hi hun as you know i'm not an only child, but i thought i was going to be as there are 8 years between me and my sis, and i was always wanting a little brother or sister!! seems as though everyone else had one but me!!
the only thing i can comment on is my dad. he was an only child and he hates it, even to this day. i don't know why my grandparents only had one child as i have never asked but from what i have picked up on my dad seems to think it was for selfish reasons.... but everything has now fallen on my dad to sort out, he has no other family members to help him - my nan had a stroke and whilst she was in hospital it fell on me and my dad to look after my grandad (run him about etc as they don't drive), and then whilst my nan was in hospital my grandad died. so he had to sort out all their house, finances, moving my nan into a home (this is all whilst he was under LOTS of pressure at work). now the only visitors my nan gets is my dad (and me when i get chance) and my dad feels like there is lots of pressure on him - my nan is always angry when she sees him, saying he should visit more often. they have never been very close, and before dad retired he was struggling to fit everything in. i have tried to support my dad as much as i can (my mum can't drive, and she is often doing things for her mum anyway), but i can see that it does take its toll on my dad and he has said he wishes he had a sibling
i worry about not being able to love another child as much as T, but I am sure I would. i hope you manage to come to a decision you both agree on. big hugs hun xxxx
This thread has been so interesting, thank you. I can relate to a lot of the only children on here.
Rant first... I really hate the preconception that all only children are spoilt... my boss used to say it regularly and I could have murdered her! My parents tried for a baby for 7 years and were told after a miscarriage that they had to conceive straight away (I was conceived within month or two I think) as it was their only hope. I've never asked mum but I get the feeling that after the stress of nearly losing me too they didn't try again. I received lots of attention but had to share materially and attention wise as I spent a large proportion of the summer with cousins at our caravan or on holidays in Dublin with my other cousins. My aunt always says I was like a 5th daughter and I was very close to the youngest but this has lessened in the past 5-6 years as the distance has become greater.
When I was younger I did occasionally feel I'd missed out on having a sibling but this was compensated by having friends stay regularly. Personally it is as I've got older that I think I've wished I had a sibling more - especially when my parents were ill about 6 years ago. I think for me it's the fact that one day I will be alone - no matter how close i am to cousins, extended family & friends there is only my parents to share stories of my childhood. I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and hope that our little girl will be able to have a brother or sister in the future.x
I'm an only child and spent a lot of time with my cousins and friends so didn't really find it that lonely obviously at times i did but I wouldn't have changed it for the world especially now, at least I don't have anyone to fall out with!! although my parents divorced when I was 11 my mam and I were and still are very close especially since having my little boy who is now 7 months and is totally adored by my mam and my step dad x
My situation is a little weird because on my mums side I am an only child but on my dads I am one of 4 so really had the best of both worlds.
The hardest thing for me was loosing my mum and not having anyone else who understood, it was lonely and although my sisters and brother were there they couldn't understand because their mum is still alive.
I was spoilt on my mums side by my grandparents as I was seen as the only grandchild they may have, my aunt had a baby when I was 9 and she has been as spoilt by them as I was, they are just very generous people with time and money.
I hated being a middle child though and wouldn't wish it on anyone at times, I am closer then ever with my siblings now but its been a roller-coaster and they are fab aunt's and uncle.
My OH is one (the youngest) of 2 boys and has been spoilt more then any only child I know including myself, and is adamant we will have 2 which is good for me but the age gap is our issue I want closer (a lot closer) then him as I don't want Elana to remember being an only child but he wants 5 years like him and his brother.
Replies
as you know i'm not an only child, but i thought i was going to be as there are 8 years between me and my sis, and i was always wanting a little brother or sister!! seems as though everyone else had one but me!!
the only thing i can comment on is my dad. he was an only child and he hates it, even to this day. i don't know why my grandparents only had one child as i have never asked but from what i have picked up on my dad seems to think it was for selfish reasons....
but everything has now fallen on my dad to sort out, he has no other family members to help him - my nan had a stroke and whilst she was in hospital it fell on me and my dad to look after my grandad (run him about etc as they don't drive), and then whilst my nan was in hospital my grandad died. so he had to sort out all their house, finances, moving my nan into a home (this is all whilst he was under LOTS of pressure at work). now the only visitors my nan gets is my dad (and me when i get chance) and my dad feels like there is lots of pressure on him - my nan is always angry when she sees him, saying he should visit more often. they have never been very close, and before dad retired he was struggling to fit everything in. i have tried to support my dad as much as i can (my mum can't drive, and she is often doing things for her mum anyway), but i can see that it does take its toll on my dad and he has said he wishes he had a sibling
i worry about not being able to love another child as much as T, but I am sure I would.
i hope you manage to come to a decision you both agree on.
big hugs hun xxxx
Rant first... I really hate the preconception that all only children are spoilt... my boss used to say it regularly and I could have murdered her! My parents tried for a baby for 7 years and were told after a miscarriage that they had to conceive straight away (I was conceived within month or two I think) as it was their only hope. I've never asked mum but I get the feeling that after the stress of nearly losing me too they didn't try again. I received lots of attention but had to share materially and attention wise as I spent a large proportion of the summer with cousins at our caravan or on holidays in Dublin with my other cousins. My aunt always says I was like a 5th daughter and I was very close to the youngest but this has lessened in the past 5-6 years as the distance has become greater.
When I was younger I did occasionally feel I'd missed out on having a sibling but this was compensated by having friends stay regularly. Personally it is as I've got older that I think I've wished I had a sibling more - especially when my parents were ill about 6 years ago. I think for me it's the fact that one day I will be alone - no matter how close i am to cousins, extended family & friends there is only my parents to share stories of my childhood.
I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant and hope that our little girl will be able to have a brother or sister in the future.x
The hardest thing for me was loosing my mum and not having anyone else who understood, it was lonely and although my sisters and brother were there they couldn't understand because their mum is still alive.
I was spoilt on my mums side by my grandparents as I was seen as the only grandchild they may have, my aunt had a baby when I was 9 and she has been as spoilt by them as I was, they are just very generous people with time and money.
I hated being a middle child though and wouldn't wish it on anyone at times, I am closer then ever with my siblings now but its been a roller-coaster and they are fab aunt's and uncle.
My OH is one (the youngest) of 2 boys and has been spoilt more then any only child I know including myself, and is adamant we will have 2 which is good for me but the age gap is our issue I want closer (a lot closer) then him as I don't want Elana to remember being an only child but he wants 5 years like him and his brother.
Its a minefield isnt it? xxxxxx