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My story of my Baby girl Daisy xxx
Hi every-one,
im kat im 22 and here is my story........
when i was 19wks pregnant i was addmitted to hospital with premature rupture of the membrane and was told that we was going to loose the baby as it was to early on in the pregnancy for them to help, i had to stay in hospital for the weekend and had a scan on the tuesday where i was told that everything was fine and the fluid around the baby was normal this is when we was also told that we are going to have a girl we couldnt believe it we was so pleased as we all ready have a little boy. so as the next few weeks passed i started to feel a bit better and started to buy things for my little princess....then on the 1st of december it all went wrong again i was lying in bed when i felt a little trickle of water i remember thinking to myself oh no not again i went to the toilet and the same thing happened again so thought i had better phone my oh, he came home straight away and off we went to the hospital. they had a listen in on the baby for about 40 mins to check that she was doing ok and she was fine the doctor came in and gave me an internal to see if my waters had actually gone and just as i thought they did i was put on antibiotics and was given steroids to help the babys lungs if she did come early...i had to stay in hospital for a week and was let home a week later but had to go to the hospital every 2 days for bloods to check for infection and they also listened in on the baby to see how she was doing. they gave me scans every week to check the fluid and the blood supply to the baby and everything was great i couldnt believe it we had done so well something had to go wrong it was all running to nicely.....i kept saying to everyone if i can get through christmas i will be the happiest mummy ever i was really looking forward to seeing my little boy open his presents we really wanted to make it a special day for him as it was going to be his last christmas on his own...well we never did get to see him open his presents.....on christmas morning when i woke up i thought to myself thats strange i normally wake with the baby kicking and she wasnt so went to the toilet and noticed i was bleeding i called to my oh and told him i think we had better go to the hospital i rang my mum and told her what had happened and she came and collected my little boy straight away. we arrived at the hospital and was put in a room straight away, the midwife came in to have a listen in on the baby but she found it quite hard to find a heartbeat there was one there but she wasnt to sure if it was mine or not so they called the doctor to come with a little scan machine to see if she could see a heartbeat she said she could see something but she wanted to get the consultant to have a look i think deep down inside we knew it was bad news the consultant came in and had a look and finally we was told the bad news our baby girl had died i will never forget how i felt at that moment it was like the whole world had fallen on me.
as i was all ready getting pains they had to give me a internal to see if i was dilating or not i was only 1.5cms so they induced me and i was told it could take up 8 hours., well that didnt happen a few hours later on the 25-12-2008 i gave birth to our little princess Daisy weighing 5lb 3oz.
it has been the worst time of my life she is in my thoughts in everything i do there isnt a moment that goes by when i dont think about her, i miss her so so much i just think why us we wanted her so much and she was taken from us i just wish she was given a chance in life to prove her self to everyone.
i hurt so much!!!!!!
sorry for the long post but i just needed to get it all out xx xx kat xx
im kat im 22 and here is my story........
when i was 19wks pregnant i was addmitted to hospital with premature rupture of the membrane and was told that we was going to loose the baby as it was to early on in the pregnancy for them to help, i had to stay in hospital for the weekend and had a scan on the tuesday where i was told that everything was fine and the fluid around the baby was normal this is when we was also told that we are going to have a girl we couldnt believe it we was so pleased as we all ready have a little boy. so as the next few weeks passed i started to feel a bit better and started to buy things for my little princess....then on the 1st of december it all went wrong again i was lying in bed when i felt a little trickle of water i remember thinking to myself oh no not again i went to the toilet and the same thing happened again so thought i had better phone my oh, he came home straight away and off we went to the hospital. they had a listen in on the baby for about 40 mins to check that she was doing ok and she was fine the doctor came in and gave me an internal to see if my waters had actually gone and just as i thought they did i was put on antibiotics and was given steroids to help the babys lungs if she did come early...i had to stay in hospital for a week and was let home a week later but had to go to the hospital every 2 days for bloods to check for infection and they also listened in on the baby to see how she was doing. they gave me scans every week to check the fluid and the blood supply to the baby and everything was great i couldnt believe it we had done so well something had to go wrong it was all running to nicely.....i kept saying to everyone if i can get through christmas i will be the happiest mummy ever i was really looking forward to seeing my little boy open his presents we really wanted to make it a special day for him as it was going to be his last christmas on his own...well we never did get to see him open his presents.....on christmas morning when i woke up i thought to myself thats strange i normally wake with the baby kicking and she wasnt so went to the toilet and noticed i was bleeding i called to my oh and told him i think we had better go to the hospital i rang my mum and told her what had happened and she came and collected my little boy straight away. we arrived at the hospital and was put in a room straight away, the midwife came in to have a listen in on the baby but she found it quite hard to find a heartbeat there was one there but she wasnt to sure if it was mine or not so they called the doctor to come with a little scan machine to see if she could see a heartbeat she said she could see something but she wanted to get the consultant to have a look i think deep down inside we knew it was bad news the consultant came in and had a look and finally we was told the bad news our baby girl had died i will never forget how i felt at that moment it was like the whole world had fallen on me.
as i was all ready getting pains they had to give me a internal to see if i was dilating or not i was only 1.5cms so they induced me and i was told it could take up 8 hours., well that didnt happen a few hours later on the 25-12-2008 i gave birth to our little princess Daisy weighing 5lb 3oz.
