Im such a bad mum :-(

I need some advice...please dont judge me

I feed both boys together on the recliner sofa and Ryan had fallen asleep feeding so I put Alfie in his bouncy chair and left Ryan on the sofa asleep. Unbeknown to me, Ryan woke up and whilst wiggling, managed to fall, bottom first, off the sofa. I cant believe I didnt check he was still asleep. He landed on his front. I cant see any marks or anything and he screamed for about a min before calming down quite quickly. He has now taken a couple of oz of a bottle and gone off to sleep (not unusual).

I dont know what to do/look for??

Please dont shout at me...I feel awful :cry:


  • Hey hun, first you are not a bad mom, every momi know passed through something similar, lets be honest you will never be able to protect your children 100%, you try your best, thats it hun.
    your lo just ate and slept. that is a good sign.
    My question is: did he cry after he fell?
    what you should be looking for, is if lo throws up more than usual.
    Please dont worry hun. and in case you cant calm down you can call your midwife or your pediatrician

  • He screamed blue murder for about a minute but calmed down quite quickly with a cuddle and a comfort. He doesnt seem hurt, just shocked
  • Oh hun, you really are going through it at the moment aren't you?

    You are NOT a bad mum, you are doing a brilliant job with two boys who are struggling to feed comfortably... Most of us struggle with just one - and you are doing all of this with two of them (do you get much help from your OH?)

    I'm sure lots of the girls will tell you stories of their LOs falling - Daisy fell out of her bouncy chair onto the wooden floor whilst I was on the phone to the doctors and I cried so much I had to put the phone down! Then my mum called and I was hysterical - so much so that her and my dad raced over here!!! Daisy is fine and still here in perfect condition...

    It's difficult at bedtime - I guess I would just check on him more often than I usually would to check he's fine! He's fed so he's not in pain...

    You could always call your out of hours doc to check what they say...

    And no-one will be shouting at you - if they do, we'll shout back louder at them!!!!

    lots of love and cuddles to you!
    C xxxx
  • hi gemmie

    you are not a bad mum, I accidently knocked tylers head the other day whilst putting him down on his mat as he slipped. I felt awful about it, it was only from an inch or two from the floor but it really scared me. He yelled for a minute or two but more from shock than anything else, i kept a close eye on him but he's fine. I think these babies are tougher than we think, as long as he has eaten and seems alert when he's awake etc then he'll be fine, if you are really worried though you could always ring your hv.

    sarah+tyler(35 days)
  • Hubby helps as much as he can but, with it being Xmas, and him being a chef, he hasnt been at home much. Im just exhausted and was so pleased that he had gone to sleep for a little while that I didnt want to disturb him. Theyve been so uncomfortable for so long that they dont really get much sleep.

    Thankyou for not shouting at me. He seems alert and calm, and the crying is because he is uncomfortable more than because he is hurt (they always cry for about 30mins after they are fed)

    Ill keep an eye on him as they dont go to bed till 11pm, and will phone out of hours if im worried.

    Thanx again
  • If your a bad mother, then I'm horrific. After cleaning under the sink out I knocked over white spirit so cleaned it up, put the bottle on the side (which still had about an inch in the bottom) raced out the door to pick my son up who promptly drank the remainder whilst I nipped to the loo when we got back. Que a trip to the hospital in an ambulance. My son got his own back though, he promptly vomited all over me when he was given the medicine!
  • Gemmiebaby - we have ALL been there. My LO slid out of his bouncy chair a few weeks ago and his head was an inch from the floor before I noticed. My DH knocked LO's head on the car today when he was putting him in the car seat. Its horrible and it makes you feel terrible but accidents happen and your little boy is fine. I do know how awful it makes you feel though.

    You must be so tired - you would have to be superwoman not to make little mistakes.
  • Gemma

    Hope you didn't think I was being critical about your hubby! Just read my post back and it sounded a bit arsey!!!!! Just was hoping that you get some support - must be hard with him being a chef and working those unsocial hours!

    Sorry if you thought I was being a stroppy cow - I wasn't , I promise!!!

