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Lost my baby

I am so sad and heartbroken, words can not express what I am going through. I lost my baby Jonathan during delivery. Jonathan was our first child born on 27th Sept 07 at 41 weeks + 5 days. We have just had his service on Oct 22nd 07.
Everything was fine during the pregnancy, no hiccups, text book pregnancy, all was good right up until the last few mins where his heartbeat dropped and gradually faded away. I was instantly whisked to theatre and put under a general to awake 3 hours later and find we had lost him. In the 2 mins it took to get him out via a section he didn't make it. He didn't take a breath. All his bloods and checks they did showed that he was under no distress and nothing was wrong its just like he gave up as the transition didn't work. Poor thing I just wish I could of helped him somehow. He went for a post mortem and we get the results on 22nd Nov. Now I just cant cope. I am in pain from the section as they tore a ligment during surgery and in pain as I have no baby. Jonathan was beautiful as well I just wish he was here. I am 38 and time is running out for me to have another child considering the doctors have told me to wait 12 months before trying again so it gives my internal body time to heal.
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Replies

  • Kendra I am so, so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what you're going through and I know no words will help at this time. There are so many wonderful girls on this forum and there's usually someone on here day and night, so make sure you use us all as much as you need to, to help at this time. I'm 35 and just trying for our first. Nothing yet at month 7 so who knows if we can but I know of so many people who've had babies later in life and all's been fine. Remember 40 is the new 30, so in fact we've got ages! I hope time will heal you and you go on to have a wonderful family - I'm sure you will. Love to both you and your husband.

    Daisy

    x

  • all i can say is im so so sorry for you xxx
  • So sorry for your loss, i know no words will make you feel better. I guess its gonna take some time. But i hope you take comfort in the fact that we're all here for you. What you've been thru is every mother/farthers worst nightmare!!

    I hope your getting all the support you need from your loved ones esp your husband!!

    Sending big hugs and kisses your way!!
  • I'm so sorry for you loss. Time is a healer but it is something that will always be close to heart for you. Support from family will be important. And although probably your instinct is to start again immediately, sometimes you just need that period to grieve and start afresh.
    I pray you find peace. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.
    Luv Jess
  • I am so sorry for your loss and it chokes me to read stories like yours as i dont know how i would cope if i lost my daughter. All I can say is if you ever need to chat we are always here to chat
    Fiona x
  • I don't really know what to say appart from I am so sorry for your loss. I know no words will make any difference to how you are feeling and can not begin to understand how you are feeling. I hope that some day soon you will have a happy, healthy family.
    All my love, take care. Kerry
    X X X
  • I'm so sorry you've had this experience. It's unimaginable how much pain you must be in right now, I hope you have lots of family and friends offering their support. Sending you hugs.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • ive not spoken to you on here before but just wanted to say that i am so sad for your loss and im sure everyone on here is the same. so sorry.xxx
  • i am so sorry for your loss i had a mc at the age of 16 went on to have 4 beautiful children all by c section and i did not wait a year to get pregnant i think they just say that i had another mc new year but am now pg again if you feel like trying before a year i would go for it i was told that your body needs time to get better but never had a problem there is only 13 months between all my kids again i am so sorry for your loss listen to your body you know how you feel x
  • Nothing anyone says is every going to ease what you're going through but it's nice to read that people are thinking of you at this time. I really am so sorry for your loss and I read your story with tears in my eyes. I wish you and your husband lots of love and best wishes for the future.
    Love
    Donna
    xx
  • I am so, so sorry. That is horrendous and I really hope you start to feel a bit better soon. I dont really know what to say but i'm thinking of you and your family xxxxxxx
  • i am so sorry for your loss. my thoughts are with you and your family.
    love and hugs becs xxx
  • Kendra I am so so sorry for your loss, reading your story has brought tears to my eyes, I cannot begin to imagine what you and your husband are going through right now.

    Time is a great healer and I'm sure in time you have the healthy baby you obviously want so much

  • i am so sorry to hear of your loss hun
    i can not begin to imagine what you and your dh are going through
    sending big hugs luv sam xx
  • I'm so very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and i hope you will find sunshine in you and your husband's lives again soon. x x
  • Kendra im so sorry to hear of your loss, i cannot try to say anything that will make it better for you, you will need love and comfort from your family to help you through this hard time. My sister lost her baby at 38 weeks and i know she is still hurting and she often talks about her little girl and what she would have been doing and what she would have been like. She found the burial a help and she also planted a cherry tree in the garden so every time she looks at it it gives her strength. My heart goes out to you and your OH.
    Love Diane. xxx
  • Sorry for your loss i cant imagine what you are going through thinking of you take care
    Lin.
  • Im so sorry to hear what you went through, i really cant imagine how you feel. take care of yourself, thinking of you, Vicky x
  • God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
    He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
    He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
    His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.



    My sincere sympathies to you both, I cannot imagine what you are going through and wish I could do or say something to help. My thoughts are with you.

    Vicky
  • I am so utterly sorry for your loss.
    Huge hugs.
    Vicky
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