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I miss my baby girl ;-(

hi guys, sorry to post such a 'downer' topic at this cheery time of year but im struggiling. All i have been able to thik about throughout the christmas period is' oh this time last year i was getting really big' or 'oh this time last year i was so excited', this time last year we ordered pram etc etc. Its so unfair and makes me so angry that this year wasnt our first christmas together as a family, the three of us.

I know people care but i just feel like nobody does anymore, i just wish someone would say 'how are you both feeling, it must be hard' but nobody has. we had a 'fake' christmas at our friends house on christmas eve and i really enjoyed it, it was hard though, they have a little girl a few weeks younger than Darcey should be.... im just having a moan. Even after i came to terms that Darcey wasnt going to be here this christmas or any other i thought by now atleaset i would be a little bit pregnant. but im not ;-(. im just feeling a bit down, the one and only thing ive ever wanted is to be a mum, and for some reason its just not happening for us. People fall pregnany every day even when thats the last thing they want, people abort there babies because its an 'un convienant' (sp?) time. Why cant i just have my babies, its so annoying!

I have been told by a phscic that a birth will be concieved over the christmas period eather my me or very close family member, and that i will fullfill a life time ambition so i hopeing and praying that the birth concieved will be by mine but i just dont know what to believe. I went to the guy hoping to hear something about Darcey, to know she is ok, and knows i love and miss her but he didnt mention her or the baby i lost. so i was a bit dissapointed tbh. Anyway ive gone totally of track...

hope you all had a nice christmas, lots of luck for the new year. Big kisses to all our angels xxx

Replies

  • Hey you, I don't think you need to apologise, it's not been a cheery time of year for any of us this time around and it's totally understandable for you to be feeling low. Darcey will never be forgotton by her mummy or daddy and it's those people above all else who really matter. It is hard noone else acknowledging our little angels but it's taboo and so we hold them in our hearts. Darcey is loved and she's ok and you will be too. Look after yourself and take care. I know there seems to be no justice in the world with children but you've got to believe she was chosen for the right reasons (i know it's the only way I go on) wishing you a really positive, joyous 2010 x
  • I know its hard. I hope 2010 is a better year for us all x
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