post natal depression

UCanDoIt107 · Feb 7, 2007 6:54AM

ok - i am 18 weeks pregnant with my third child.
after the birth of my 2nd child i developed post natal depression. i was put on tablets by the doctor after being referred by my health visitor.
The tablets helped but when my partner found out he went mad that i was taking tablets for depression and told me i didnt need them.
Hr would say things like stop being so moody and snap out of it, cheer up or im not coming home from work. he was totally unsupportive and made me feel like i was doing it on purpose. It caused alot of arguments between us and seriously threatened our relationship. His parents even told me it was ridiculous i had been given depression tablets because there was no way i was depressed.
I explained all this to my doctor who was really sympathetic and printed me aload of info out to give my partner to read through (which he didnt)
she even suggested my partner come down to the surgery with me so she could explain to him but he refused. I even went out and bought him a book on postnatal depression to read which he never even picked up.
I tried to explain to him that i understand it is difficult for him and that it wasnt my fault but he wasnt having none of it.
I eventually got over it but as i am pregnant again i am really worried about getting it again after i give birth to this baby. The last time i never felt so isolated in my life. My partner and i usually have a good relationship and im worried it will be threatened again.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did you cope?

xxgeorgiacxx · Feb 1, 2007 5:44PM

i can understand exactly how u felt but i'm having pre- natal depression.. if u can. my partner is SO unsympathetic its unbelieveable. I'm going thru quite a tough pregnancy and all my boyf is bothered about is that the house is a mess. we r 2nite on the verge ov splitting up coz i'm just sick ov his critisism. Apparently i'm just lazy i never do anything. i'm 32 weeks pregnant and 2 b honest i could do without all this. he does nothing in the house and has only cooked once since i've been pregnant, which i put in the oven. i just feel like an incubator for his baby he doesn't give a sh** how crap i feel as long as long i'm doing the housework - inbetween being sick, having a low iron level, a blood disorder, a toddler running riot and a big bump being in the way. I just can't cope anymore.

bigmomma · Feb 4, 2007 4:09PM

I can't believe what i have just read...how could your partner be so inconsiderate to your feelings and ignorant to the fact that pnd is an illness! gosh what would he do if you were terminally ill with cancer? tell you to stop getting treatment and suffer with the pain!!! for heavens sake how much horlicks does he drink each night? maybe you should try some hun. i would be worried if i was you, but somehow i doubt you will allow him to do that to you again, you know what to expect with pnd if you have had it before. i have had it 4x and may get it again after i have this baby but then again maybe i wont, i am not going to worry about it unless it happens. just remember hun, there is plenty of support out there and on this site from women who can empathize and sympathise with you, so you dont need his support! However, if you do go through it again, make damn sure he goes through it just as hard, and if he wines about your irratic behaviour, put it to him that theres nothing wrong with you, you are perfectly fine, but maybe he needs to see a doctor if its stressing him or depressing him! seriously hun, you have to be strong and you have to think of what is best for you, if you need anti depressants, you take them. i would definately take them if my husband was like yours, and my husband knows that if i didnt take the pils, he would probably have been a battered husband. chin up, take care and good luck. xx

UCanDoIt107 · Feb 7, 2007 6:54AM

Thanks for all your responses. It helps alot to know im not alone!
shell, i know exactly how you feel with that too!! Im always getting moaned at about the house not being tidy enough, the dinners not as home cooked as they used to be! My OH is very unsympathetic, he even moans when im ill, i have had alot of sickness with this pregnancy and alot of bad headaches (tension headaches caused by STRESS!!) I have 2 toddlers and some days its an effort just to get out of bed to care for them! You say you feel like an incubator for his baby, i feel like that alot, no amount of trying to explain seems to work. I think the government should send all dads to be to classes to learn how to be supportive to their pregnant partners! I dont think men can ever really understand how difficult it is to be pregnant, especially when you have other childeren to take care of. Women are beyond doubt the stronger sex, if men had babies instead of women the world would be severly under populated!
I hope every thing gets better for you hun,
Toni xx

post natal depression

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