what would you do?

I am in a dilemma.....
My friend has a baby girl 2 weeks older than my LO and we see a lot of each other, the problem is i think she isnt feeding her LO enough! She is 7 1/2 months old and EBF and has been weaning since 5 months. SHe has tried a few times to switch to bottles but didnt really persevere, and all she does is moan about still being tied to the house and having no freedom! Her little girl was a big baby at 10lb and in the first few months continued to gain weight well but when she got to 4 months she stopped gaining, she is now still only 14lbs. I know babies are all different but my friend is (IMO) far too laid back about feeding her, she came to lunch the other day and gave up after a few minutes as her daughter was getting in a mess...she said..."oh i cant be doing with that-I'll just give her some boob instead!" I offered her some of my LO's lunch but she just said that her LO isnt that into food and prefers milk!!! Surely 2 1/2 months into weaning her LO should really be on 3 meals a day with milk feeds inbetween? The other thing is she doesnt ever feed for long as my friends uses her boob as a comforter if her LO gets grumpy or whiney so i dont really think she is ever hungry as she is snacking....

Dont get me wrong i am a first time mum as well and by no means want to sound like a know it all, but i really think the health visitors should be helping her, she did have regular visits at one point as she had PND but they stopped a few weeks ago. Its not as if her baby is satisfied as she still wakes up to 3 times a night for a feed!

How would you approach this or do you think i am being too judgemental and should let her get on with it?


  • Difficult one - breast feeding mums are very defensive about how they feed their babies and dont like being questioned (haha me anyway!!) I do agree that baby has hardly put on any weight and at the age of 7.5 months should be on 3 meals a day especially if being weaned since 5 months or so. Even with baby lead weaning which we are attempting my dd eats at meal times so in effect 3 meals a day. She is 7 months and doubled her birth weight at five months (7lb 3 born). She is not a huge baby and is still ebf.
    With breast feeding it is easy to calm and sort out all problems with a boob, which it sounds like your friend is doing. I have had to learn my babies behaviour for feeding and differentiate between grumpy and hungry which is difficult with all babies I suppose.
    She shouldnt be giving up on solids with the idea that breast milk will do, as iron levels are depleating in babies this age and breast milk does not provide enough iron for them.
    It is easier to shove a boob in their mouth when they winge or seem to be messing about feeding with solids but you need to persevere. My little one had an awful sickness bug so has had to learn to eat again after being full boob for around a week as that was all she could tollerate.
    All babies do things at different ages but her HV should be providing advice about weaning etc and at least noticing the minimal weight gain.
    Its difficult to say if you should say something to her, depends on how close you are, but If you are worried about her baby I would probably in a nice way broach the subject with her or look into a breast feeding group for her to go to and go with her - the one I go to has been a god send for all things boob related and weaning related so this might help. There are groups called "baby cafe" all over the place - you can get more info on the net - just type it into google. They have professionals and breast feeding peer supporters (mums who have done special training to give advice)
    Hope this helps in some way and your friend and her baby stay healthy
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