Sorry, just feeling so low :-(

Hey ladies and babies

I'm having a bit of a down day today and don't have anyone to talk to so thought i'd get it off my chest here.

I lost my nan last week and its her funeral today. What it is is its my dads mum and when my mum and dad split up i carried on seeing him for a bit but he turned nasty so i stopped which resulted in me not seeing anyone on that half of the family because i didn't want to bump inot him anywhere. Anyway...he's asked me, my brother, and my sister to go to the funeral and because i've not seen them for so long (at least 15 yrs!) i feel i don't know them well enough anymore to be there yet i'm gutted and feel i should go for not making time to see her when she was alive. I didn't see much of my mums mum either growing up but just before she died i had a lovely chat with her in the hospital which made me feel i'd made up for lost time but i've not had this with this nan and i'm riddled with guilt that i never got to see her before she went and now i feel way to uncomfortable to stand with all that side of my family and wondering whether to just go up myself after and give her my goodbye then when everyone has gone? i'm just in a confused state at the moment and so guilty for not making time for her.

Sorry to go on, just had to get it off my chest

Lisa xxx

Posts

  • Oh hun, hugs and kisses to you.

    I don't really know what to suggest, but I didn't want to read and run. Maybe you could go the funeral so say you are sorry and say your good buys and not go to any after gatherings. That way you can advoid some uncomfortable situations with family mambers. Do you have anyone else to go with you??

    Kerry
    X X X
  • I guess you have made your decision now, but still didn't want to r&r- I hope that if you did/ do go it goes ok and that it doesn't feel too awkward. But if not, you can always go and say your goodbye another time, and it might help if you can 'tell' your nan what you've said here about feeling all confused. And don't blame yourself about losing touch with your dad's family- sounds like the blame lies firmly with your dad.
  • thank you girlies

    Well in the end i did go, just got back now and i'm really happy with how it all went. She had a lovely send off with all her family there and i even had a good chat with my dad! (with bro and sis in tow). I had the biggest stomach ache on the way thinking something was gonna be said but it was all so nice and i got to meet family i've not seen since being a little girl which made my day. I'm so glad i went in the end because i'd have felt so guilty if i'd not gone and gave my last respects.

    Thank you for listening even if you've not replied.

    Lisa xxx
  • hey,

    I didn't read the initial post until now. I'm glad you feel like you made the right decision and wanted to say that i'm sorry for your loss.

    I lost my grandad recently, although the service was very difficult as I had been close to him (I lived there on and off while at uni) it was nice to meet up with people that I hadn't seen for many years.

    Funerals are very sad events but have a way of bringing familys together.
  • I am only seeing your message now and it seems that you made the right decision for you. At least you spoke to your dad and met other family members so something good came out of the whole thing.
  • I'm so glad that it all went well.
  • Glad you made the right decision for you. xx
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