Not using any routine?

Hi, my son is almost 12 weeks old, has been bf on demand and fallen asleep mostly while feeding so far. I haven't tried to impose any routine so far.

In the last couple of weeks he has started spacing out his feeds and sleeping a bit longer. He has also figured out how to go to sleep all by himself - thanks to discovering his thumb. :\)

I'm just wondering if it's all a fluke or whether he's just changing as he gets bigger and might keep doing it.

It was almost 5 hours last night till he wanted fed, which is unheard of so far.

I suppose it could all go pear shaped next time he's ill or when teething starts, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts...

Has anyone else tried just doing what their baby wanted at first and when did you have to get a bit more organised for sleep/naps etc.?

thanks x


  • I wouldn't know where to start with imposing a routine with my lo she's just refuse to do it my way i definitley have to do it her way. Generally she bf every three hours during the days but sometimes she's more sleepy so feeds less often and i just go with that as long as i havent got to go out anywhere in which case i'll feed her every three hours and plan my day to avoid screaming round the supermarket (her not me).

    I'm lucky as Skye sleeps through the night (she's four onths now) but she used to wake every 4 hours at night and just slowly slept longer and longer, although when she dinally slept through thats when day feeds went for every four hours to every three.

    We tend to put her down at about 7.30 and dream feed her when we go to bed but again that's all from her as she's normally really tired by that time and wakes when we go to bed.

    I've really just let Skye find her own routine and sleep patterns as luckily she never got day and night confused and so i never had to impose anything.

    I think as long asyour lo is happy and his own routine isn't impractical or causing you stress don't worry too much about it and just let him tell you what he wants.
  • I didn't start trying to get Millie (my eldest) into a routine at all untill she was about 4 months, and it was only a feeding routine untill she was about 6-7 months when I started trying to get her to nap and things at set times. I was bfing on demand and I found that she would go quite a while in the day between feeds, but then be up all night feeding to make up for it. My mum suggested aiming for 3 hourly feeds during the day, so that she was feeding enough to be full up at night. Once she started solids that helped push her into a stricter routine as I offered the solids at the same time every day.
    When number 2 (Barney) turned up he had no choice, he slotted into his big sis's routine from day one, although I fed him whenever he was hungry to start with.
  • Thanks. image

    I guess I am just curious as routines seem very popular these days.

    He is certainly not causing us any hassle, he is feeding every 2-3 hrs during the day, with the odd cluster in morning or evening, so generally all is good and he seems happy.

  • I always said I would not follow a routine and baby would have to fit in with us and if we went out etc he could sleep in the pram if needed etc and I wouldn't have a specific feed time, just whenever he wanted it. I was very much of the thinking 'who needs a rigid routine running your day, a baby's a baby, they'll just whatever! This was fine for the first 4 or 5 months but I'm having to re-think now! He hasn't wanted alot of milk recently and I really think this is becasue we've been really busy going away from weekends and going out xmas shopping some evenings and it's unsettled him. The last week or so I've been feeding at set times and he's started taking more again. I also read something about sleep not being quality sleep if it's in motion ie in a car seat or moving pram so I try to make sure he has at least one nap a day in his cot for quality sleep. It's made a huge difference. I don't stay at home all day, but whereas before if I was out and he wasn't crying for his milk, I dind't worry about giving it to him at a set time, now I stop somewhere at the right time for his feed. I've followed the routine that he kind of set for himself though, I just make sure we stick to it a bit more each day and if we have had a busy few days I try to have a few calmer days. He's 5 months now and I think ready for a relaxed routine, but it worked really well up to really recently without one.
  • I don't use any set routine, she knows day from night (8 solid hours past 2 nights!!) but she likes to stay up late and sleep in late, have tried waking her earlier but she gets very ratty. HV seems to think it's because hubby works permanent nights!

    I tried to impose a routine but she fought so hard against it that I let her do her thing and she sort of settled into her own routine. I have no probs with her, she has great daytime naps and feeds well (I mix feed so bf at night, morning and throughout the day with the odd bottle thrown in so hubby can help out)

    If you are happy with the way things are don't change it!

  • when i was pregnant i was so sure that i would implement a routine as soon as possible but due to me being very unwell after giving birth it didnt wok out that way. However DD has completly put herself in a routine that works for us as well but we have just followed her really. She sleeps nine hours overnight and is happy throughout the day. To cut a very long story short i now feel just do whatever is right for you. My lack of routine is working at the moment but im open minded to change if needed.
  • I had no routine at all but she fell into one herself pretty much out of no where, so it might not be a fluke.
  • My daughter is 4 months old and, like your baby, has started to form her own routine. It started off with her choosing her own bedtime which i then designed a routine around, and she now always wakes at the same time for a night feed. She also wakes in the morning at a set time and has a morning nap at the same time too. Can't imagine trying to impose anything else, wouldn't know where to start!
  • Hi, like the others I never imposed a routine on my newborns either (and i cuddled/bf them all to sleep lol) - but by about 3 or 4 mths they naturally started falling into a 'feeding/sleeping pattern'.

    I found that introducing solids demanded more routine, and as they spent more time on solids and got onto 3 meals a day, they really thrived on routine. But you can let baby 'lead' this routine, but I did find they thrived on 'the same things at the same time of day' if that makes sense.

  • my lo is ten months! i dont have set routine as such but i do like him to have nap in cot for am nap, afternoon depends. he has breakfast, lunch and dinner at no set time but at resonable times so 7-9am and 12-2, and 5-6 ish. and bed is between 7-8pm. i dont believe in set times i am never hungry/tired at set times of day so i dont expect my baby to be. but whatever works, i do have friends who's babies wake at same times like clockwork!
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