Others kissing your baby

Following on from the touching hands thread...

I took James to his first settling in session at nursery yesterday. The carer looking after the 1/2 year olds kept cuddling them and kissing them. Now the kids didn't mind, and it wasn't because they were upset or anything. It was just affection.

The carer who will be looking after James some of the time, wasn't doing it. I found myself relieved that she wasn't.

So what do you think? Is it ok for someone not related, who cares for your child to kiss and cuddle them? I would hope James gets a cuddle if he's upset, but I'm not sure I want someone else giving him lots of kisses. xx


  • Intersting question and I definitely see your point. However, I know I find it hard to not kiss a baby (who's parents are our friends) when they're passed to me. It might be because I'm so used to kissing ds. I do always apologise to the parents when I catch myself doing it.

    Going back to carers, if you were looking after a child regulary, perhaps several days a week, you would have a soft spot for them. We do all afterall teach our children to demonstrate affection with hugs and kisses. I'm sure we've all witnessed the teeny 5 yr olds doting on their teachers?! I know there are some horrible people out there and heaven forbid any of us or our children should meet them, but wouldn't you rather your children receive affection from the adults in their live as opposed to any other emotion.

    Maybe I've not thought of something though. Interested to know everyone's thoughts.

    S x
  • It wouldn't bother me and dd always gives the childminder a hug and a kiss when we pick her up. I come from a very affectionate family so maybe that's why? I always kiss babies too!! I can't help it, it's almost habit.
  • if it was a complete stranger,then yes i would mind but a teacher,i think it would be ok,my little boy is starting nursery in 2wks and i wouldnt mind the teacher giving him a cuddle,i agree with what the op have said,that they probably have a soft spot for the kids if there looking after them
  • I also kiss my friends' babies, you're right, you just can't help it! :lol: So I do understand what has been said.

    These children are younger, and yes affection is important. But teachers at school might give the children a cuddle, but lots of random kisses? Do correct me if I'm wrong. :\) I think it's fine for a kiss and cuddle to say hello and goodbye.

    Maybe it's because I don't know these carers yet, and James doesn't yet have a relationship with them. xx

  • as a childcare worker and a mum to two, I do think its OK as a carer to give a child a kiss as a great a child or say goodbye or just to comfort them as long as it was used in this content I don't see any problem with it x
  • When dd1 finished her reception year this year she had a really nice classroom assistant who we both gave a kiss and cuddle on the last day of the year, but obviously we wouldn't have done it on the first day. I think once you develop a relationship over time then if you feel comfortable with it then its ok. But i wouldn't be impressed with a random stranger or someone I barely know kissing lo's.

  • Awww, I think it's nice, actually! DD went to a very small cosy little nursery and the staff were very physically affectionate. It was so reassuring to me as a mum to know that when I left her with a goodbye kiss, that wouldn't be the last physical affection she got until I came to collect her.

    That said, she was a child who thrived on kisses and cuddles, not all kids like them, so as long as there is respect and space afforded to the children who really don't like being fussed over, that's fine. Also important that parental wishes are respected, so if it's not your personal bag, and you ask that the staff lay off the kisses, they should do so.

    DS doesn't give people a chance to consider not kissing him, you pick him up and he launches at you with a big drooly grin. He's a kisser alright!
  • Not sure I would feel comfortable with this initially at nursery but after a while I would maybe be okay. Friends or family is fine but a stranger is a bit weird.
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