Vowed I never would!!!!!!!!

HI Girls

Bring out the bad mother brigade. From before I ever had any children until today I always vowed that I would NEVER smack them, because i cant see how it works, although i was always smacked as a child which did me no harm.

Anyway, this morning had Stevie Louise on my lap as she is teething and not very settled and Caitlin (2) was having a massive tantrum for absolutely no reason whatsoever, when all of a sudden she punched Stevie Louise right in the face. I Shouted at her to stop and she did it again, so i put Stevie down and without thinking smacked Caitlin's hand. I now feel so terrible that i have given her a pack of chocolate buttons and sat in the kitchen like a blubbing mess!!!

I just feel like a total failure, i mean she is 2 years old bless her heart.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:x

Posts

  • hi hun (((hugs))))) i know how u feel i also vowed i would NEVER ever smack any child of mine even though like u say we were as kids and it never harmed us ...but ....i hate saying this ...jack has had a couple of slaps on his leg or hand in the past few months ...nothing horrendous just a tap but nothing and i mean nothing else was worked ...i did it once cos he ran out of the shop and then laughed when i got him i smacked his hand and told him it wasnt funny it was dangerous and he cried and said sorry he has never done it again ...but boy did i cry when i got home cos it was my fault for trustin him for 2 seconds while i picked up my bag !!! ........dont feel bad hun it really doesnt do them any harm a little tap and i think as mums we are able to judje when we think they have taken it too far ....just give her a hug (not straight away in a few minutes and explain it was wrong ) and it will all be forgotten ......hope ure ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Sony often gets a smack on his hand or back of the leg. If I have to say no &/or remove him from something I have denied him more than twice & he still goes back to it then he gets a smack. IMO I think it teaches them far quicker & much more effectively than all the "no's" in the world. These aren't proper hitting, it really is only a tap but it has an effect so IMO is worth it.



    [Modified by: Beebee on February 09, 2009 12:57 PM]

  • I have smacked my son (who's now nearly 8), but I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've had to resort to it. I have rules for myself about smacking though - it's always a last resort and Ben always gets a warning before he gets a smack (i.e. if you do that again I'll smack you), and I never smack him in temper. I don't think there's anything wrong with smacking a child occasionally - as you say, it's no more than a tap and probably hurts us more than it hurts them. It seems to have worked for me with Ben, and I'll be using the same strategy with Lyla when she gets older.
  • i always said i would never smack my children and as finley is only 7 months old it isnt really an issue yet. but me and oh have discussed discipline. we will be using the naughty step method but we will also smack as a very last resort when nothin else has worked. we were both smacked as kids and it didnt do us any harm but my dad used to give me a smack in temper and i have vowed to never do that. i think blueladybird is right, your probably feelin worse than she is. have a brew and give her a cuddle. hope your feelin better.xxx
  • try not to worry babe i think we all swear we wont and do at some point.

    To be honest i was smacked as a child and i know for a fact if the only punishment i had coming was a good telling of or being sent to my room i probably wouldn't have stopped doing most things.

    I dont smack them often but some times its needed,
  • I've smacked my son once after a warning. I'm so ashamed I never even told my hubby! It was only a tap on the leg, as 'no' had not worked. I was always smacked as a child and it worked. However my hubby wasn't. He had no discipline in his house growing up, so doesn't understand!
    I felt bad, by Isaac forgot about it 2 mins later.
  • Hi

    Please don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes lo's do need a smack (not too hard and after a warning) if their actions are endangering themselves or others and I think punching another child in the face is a prime example - whether it's a sibling or not. With some children they just don't listen to words and understand that you really don't want them to do what they are doing - a smack on the hand, leg or bottom with your hand is the only thing that makes them stop, take notice and allow you to get through to them that their behaviour will not be expected.

    What do you do if your lo is getting into the habit of running into the road (despite your best efforts)? Keep saying no, explaining that they mustn't do it, only for them to run into the road and be injured or killed - or do you go through the usual warning etc then next time give them a smack to make them take notice and listen to you, even though they may cry for a little while.

    It doesn't always have much effect with some children, but if used very sparingly it could just save your lo's life in the future - or at least make them listen to you rather than risk another smack.
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