    Hope Ryan is OK..

    C xxxxxxxx
  • I didnt think that at all MrsButtons. Just wanted to point out that, while he tries, I am basically doing everything on my own - all night feeds, all daytime looking after, as well as trying to keep the house relatively presentable and looking after myself!! Its a tough job and, while I love my boys to pieces and wouldnt change anything about my life, I wouldve loved to have one at a time!
  • Gemmie-my youngest son rolled off the bed when he was 6 months old, and my youngest rolled over for the very first the foot stool on to the floor. I have two under 2's who I love to bits, but I get rushed off my feet and put them down sometimes without thinking about it properly. Reading that, would you automatically say I'm a bad mum?
    Probably not! I certainly don't think you're a bad mum either. Accidents happen so easily, especially when we're tired/rushed/stressed and even more so when little one is only just starting to wriggle around!
  • Oh hon it's happened to us all, I'm sure! I cracked Rachel's head on the doorframe when she was a few weeks old, and DH let her roll off the bed. I think he cried more than she did!

    You're doing such a great job with your boys - anyone would find it difficult with 2, let alone with the hours your lovely husband has to work, Rich works in a restaurant too and I remember those early months when all I wanted was someone else to put her to bed or give her a bottle, and my poor DH was working all the hours God sent (Rachel was born in December, so right in the middle of the Christmas rush!)

    But I promise it will get easier, and just remember any time you need to blow off steam come on here and have a rant, no-one will judge you.

    I'm sure Ryan will be fine, especially with having landed well (good boy!) No doubt he'll be awake for his next feed and will have forgotten all about it.

    Hugs, Hannah xx
  • That's exactly what I was trying to say!

    I can't imagine how you even begin to do all of this with not much help! I don't get much help from my husband (he works relatively long hours, but also suffers from severe uselessness!!!!) and I find it hard, with just one!

    Try to take some time to celebrate what a brilliant job you are doing - even if it's half a minute before you fall asleep!

    In the meantime, we're all here for moral, and practical support!

    C xxxxx
  • Gem you are not a bad mum you are SUPERMUM!!

    Like everyone says, we all struggle with one and whilst you wouldn't want to make a habit out of it, everyone has a story to tell!

    I was mortified after dropping LO the first night she was born (it was early hours wednesday and had no sleep from Sunday due to induction) but luckily she got wedged between the bed and cot so no damage was done.

    Sobbing to my friends about how awful a mum I was I was told stories of their older babies jumping head first off beds, sofa's, playing with things they shouldn't be....

    It happens to us all chick. You have suffered more than LO I'm sure so put it down to a lesson learned and enjoy your boys image

  • exactly lulu, gemmi you are a super mom, and most of us are struggling with only one baby. you are doing a great job really, and if i were you i would buy me a gift image
    as for my question, it is that when a baby falls and cries then this is a good sign, you should worry if baby fell and didnt cry. i know that because my cousin fell like 2-3 times image
    Really hun you should be proud of yourself. and your babies could have never had a better mom.
  • Thank you ladies. Well, Ryan is lasting damage. I think we berate ourselves so much and worry about everything that we feel awful if we happen to do something stupid! (Yes, hubby spent most of last night telling me that one moment of silliness does not make me a bad mum!)

    Thank you for your replies. It made me feel better to read them when I was here on my own as I felt so awful.

    Once again this website has saved my sanity!
  • Hi all, you have all made me feel better too. My little girl fell all the way down the stairs on boxing day. She is 11 months old. My OH left the gate open and i didnt check when i put her down.

    I cried longer than she did and there is not a mark on her. I was shaking and feeling guilty ever since. But i have read all your replies and realised we all have these mishap stories. So thanks and glad Ryan is ok too

    Laura and Jodie x
  • Don't feel bad Dex went off the sofa and I felt terrible - when I called NHS direct ( as my friends dropped him in his car seat previously!) they said - check for him behaving normally, make sure he is drinking and make sure he is swallowing his saliva! x

    big hugs x x x
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