it has been the worst time of my life she is in my thoughts in everything i do there isnt a moment that goes by when i dont think about her, i miss her so so much i just think why us we wanted her so much and she was taken from us i just wish she was given a chance in life to prove her self to everyone.
i hurt so much!!!!!!
sorry for the long post but i just needed to get it all out xx xx kat xx
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Replies
i should imagine that you kept getting false hope- your waters breaking so early, then again, yet everything kept going until she eventually passed away when least expected. no day would ever be a good day for your baby to become an angel, but i suppose it was made even worse when you had your other little one at home waiting for Father Christmas, and you so wanted to be there with him.
sending you lots of hugs, and thinking of your little sleeping Daisy.
xxxxxxxxxxx
It was the worst day off our lives i remember thinking to my self some one will come and wake me up in a minute and tell me it was all just a very bad dream, you just never think thats its going to happen to you.
As for false hope i had so much of that which is why i found it hard to go out buying the baby things dont get me wrong i did buy all the pretty little dresses and little shoes for her she had so much i couldnt wait to dress her all up and make her look like a little princess i was so excited!!!! i never did buy my streliser or my buggy and i never did set her cot her up, was that all a sign telling me she was just never ment to be....we have got her funeral next thursday im really not looking forward to it i no its got to be done but in a away im clinging on to it as i feel it puts an end to it all and if it puts an end to it all then it puts an end to Daisy and i dont want that i dont want people to forget about my little angel!! xxx
[Modified by: kat_1986 on January 23, 2009 09:17 AM]
when i gave birth to Daisy i just felt numb really it was quite a quick labour only 3 hours so i was pleased about that any longer and i think i would of just gave up!!!!!
reasons to of why she died well they put it down to my waters going when i was 30wks they did ask if we wanted a autopsy done but we said no we just couldnt bare the thought of our little girl being sent away and cut up!!!!!!
My answer to it all is that i got an infection in my bloods. on christmas eve i was at the hospital having all the usual checks they was doin blood tests every 2 days to check for infection and the first sign of any sort of infection is your blood levels goin up,all way up to christmas eve my bloods was at a level 5 and when i went in to hospital on christmas day they told me that my blood results from the day before had gone up to a level 8....i thought this was the first sign of an infection i had no phone call to let me no my results or nothing so maybe just maybe if i had got that call to say about my bloods something could of been done and our little princess could be here with us now. xxx kat
[Modified by: kat_1986 on January 23, 2009 04:46 PM]
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of little Daisy. There are no words to offer that will take your pain away, but know that youv'e always got somewhere 'safe' to come if you need to chat, or rant or cry or whatever. No one understands more than other parents going through the same.
You must have so many questions running around your head, I know a couple of the other girls on here went to speak to their consultants after they lost their babies, do you think maybe that might help?
Big hugs to you Kat, take care of yourself and take things slowly.xx
I didn't realise how much I loved him until I lost him really. I am sorry for your loss as I know what you mean it has been 7 years and I still carry my baby's memory everywhere I go. I hope our babies are in heaven together playing and laughing and waiting for the day when we will be reunited with them.
All my love to you.
I feel so sad for you I just want to sccop you up and hug you and rescue you from your sadness because I know what the first year without them is like with its ups and downs. She was just so beautiful and perfect she had to go and be an angel to watch over you and your family instead of staying on Earth with you.
I send you the wish that your family has a better xmas next year and that eventually your feel up to having another little bundle of joy in your family.
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I can not even begin to imagine what you have been through or how you must feel. I hope that there is some way that you can find some comfort at the moment.
Lisa.
xxxxxxx
I wish you all the best for the future, I do hope things all work out for you.
Im sure the memory or your little one will stay with you forever and stay in a special place in your heart.
Take care, best wishes babe.
thank-you so much for your support and to those of you who have left a reply thank-you for not reading and running!!!
I no things will get better real soon so as hard as it is at the moment im holding my head high and trying to think happy thoughts of my little angel i no she is safe and in good hands and i no she will help guide me for the rest of my life.
Me and my oh are going to ttc again this year but are going to just take things slow and if it happens then it happens. we are NOT trying to replace Daisy that could NEVER be POSSIBLE,we just need to this for ourselves.
Thank-you all again so much Kat xx
Big hugsxx
Thanks for your reply.
Everyone has different feelings about ttc when you have just lost a little one but me and my other half no thats its what we need to do so fingerscrossed i it will all happen soon.
We have got our little Princesses funeral tomorrow so im off to the flower shop today to pick up her flowers we havent got allot just a small lot of daisys and one big baby pink flower , im not looking forward to tomorrow its going to be so so hard but at the end of it all we may feel a little bit better.
Hope everyone is keeping there chin up
xx Kat xx
Take really good care of yourself and do whatever feels right for you.
Massive big hugs to you all and I shall light a candle for your little Daisy so she will never be forgotten.
She'll have been met up there by lots of lovely Angels and will be getting lots of cuddles until she meets you again.xx
Sending you all hugs.xxxxxxxxxx
xx Kat xx
Thank-you every-one for your support and thank-you all for your thoughts today and to those of you who lite a candle for our princess Thanks again
Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and how strong you have been to get through the funeral xxxxxxx