!!

    its so horrible not havein ur oh there to help and support u isn't it. Spec's idea of quality time sounds like a good one

  • Oh hun, that sounds awful. Isn't there any way at all that he could reduce his hours without leaving the company? To be honest I'm surprised that he's allowed to work such long hours, I thought that there were legal limits for jobs involving driving? Is there a union that he could talk to, 3 days off in 2 months is just not on even if he did know that it was going to be hard when he started. Surely he should at least get guaranteed days off for the weeks when he's not on call? Sorry if you've been through all this before, I'm just thinking aloud (or while typing!) really. I do hope that something can be worked out so that you get to see more of each other- and so that he gets more time with his kids.
  • i think poz is right, there is def a maximum number of hours you are meant to work in a week, don't know what it is tho. Could try that direct gov website for some info x
  • oh babe i feel for you i really do i look forward to my oh coming home and giving me a hand. but i have to say your poor husband!!!! it cant be much fun for him working all those hours he must be knackered and lonley too!!!
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