woa this does sound familiar! i worked full time before my mat leave and we have a 19 month old and i found it physically exhauting as i did shift work my hubby would think that as i didnt start work until 130 (i worked until 10pm) and vice versa when i got in at 330 from 7am that i had more time than him to do the tea/hoovering/washing/ironing etc etc. he however would come home from the same 8 hours work and do bugger all as he "had been to work all day and was tired" it caused many an argument when i came home from work at 10pm and the house was a mess. yes he would do the bedtime routine but that was it. similary if i worked the weekend he wouldnt be able to do housework as he had our son to look after! what the hell did he think i did all day! this stopped when i kept having fits of temper and then fell pg again and he realised he had to help more and now ill help but still has to be asked which annoys me as its our house and our mess not just mine! i get him doing DIY instead! good luck and let us know what he says x
Good luck, hope you get a good response. If you do I'll definitely be using this as inspiration for a little chat with my hubby. He's not too bad but could do with a kick up the bum before it gets too bad. S x
That one about the dishes being CLEAN before they're put away is all too familiar, I actually burst out laughing...know it's not funny hun, hope it's sorted soon xx
Stick to your guns, my oh was very like that and at times now still is, he still says things like "I have done the hoovering for you" oh yes becuase the hoovering is mine right. Really hope you sort things out, there is nothing worse than feeling like you do. xxx
sooo... i bet you're all dying to know how he reacted - it worked!!! this is his email reply:
you are absolutely right... and i think this is a much needed wake up call - you deserve a lot more from me, and so does evie.
sorry that it took your email for it to really hit home - things will change - i will do more to give you a break form the massively busy days you have... i still dont appriciate it like i should, maybe because i've never tried it, but thats not an excuse.
cant really say much else than sorry, really really sorry, and i will change and improve.
love you, and i will make sure you know it from now on xxx
Well done linzi!! what a result! hope things are better from now on. Ive tried really hard this week to not nag hubby so much and be a bit less snappy and its made SUCH a difference! Its been really nice, its amazing what small change can do xxx
Well done linzi!! what a result! hope things are better from now on. Ive tried really hard this week to not nag hubby so much and be a bit less snappy and its made SUCH a difference! Its been really nice, its amazing what small change can do xxx
aww bless at least he realizes! hopefully things will get better! me and my hubby are doing the same thing we are both making an effort to appreciate each other more and we i have started cooking the tea for when he is in from work then he is cooking at the weekend, its nice to all sit down to a family meal at 5pm! like sunnymum said it is amazing how much of a difference it makes to be nice to each other! lol;; glad it worked for u! xxx
Well done! Just shows how much he cares and hope it makes life a bit easier. The direct approach has worked-wonder how many of us have the balls to do the same when/if we need to?!?!? x
Hiya hun.. Did I trigger something with 'what job's your OH doesn't know exsist?'
You sound like you have been mulling over this for a while and you were very brave and very right to write that, clearly it was needed! It's so nice that that you got a possitive responce from it.. maybe it would be a good idea to have a little follow up idea if what 'improving actually means to you & to him.. so you can make a plan, so if in a few fews time he does slip a bit (lol they all get complacent!!) you can say back to him do you remember that YOU offered to/agreed to do.. give him ownership of his responcibility rather than making you feel like your nagging! xxxx
His reply brought tears to my eyes, bless him, I just hope he means it and really starts to help you out more.
My hubby also thinks I do nothing all day despite having an 11 month old to look after and being 13 weeks pregnant with number 2. Unfortunately when I tell him I need him to help more he just doesn't get it at all!
Good luck and I hope you get a lie in and a bacon buttie in bed this weekend! x
Brilliant, what a result, if he does slip into his old ways then just gently remind him that you need a rest too, sometimes men just need a kick up the bum to realise xx
afternoon, good to hear it had good results. Do hope he sticks to it,,,if he doesnt you can ask him why did he lie to you then! Really hope he provides you with a good end to 2008
I told my husband to read it as I sometimes feel like writing him a letter very similar. He refused lol! xxx
Replies
Stick to your guns, my oh was very like that and at times now still is, he still says things like "I have done the hoovering for you" oh yes becuase the hoovering is mine right. Really hope you sort things out, there is nothing worse than feeling like you do. xxx
Kerry, Freya and Bump
X X X
you are absolutely right... and i think this is a much needed wake up call - you deserve a lot more from me, and so does evie.
sorry that it took your email for it to really hit home - things will change - i will do more to give you a break form the massively busy days you have... i still dont appriciate it like i should, maybe because i've never tried it, but thats not an excuse.
cant really say much else than sorry, really really sorry, and i will change and improve.
love you, and i will make sure you know it from now on xxx
RESULT!!!
xxx
glad it worked for u! xxx
You sound like you have been mulling over this for a while and you were very brave and very right to write that, clearly it was needed! It's so nice that that you got a possitive responce from it.. maybe it would be a good idea to have a little follow up idea if what 'improving actually means to you & to him.. so you can make a plan, so if in a few fews time he does slip a bit (lol they all get complacent!!) you can say back to him do you remember that YOU offered to/agreed to do.. give him ownership of his responcibility rather than making you feel like your nagging! xxxx
My hubby also thinks I do nothing all day despite having an 11 month old to look after and being 13 weeks pregnant with number 2. Unfortunately when I tell him I need him to help more he just doesn't get it at all!
Good luck and I hope you get a lie in and a bacon buttie in bed this weekend! x
I told my husband to read it as I sometimes feel like writing him a letter very similar. He refused lol! xxx