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Devastated to be joining you

Hi Ladies,

Firstly I wanted to say how sorry I am for your losses. I can now really understand what it feels like to lose a child.

I was pregnant with my 2nd baby and all was going well after some difficult early weeks, everything had settled down well at 10 weeks and I was told that my pregnancy was normal and no complications were expected. I felt well and had seen my consultant just Thursday last week.

Sadly my waters broke on Tuesday evening unexpextantly and although it was hoped that my baby could stay inside for a few more weeks, I went into premature labour yesterday morning and delivered my beautiful but tiny daughter Grace, at just 24+1. She weighed just 750g and was cared for by a fantastic team in special care. We know that everything possible was done for our daughter but she simply was not ready to enter the world and after a very short life of 10 hours, she died in our arms last night. The sense of loss that I feel is totally undescribable. I am absolutely devastated and numb. It's something you never really imagine will happen to you.

I hope that I am able to talk on here and that it will help in the process that lies ahead. Friends and family are trying to help but they cannot really understand the total sense of loss of losing a child. I've already had comments such as "oh well, 3rd time lucky" and "I'll be able to catch you up having a 2nd one now". I know people don't intend any harm, they just don't know what to say, and until yesterday I perhaps wouldnt have done either.

Love George, x

Replies

  • George I just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am for the loss of your daughter. I'll be thinking of you and your family today.

    xxx
  • oh my goodness can i just say i'm terribly sorry for your loss, how completely devastating for you. I just wanted to send hugs and best wishes and i really hope you get answers for the reasons she was delivered so early. I haven't been through this but could not read and not reply to you. I really hope you have people supporting you at this difficult time, those comments made to you are utterly disgraceful and NOBODY should even dare make such disgusting comments to you they are idiots. Even if its not intended to make you feel bad there is no excuse and i would gladly tell them where to go. Please take good care of yourself hun
    xxx
  • George, im so sorry Grace couldnt stay with you. I am thinking about you and your family at this terrible time and sending you lots of hugs.

    xxxx
  • Just wanted to say how very sorry I am for the loss of your beautiful angel Grace. She will always be with you. Take care. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
    xxxxxxxx
  • Thank you so much for your lovely messages and for thinking of us. I had a good look at the SANDS website and it is really helpful. I don't really know how to begin dealing with my grief at the moment. I feel so empty and numb. I keep thinking of my tiny daughter and how helpless I was to protect her. Thank you again for your support. It really does mean alot to me. George, x
  • I am so very sorry for your loss you didnt do anything wrong she was just too precious for this earth. my friend has this written on her little boys memorial stone

    'A angel in the book of life
    noting down an infants birth
    said as he closed the book
    far too beautiful for earth'

    Im also sorry that people dont know what to say, they will never 'catch up with you on your 2nd' as beautiful Grace will always be you second child.

    Hug and prayers with you all.

    doublebubble
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Grace. Although nothing anyone can say will ease the pain, I will be thinking of you and your loved ones. xxx
  • Dear George

    I was so sorry to read your story about your precious Grace.

    It is unthinkable to have to face the loss of a precious child and yet here we are, finding strength in each other, when the unthinkable has happened.

    To know that your daughter passed away in your arms, surrounded by love and warmth will hopefully give you comfort in time to come. To know that you spent precious time with her, that you gazed upon her tiny and beautiful face and that those moments will give you a lifetime of special memories will help to ease your pain later on.

    I like to think that my Eve is noe Poppy's guardian angel, and that perhaps that was her purpose in life. Perhaps your darling Grace will be there for you and your future children too.

    There are no words really that I can find for you at this tragic time but I and others on this forum are always here to comfort and supprt each other - it has helped me tremendously.

    My thoughts are with you.

