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bad bf habits - help please

I need some advice - please! I seem to have created the worst habits without even realising.

my 11wk lo - max - falls asleep whilst feeding. It wasn't a nightmare as he was gaining weight and we just ended up feeding twice as much timewise. so all was well and he is a big baby.

Then I tried to create a daytime bed routine - in his cot with the dummy to learn how to sleep there - so now he cannot sleep without the dummy in his mouth and I have to run up and down evey five minutes to replace the dummy.

At the same time I introduced a bottle for the nightime feed so he got used to bottles for granny/dh to do and my milk supply reduced dramatically. He is a snacker at the best of time which doesn't help so I only create the amount he ate last time which could haev been little. He is 91/94st centile and weighs 16IB at 11 wks which is huge but I have no idea where the weight comes from.

So I visit the mw who says he is only waking for his dummy at 3am not a feed - bad habit... Due to his snacking he is never sufficiently full and therefore waking lots. Should be sleep through given how big his tum is. But now he will not settle or relax at night without feed from me!

I have no idea how to sort any of it. Can;t settle him without a dummy during the day and then he only sleeps for 30 mins - can;t settle him at night without feeding from me.

Any one else have these problems??? Am I expecting too much? alex x

Replies

  • Hi,

    I have bad habits of my own........main one is that I let Louise sleep on my lap during the day - she hated being put in her moses basket and so has always slept on us when she can get away with it! Louise is 22 weeks (23 on sat) Night times for us are very unpredictable dispite having a good bedtime routine.

    As for the feeding so sleep - yep, I've done this too, my lo is feeding right now and she'll prob fall asleep on me though doesnt always need feeding to get to sleep now.

    I am really surprised that your hv said that he is waking at 3am out of habit and doesn't need feeding - at 11 weeks louise was waking for 2/3 feeds at night and is still waking for 1, sometimes 2 feeds. Breast milk digests more quickly so bf babies tend to take longer to sleep through. With Louise, when she wakes in the night we offer her her dummy, if she takes it she's not hungry, if she wont then I feed her.

    To get louise to learn to settle herself in her cot at bedtime (no dummy either) I used to feed her until she was to asleep to take anymore while she was only wearing her nappy (I would put a blanket over her if cold) and then I would dress her which would stir her so that her eyes were open when put in cot. As she's became a more efficient feeder she wouldn't nessessarily feed her self to sleep, we would put her in the cot and she'd settle herself - and still does.

    Unfortunately when I put her in her cot during the day 9 times out of 10 she wont settle or if already asleep she'll wake and then be really happy and energetic. I'd then end up with an overtired grotty baby. She tends to, and has always tended to have 30 minute naps during the day.

    As for the daytime naps, how long do you let him cry for? You could try waiting a little each time so he doesn't get an immeadiate response and maybe he'll hive up crying for you each time and will just setttle himself?

    Sorry, I'm not sure i've been very helpful, but still waking for a feed at 11 weeks is very normal. I was told that babies tummy's are not big enough to hold enough food to get them through the night until at least 12 weeks! Oh, and feeding at night is good for you too, as breastfeeding releases a hormone in your body that will help you get back to sleep quickly after you've fed him!
  • DONT PANIC!!! honestly, someone told me that nothing before 3 months is habit forming and its true, nothing is set in stone and you are in plenty of time to sort things that are worrying you out...

    i agree about the night feed, it is normal to still be waking at that age! ella is 15 weeks and still wakes at 4 for a feed, and its always a full feed so i know its hunger not habit. they'll sleep through when they're ready,

    after you feed lo, give him a good wind so he wakes slightly and then it him down, so he's sleepy but not asleep, then he'll learn to put himself to the final bit!

    as for the snacking, how do you feel about trying to just feed him every three hours, not completely rigidly half hour more fine but it doesn't take them long to get out of snacking... can be hard for you but distract him, take him for walks, sing to him etc. Ella was a snacker coz I used to put her on the boob everytime she made a noise but it only took a day to get her out of that- and it was getting me out of it more than her!!

    but honestly don't stress too much, they keep changing all the time!

    anyway you sound like a very loving, caring and thoughtful mum and you're lo is very lucky!
    xxx
  • thanks for the advice. I'm going to try the winding to wake him a little as he doesn't honestly have much wind at all. If it doesn't work then the dressing thing will begin.

    snacking is a pain as it has interferred with my milk production. so i am on the case as it breaks my heart when he looks like he needs more... I think everyone in my family needs to stop suggesting he is hunger when he cries too! But I have to say giving him a 7oz bottle has not made any difference to his sleeping at all!

    Dummies are a life saver but I will try and re-train him out of sleeping with it. I see some serious sleepless nights ahead again! Poor babe.

    Hope he just learns to relax again properly.

    thanks for all xx
  • i know your lo is a big baby but i think its alot to ask for a lo of only 11 weeks to go through the night.Do you give a dream feed at all?when grace was this age shed go to bed at 6pm and then id lift her to give her a bf at 10.30 when i went to bed and shed then sleep thru the night.I did this until she was on 3 solid meals a day at about 5 mths and then dropped it.Habits can be broken at any age but its not always easy!sorry if i havent been much help or if iv repeated whet anyone else has said as iv not read all posts!! xxx
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