made to feel bad for working 4 days ;(

Well, I'm back to work in a week and half of me is looking forward to it and half of me is dreading it!

I'm going back 4 days a week and the amount of people that say to me 'oh what a shame you have to work so much' or 'really that is such so much'

One girl even said to me you shouldn't have kids if you have to work more than 2.5 days a week!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel bad enough as it is about leaving LO and wish we could afford for me to stay off another day but at the moment it's not feasable.
I've been off work 11 months so feel quite lucky about that and hoping to be pregnant agin next year some time.

Anyone else work 4 days or full time?


  • im going bk (36 hours a week) in 3 weeks time. i went back full time with dd1 too as like you say its not an option for everyone to stay at home.
    sorry i cant offer advise what to say to perople other than ignoer it! x
  • I'm not due to go back till early next year, but I'll be doing 4 days minimum when I go back.

    You shouldn't be made to feel guilty at all, not even by yourself!

  • I'm not in your position (I work seven days a week but work from home so do it round caring for my son - no, not the best of both worlds, but that is another story) but I do have a friend who works 4 days a week because that is the nature of her job. She is one of the best mothers I know and her daughter is a lovely, well adjusted little girl with the biggest vocabulary of any 16-month-old I have ever met. You are doing the right thing for you and your family. That makes you a good mum - and don't you ever forget it! Good luck with starting back at work. It is tough, but hopefully you will find it rewarding as well.
  • You should ignore anyone who comments on this - you are doing the best for your family and that is to be commended not belittled. How does the person who said 2.5 days max think babies/children are paid for?!
    I went back 5 days when my lo was 7 months old, she is a wonderfully confident, conversant little girl who is a pleasure to be around. We have fun filled weekends as we can afford to treat her as we both work full time.
    Ignore them honey!
  • I work 4 days a week. I'd love to do 3 but money wise we'd not pay the mortgage and bills (am biggest wage earner).

    Don't feel bad, everyone's situation is different. x
  • Thanks so much for your replies. I know that I am doing the best thing and as most of my friends work full time, I feel lucky to drop 1 day.

    It's other people from work and baby groups that make me feel bad, maybe i'll start telling them that I can't wait to go back!

    I suppose I'm lucky that I don't need to leave for work until 8.15am and will be home by 5.15pm so will see him for a while am and pm.

    thanks again

    [Modified by: nessie2 on July 10, 2010 09:30 PM]

  • I will be working 4 days a week. But will use up annual leave first. I don't have a choice as I earn more than my OH, and most of the bills come out of my money.

    People shouldn't comment if they don't know your personal cirumstances. xx
  • People always have comments ( I know, I can be one of them) but the best thing to do really is ignore them. I'm going back 4 days and the way I see it is I'm lucky to be able to afford to take a day off to spend with LO, as we need both wages. Poor DH doesnt get that option (men are never mentioned in these debates are they despite being a parent too?)
    And I definitely cant wait to get back to work, I really enjoy it, I love my job, not as much as I love being a mum but I think I'm lucky that I can do both.
  • I find that work keeps me sane!! I work full time and my lo is in nursery full time. If I were to drop even a day the drop in nursery fees would be nothing compared to the drop in wage! It really is annoying. However my son loves nursery and sometimes he cries when I try get him in the car. He has been at nursery full time since the beginning of the year and is now 17 months old. He is very confident and has picked up heaps of things from nursery. Of course I would want to spend more time woth him but I cannot image Please don't feel bad it is hard but its just the way it is image I do really feel for you as I remember the hurtful comments well. I would say ignore the comments but its easier said than done. Good luck with work image
  • im also gonna be going back 4 days a week. My workplace will only let me do that if i take a demotion out of a management position so it will be a significant drop in salary and we just cannot afford for me to drop anymore days. Anyone who comments should just be told politely but firmly to do one, its noone elses business x
  • I am going back to work full time at the end of August, I will be working about 45 hours a week over 6 days, personaly I wish I didn't have to work so many hours but that's the nature of my job and there is no option of doing part time. I think I must be quite lucky though as I've never had any negative comments about it, in fact a couple of times I have been told that I was lucky I was able to take so much time off.

    I also have never had any negative comments about bf or weaning, cloth nappies etc that many others have said they've had.

    Maybe my reputation goes before me and they know I'd tell them what they can do with their opinion. :lol:
  • I work 4 days and went back just as the twins turned 6 months.

    However, most of the comments are stopped as quick as they start as soon as I tell people that I love my job (im a primary teacher) and couldnt wait to get back as I value my career and dont want to fall out of practice for when I go back full time when the boys are at school! I dont know what position you are in, but I know more parents that work than not, and for most it's a necessity, rather than a choice. Im just lucky that I, personally, dont think I could be a stay at home mum.

    I cherish my Fridays as I have a day with the boys when we can do things you cant normally do at the weekend, like walk around town without being stopped every second! lol. My main problem is that I dont see hubby when im at work as I work Mon-Thurs, 7.15 till about 5.15, and he works Wed-Sun 9am - 10pm (he's a chef). Does mean he can spend some quality time with the twins though, as he has them Mon and Tues.

    Sorry, ive rambled, but just wanted to say that, in my experience, working parents are the norm.

    Good Luck xxx

    Gemma, Ryan and Alfie 9 months
  • I went back full time after ds1 and with my job i had to spend nights away as i travel at lot. It is hard but my job couldnt have been done part time. I went back but pt after ds2 but only because my employer had made me redundant when i told them i was pg for a second time (only 16 mth gap between them).

    This time ive registered as a childminder as my choice is this or working full time, which would hardly be worth with 3 kids in nursery.

    I personally think kids that are in childcare any days a week benefit hugely from it. I used to see the difference in my kids daily especially compared to kids who are maybe looked after by granny. They are much more confident, enjoy mixing with other kids, clever with numbers/colours etc and generally outgoing.

    If people used to comment to me about me working and the kids being in nursery i would just say that i agree that if i won the lottery it would be lovely to be at home all day, however, my kids love nursery and thrive on it and it actually does them good. That shuts them up

    Gemm x
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