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6 months today
Well just wanted to get a few feelings down charlie would of been 6 months old today and time has mived so quick but in my heart time has stood still , i miss him more every day he would be doing so much now and some times i just feel like it just so unfair , my poor baby boy taken from me , also i ahve to try and cope with being 5 months pg which is also so hard to grieve and be happy at the same time ,
i've decided now to have some councilling as i'm having lots of flash backs which i tyhink i need to sort in my head before new baby comes ,
i had my 20 wk scan last wk and all is good with baby , hubby asked what it was and they said it was a GIRL !!!!! i'm still in totall shock after 3 boys didnt think i could have girls my midwife thinks its a blessing as maybe a boy would always live un charlies shadow , and thats not fair , then i felt really guilty for charlie as we was so happy after the scan that i felt like i was forgetting him ,
but my sister said that this baby derserves us to be happy about it too as charlie did , but its so hard my head is up my arse most of the time , anyway just wanted to say i'm sad today charlie i miss u so much love u always baby boy x mummy xxxx
i've decided now to have some councilling as i'm having lots of flash backs which i tyhink i need to sort in my head before new baby comes ,
i had my 20 wk scan last wk and all is good with baby , hubby asked what it was and they said it was a GIRL !!!!! i'm still in totall shock after 3 boys didnt think i could have girls my midwife thinks its a blessing as maybe a boy would always live un charlies shadow , and thats not fair , then i felt really guilty for charlie as we was so happy after the scan that i felt like i was forgetting him ,
but my sister said that this baby derserves us to be happy about it too as charlie did , but its so hard my head is up my arse most of the time , anyway just wanted to say i'm sad today charlie i miss u so much love u always baby boy x mummy xxxx
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well first congrats on littler girl how lovely...
dont feel guilty charlie wouldnt want u feeling like that its ok to be happy...i know exactly how u feel tho, i am 29 weeks now and i feel guilty to be exited or happy to, i lost a girl and am now having a boy.. people to me have said the same that its good its a different sex.
birthdays and anniversarys are hard.
im glad u r going to get sum counselling if u feel u need it flashbacks are terrible i have a deoderant that i was wearing the week i was in hospital and if i use the same one now all memories cum flooding back its like im right there the smell just triggers it...... in a wierd wierd way i kinda like it??... that makes me sound crazy!
keep us updated and take care
Lisaxx
Counselling sounds like a good idea, it is something i have thought about but OH isnt keen so i will see how things go. Sorry to her you have been struggiling with grief for Charlie, I guess you are right and have to try and focus now on your new baby but dont feel quilty, You should think about Charlie as often as you like, Your new baby girl is not replacing Charlie in anyway. He will always be your little boy. Take care missy! xxx
Congratulations on your baby being a girl.....its wonderful news x
I am so sorry for your loss and know how difficult it is to cope with a new pregnancy after losing a baby. My baby boy Ryan was stillborn at 37 wks back in Septrember. I have never had any counselling myself but often think about it. If you go ahead hope you let us know if it helps u at all.
Take care, Luv Kathryn xx
Just wanted to say congrats on having a little girl. I totally understand how you feel. I'm coming up to 6 months now and with my hormones being all over the place I keep having tearful moments, usually when i'm on my own as I know how to put up a front to people. I just say a little thank you to my little Ewan every few days for sending me the babies i'm carrying now. It's hard to think this way but if Charlie and Ewan were here we wouldn't be carrying the babies we are now and who knows how much joy these little ones are going to bring into our lives. We'll never forget their big brothers though, they will always be a part of us. Hope you're feeling better soon and getting rounder by the day xx