Feeling Really sad - TMI for the second part!

Hi Girls

My little man will be 5 weeks old on Thursday, ive been really teary since last week sitting crying for a good hour or 2 sometimes, is this ok? did you girls feel like this sometimes aswell, I love my baby so much and love being with him so i feel guilty to feel like this, im not sure whats normal and not, I dont want to tell anyone either incase they think im not coping. as well as that i dressed up for my OH last night and when we went to have sex and it was the first time so i was worried it wouldnt feel the same, he sid it felt fine but he kept stopping then he said he wasnt in the mood, and that it was because he was wearing a condom, (we never use them as im norm on the pill) he also said im tired that kind of crap i felt so hurt and upset with myself im scared theres something wrong, im doing my pelvic floor exercises not sure how long they take to work, think I might be too hard on myself, any adivce is welcome and thanks for listening to my moan!!

Lynsey

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  • hiya

    the first part is perfectly normal, but if you dont start to feel better soon talk to your HV about it. it could be baby blues or PNI

    Not sure about the second part... maybe don't put so much pressure on yourself - its bound to be different but it doesnt make it bad or worse.... maybe give yourself a bit longer before trying again, and just let it happen spontaneously.

    xxx
  • Firstly - the tears - could be down to all those horrible hormones. Don't feel guilty about it at all, I've had times where i've cried because lo just wont settle and i'm tired or things have got on top of me. Quite a few times lo hasn't settled (she's never been a good sleeper) and I've a good cry in my dh's arms then tackled getting loo back to sleep - it's all been down to being so exhausted and upset that I couldn't get lo to sleep in her moses basket as she just wanted to be in my arms!
    BUT, if it persists, do talk to your health visitor as it could be a sign of PND - best to get help early so that it can get sorted asap, PND is a medical condition, not caused by not coping.

    Secondly - my lo is 22 weeks and I've still not attempted sex yet! So, others will have to help you on that one, but I can imagine that it was different and he may have been trying to not upset you by the way he reacted. Try talking to him about it - perhaps it's best to do 'other things' before attempting it again.

    Lisa
  • Hi,
    The first part is very normal, the baby blues normally kick in at about this time (or a bit earlier) and are caused by your hormones returning to normal after your pregancy. But if you don't start to feel better talk to your HV, just remember this is normal and does not mean you are not coping.

    With the second one don't forget that your OH is adjusting too. Five weeks ago you were his partner and lover now your also a mummy. He needs to get used to this too and the fact that he is a Daddy now and has that additional responsibility. He might also be worried you'll get pregnant again (even though you are using protection). Give him some time and if you can talk to him do, You may find that he is full of worries and insecurities too!

    Hope that helps a bit image
  • yeah i agree with steph. also if he was there when u gave bith he has seen ur bits do things they shouldnt lol! my hubby was the same he said he cudnt stop thinking about the fact it wasnt just for sex i had had a baby out of there and he had seens it and its just weird! lol. mens minds work funny! im sure things will be okay but tell him he upset u and ask him whats wrong? m hubby wud rather not do it at all than have to wear a condom! we have never used them ether so that may also be weird! but u need to talk to him. even if u text him while at work he might find it easier to tell u if it aint faceto tface! xx
  • Hi hun, bug hugs, Firstly, it's not that you're not coping, but think of all the hormonal changes your body has been through and is going through now, it will take time to get back to normal. I would mention it to your health visitor and keep an eye on it, but i'm sure you're just adjusting to such a huge change.

    As for the sex part, have you told hubby how upsetting you found this part? As women we are great at reading into things, and maybe you're doing this and your hubby just doesnt like condoms like he says. He might be able to put your mind at rest? My hubby hates them too, moans they are too tight (bless his little ego) but we are now trying for another so are not using them. I would definately talk about it with him though, he may not realise how much it has gotten to you. Good on you for mustering up the energy to dress up and go for it in the first place! xxx
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