    T x
  • oh claire i no nothing i can say can ease the pain i just wanted to say how dreadfully sorry i am for your tragic loss how absolutely devastating. I hope you have support of your loved ones. i dont wish to insult you by saying anything further but could not read and not reply. sending you my sincerest love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxx
  • what you have said is just beautiful you truely sound like an amazing woman and the strength you are showing is unbelievable. You are right you will ALWAYS be williams mum and the love you have for him will always be there with you. This is just such a tragic loss and life can be so unfair, this makes the problems i am going through at the mo ridiculous. I'm so glad you have support and i really wish i could be there with you to help you through this, you have truely touched me. Please message me if you EVER feel you need or wish to talk about anything. I prob would be no help but would love to think i could help if i could. You are an amazing mummy. I really wish you all the love in the world, make sure you take your time and get the answers you need in order to heel. William will never be forgotten. I hope your oh is also getting the support he needs.
    Please look after yourself
    all my love i can possibly send
    sam
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • i'm so plaesed u have a picture of ur beautiful son you can always hold so close to your heart. You can be assured he is at peace although it doesnt help the situation u can perhaps take some comfort in that.
    I know u are probably going through a worlwind of emotions and sometimes it helps to offload with some1 u dont no and is not from 'the real world' if you no what i mean. That why i'd always be happy to talk.
    You certainly should hold your head up high and go to your job interview keeping your son in your mind everyday. Just make sure you dont put to much pressure on yourself and only do things you feel ready to do.
    take care love sam
    xxxx
  • I am so sorry for your loss! It's such an inexplicable pain! I can't beleive how people dare be so rude! I lost My daughter Ashleigh in july 06 i still get the rude comments now! I always think of Ashleigh as my guardian angel, i was 17 when i lost her. i am now 20 with a 9month old Caitlin, i know ashleih is watching over her too! if you ever need a chat....
    sending much love
    jo xx
  • Dear All, Thank you so much for your lovely comments & kindness. I find it comforting coming on here and knowing I'm not alone. I am so sorry for all of you who have had losses too. I've had a rough couple of days, in floods of tears one moment and in denial the next. Sometimes I feel as though I'm watching someone elses nightmare then I realise it really is happening to me. I feel so desperately sad about the loss of my daughter and people can just be so cruel. I've had another friend tell me "it could have been worse", and by contrast another say absolutely nothing which was awful. Take care all. Love George, x
  • hi george what that person said to you is absolutely dispicable and i'm sitting here in absolute disbelief that people could be so thoughtless and cruel!!!!!!!!
    Please please ignore anything like that although i am not sure i could keep my temper i feel so angry for you just by reading this.
    I am sure you are feeling so many things and there are many many stages of grief all of which are completely normal and are a necessary part of the process. Just let everything come naturally and be sure to lean on all the people that are there to support you. I really wish you the best and send you all the love in the world. I hope u dont mind me writing here its just ive been so touched by your story and wish so much i could take the pain from you. Life can be so cruel and be sure to know that you did nothing wrong, none of this is your fault. You love your baby so much and cared for little Grace for the time she was with you and will always carry her close to your heart forever. Nothing or no1 can ever take that away from you. Please take care of yourself and your family
    all my love
    sam
    xxx
  • Hi George, I have only just noticed your post... So sorry that you lost little Grace. She sounds like she put up a big fight to stay with her mummy before she left with the angels.

    You are very brave to be posting so soon after your loss, ( as is Claire) it took me a few months to actually write it down and in a way I suppose 'agnowledge' that I wasn't still waiting on my baby to be born, that she had been and left again. I wish I had, had the courage to talk on here sooner as some of the girls on this site have been of great comfort to me..

    Try not to be offended by the things that people say, we have had a few awful things said to us by people close to us. We just try to 'rise' above it and know that slthough (hopefully) they don't mean to offend us, we would never dream of being so insensitive to people in similar situations.

    Take care xxx
  • All the stories and comments on this post have made me cry, you all sound so brave. I don't belong in this forum and feel guilty for having my baby here safe and well but wanted to express how very sorry I am for your losses. I can only imagine the devastation you must feel and I expect thats only a fraction of the reality x
  • Dear George,

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We have shared stories on the Jan 08 forum, and I was so glad that you came through your earlier pregnancy problems. i am just so so sorry that you have lost your daughter.

    My heart goes out to you and all of you who have lost children. I hope that you are having better days today and that slowly and gently, there are more of the better days to come.

    Much love x
  • Dear Rhian, Thanks for taking the time to post. Hope to see you on a happier forum again soon.
    George, x
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