Feb 6, 2009 11:29AM
thanks for replys, just deleted coz my sis said she going to join soon arrrrr iv been asking her for ages and what a day to pick, i hope its deleted.... shit
[Modified by: hayleyspirit on 06 February 2009 13:30:21 ]
Feb 6, 2009 8:36AM
I feel sorry for you, you are in a really awkward position, yes 4 year olds can be naughty and tell lies but not like that, it sounds as though he is absolutely terrified of his father, not to mention the things his father has said about him and to him, abuse is not just physical it is emotional as well. It seems as though your sister is scared of him and wont stand up to him, I'm sure as you say she does love her little boy very much but her oh has such a powerful influence over her that she darent stand up, she says he gets amcked if he is naughty, I am not judging what they do but personally I wouldnt smack a 4 year old as to me the difference in size of a grown man to a 4 year old child is to big to justify it and there is a difference to giving a light tap on the hand and a hard smack (obviously i dont know what they do).
Personally I would try and speak to your sister to air your concerns but if you feel you cant or you wont get anywhere then I would speck to social services, I know people will not agree with me about that but they are there to help and support not just to take children away from their parents.
Feb 6, 2009 8:39AM
What a difficult situation for you to be in, I almost cried reading about the situation and what has been said/done.
Your sister probably cant let herself believe that something bad could be happening to her son.
I think you have to do something though it's difficult as if he is being ill treated (which it sounds like he is) or if something really bad happens then then you'll never forgive yourself for not taking some action. I really dont think that a 4 year old could make up so much stuff that seems to be so consistent with other events - eg the being scared at night and telling you about daddy threatening to cut him. Does he have any marks on his body that seem suspicious?
Could you invite your sister over for a sleepover with her son - have a girly night and maybe have a heart-to-heart when the children are in bed.
You could phone social services anonymously for advice, or the nspcc? I would hope they could give you advice without you having to give your sister details.
Feb 6, 2009 8:42AM
hayley I - we must have been typing at the same time, I do agree with you - social services are there to help and support familys not just take them away.
Feb 6, 2009 8:46AM
Oh my goodness your poor wee nephew! I don't have any real advice sorry but just wanted to say i think you are right to question what is going on at home and you are being a very caring Auntie looking out for him! Sorry not much help, I hope your sister will see sence soon! x
Feb 6, 2009 8:49AM
That poor, poor little boy.....
Not much to add really as I am useless at giving advice, but it does sound like he is scared of his dad & he is mentally and possibly physically abusing him and also scaring the poor child. Its very sad.
Hayley & loopy loo have given some great advice, I too would have a heart to heart with your sister about it before anything else xx
Feb 6, 2009 9:18AM
i just rang my sister to see if he has calmed down and was talking to her about everything really, then i said i really dont think you shoukld try for another baby when things are like this,.. and we was dicussing this when my nephew shouted in the back ground, mummy i dont want a baby, coz then ill have to leave coz there ist enough bedrooms... my sister was crying of how he could think this... she resured him and said come to thing off it hes been telling lies since christmas which is since when she told him they was going to try for another baby... my sister reasured me that nothing has being going off at home, she said that her hubby used to be a littlenasty with him coz he was suffring with depression but has since had conceliing and his tee total and things have been great for a while..
my nephew then came on the phone to me and i was speaking about toys and i told him what jayden was doing and he said i dont like jayden he punched my head early and called me a poo head! so its soo hard what to belive anymore... just going to see my sister more and giv suppurt if they need me.. and i can keep a closer eye on her wanker of a husband.. i have told my mum my suspisions and she will be checking onto them more.. thanks for the advice was appreciated will bear it in mind
hayley1 when i say smack its only a light smack either on his hand or bum but usullay they do the naughty spot.. xxx
Feb 6, 2009 9:24AM
Hi,I agree I would invite sis and nephew over and have a heart to heart with her,I would accuse,just try asking gentle questions.I think your sis maybe doesnt want to believe her bf could be scaring/hurting their son,so brushes it aside or gets defensive.its an awkward situation and i hope you can help.You are doing the best you can and I understand your concerns about losing your sister,I dont think this will happen,ultimitely she will thank you in time!
Feb 6, 2009 9:27AM
I just had to respond to this post.
I really feel for you and from the information you have posted i do think something is happening to this little boy.
children pick up on situations around them and copy and the outburst in the morning sound to me to be him copying, i can just imagine the boys dad chucking his toys and being nasty to him.
I agree with everyone else, you do need to do something. I agree a girly night with the bully out the way is a good idea, you could have a few glasses of wine and then broach the subject gently, that way even if she gets angry and defensive she can't drive home with the little mite.
Children should be loved and cherished it sounds clear this little boys dad doesn't like him let alone love or cherish him.
You have to say/do something and if your sister won't stick up for her son then you have to and i'd consider involving the authorities. if only someone had done this for baby p he could still be alive and living a happy safe life.
Feb 6, 2009 9:40AM
[Modified by: Joey08 on February 06, 2009 01:46 PM]
Feb 6, 2009 11:29AM
I've just seen thats you've deleted the info, do you want us to delete our responses??
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