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Hello
in Bereavement
Hello,
I didn't know how to say hello - so hope this is okay.
We lost of baby daughter on the 1st October 2009 at 24 weeks. She had been diagnosed with Interuterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) at the 21 week scan, we then had a traumatic few weeks trying to see the best experts money could buy before we found out she had died.
I have a horrific labour, which lasted 48 hours, India was born at 12.10pm on Thursday 1st October, and we held her for a while. By 1pm I was in Intensive Care having suffered massive heart failure.
I spent a week in intensive care on a ventilator, it was very touch and go for 48 hours. My poor poor husband had not only lost his beautiful desperatly wanted daughter but was on the brink of losing me as well.
I have now been diagnosed with a serious and rare heart condition which requires open heart surgery at some point in the near furture.
To top all of this we have also been told I must never carry another pregnancy. I would not survive a full term pregnancy.
We are receiving counselling at the moment but I simply don't know what to do. I am 33 years old this year and my husband is 40 this year. We would love a family so so much but everything has fallen apart.
We have briefly looked at gestational surrogacy (so baby would be 100% genetically ours) but feel it is far too soon at the moment to fill out all the forms. All we have ever wanted is to be a Mummy and Daddy, and we are to India, but will we ever get another chance.
I wondered whether it was a bad move to come onto this site again but I now feel not alone. I am so sorry to everyone who have lost their babies.
Love
Lanni
xxxxx
I didn't know how to say hello - so hope this is okay.
We lost of baby daughter on the 1st October 2009 at 24 weeks. She had been diagnosed with Interuterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) at the 21 week scan, we then had a traumatic few weeks trying to see the best experts money could buy before we found out she had died.
I have a horrific labour, which lasted 48 hours, India was born at 12.10pm on Thursday 1st October, and we held her for a while. By 1pm I was in Intensive Care having suffered massive heart failure.
I spent a week in intensive care on a ventilator, it was very touch and go for 48 hours. My poor poor husband had not only lost his beautiful desperatly wanted daughter but was on the brink of losing me as well.
I have now been diagnosed with a serious and rare heart condition which requires open heart surgery at some point in the near furture.
To top all of this we have also been told I must never carry another pregnancy. I would not survive a full term pregnancy.
We are receiving counselling at the moment but I simply don't know what to do. I am 33 years old this year and my husband is 40 this year. We would love a family so so much but everything has fallen apart.
We have briefly looked at gestational surrogacy (so baby would be 100% genetically ours) but feel it is far too soon at the moment to fill out all the forms. All we have ever wanted is to be a Mummy and Daddy, and we are to India, but will we ever get another chance.
I wondered whether it was a bad move to come onto this site again but I now feel not alone. I am so sorry to everyone who have lost their babies.
Love
Lanni
xxxxx
0
Replies
I'm so sorry for your loss, everything you've been through sounds so awful, you must be an incredibly strong person to have gone through everything you have.
I lost my son at 27 weeks on the 19th September 09, but i have not encountered any of the problems you have come up against.
All of the ladies in this group have been through a similar loss to you and are lovely. We're all here to listen if you need to get anything off your chest.
I hope things are getting easier for you each day and i do think that surrogacy would be a good route to go down when you and your husband are ready to take the next step.
Take care
Jackie xx
[Modified by: dotty1977 on January 13, 2010 06:44 PM]
Hi lanni,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss and so very sorry for your additional loss of being told 'no more'. I can only begin to imagine the terrible turmoil you are going through and even that I know won't come close to how you are truly feeling. India is such a beautiful name.
I am w4b and lost my little girl (we called her Angel) sept09 at 20weeks pregnant, it's the worst thing I have ever been through but no reasons were given for why. I am very fortunate in that I have fallen pregnant again quite quickly but it is early days for me and im full of panic obviously.
You've certainly had your strength tested in the last few months and I'm really pleased that you feel you can come on here and talk to us, there's lots of lovely ladies in here and I know it has helped me a lot being on here so hope it helps you too.
Good luck with your surgery, have you been given dates? I know you will have an over whelming need/want to have a child right now but it sounds like it would be good for you to concentrate on yourself for a while.????
I know it is easier for me to say this as an outsider but I hope it's not offended you.
I think it's great you are looking into other options to become parents, have you checked that there is nothing in your genetics for either your heart or even for your little girl's condition? ????-no need for reply, sorry if that sounds rude, I'm not sure how to word it. I haven't ever looked into surrogacy but I have heard it is a lot easier to get surrogates prepared to use their eggs and you donate the sperm as there are a lot less complications involved. Are you also looking into adoption? I know we all want to be able to make our own babies in an ideal world but there are so many ways to make a family now I think it's wonderful and I really hope you find and succeed in a way that makes you feel complete. Really wishing you all the best and again I am so sorry for your losses. Take care X????
I'm so sorry for your loss! Your not alone...we are all here for you if you need us. I lost quads (4 girls) is August at 21 weeks.
What a pretty name you gave her. Have you thought about going to your local SANDs group? I did in November & felt like someone switched a light on in the darkness. The others all knew what I had gone through, it really helped
We lost our daughter at 38 weeks after I suffered a placental abruption. I hope you are coping okay and recieving the support you need. You are in my thoughts xxx