almost gave up last night

xJellytotsx · Jun 22, 2010 12:55PM

wow this is really, really hard! Have struggled since lo was born a week and a half ago to get a latch and then to get a good latch. He's not sleeping well at night and I'm exhausted. I've now had mastitis twice

anyone got any tips to get me through? he just seems to cry all the time when awake and I'm beginning to feel that my determination to keep breast feeding is ruining his first few weeks of life

We had a super midwife today who really helped and I'm carrying on for now but the tiredness is so overcoming!

Peony1980 · Jun 21, 2010 10:53AM

I wish people would tell you about how hard BF really is! I think they don't want to scare you off so claim you'll take to it like a duck to water, but certainly for us the first few weeks were very hard.

We also suffered with a bad latch and after a couple of weeks I had to grit my teeth at the start of every feed, then each feed would be an hour - every other hour! But, lo is now nearly 10 months and she is still BF. It really does get easier I promise.

In terms of the latch, practice will make perfect and use lots of lansinoh in the meantime! Always do tummy to tummy, nose to nipple, and I found it helped to pull back on the skin above my nipple so it was pointing at roof of babys mouth as she latched on.

The night times can be so hard when its only you that can do the feeds -I used to go to sleep on the sofa for an hour in the evening while dh held her between feeds which helped a bit. And I did let her sleep with me quite a lot in the first month. We had a snugglenest which can be used in your bed, then we put that in her crib too and she slept much better. Also do you swaddle? my baby liked to be swaddled pretty much all the time! I used a muslin swaddler so she didn't get too hot.

If its important to you to breastfeed, try and give it another couple of weeks. You are not ruining his life, you are giving him the best start and when you are over the hard part each feed will be relaxing and enjoyable for you both.

Good luck

xJellytotsx · Jun 21, 2010 1:05PM

thank you peony, that is so the kind of post I needed to hear, he is feeding so often that I was beginning to think he was getting nothing, or just a little. It is so important to me and my hubby has been so incredibly supportive (again the guilt) but your story sounds sooo similar to ours. Thank you again xxx

Phoenix_05 · Jun 21, 2010 5:39PM

Your story brings back memories! When my lo was born I felt like I was permanently chained to the sofa with my boobs out. He fed every 2 hours for about 45 mins a time. In between feeds he'd poo so would need changing, and if I put him down he'd scream. I had no time to take breath, and dreaded nights because he wanted to comfort feed all the time. My husband slept in a different room so I did everything myself. If I hadn't been so committed to bf I may well have given up.

Now my lo is 14 weeks, feeds every 4 hours during the day, and sleeps from 8.30pm-7am at night without wanting a feed. He will amuse himself for a while so I can get on with stuff, and life is so much easier.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it WILL get easier given time. Right now your lo is getting over being born, has a teeny stomach so needs frequent small meals, and, while you've read all the books on bf, he hasn't so its so new to him. Peony gives great advice on how to get a good latch. I used to dread feeds for the first few days, now I live for feeds!

Give yourself a little more time. You're doing a good job xx

Leah102 · Jun 21, 2010 6:42PM

Hey Jellytots- I'm not far in front of you..
Was in due in June but Poppy came early!
I too wish people had told me how hard breastfeeding
is.. There is soo much pressure on you ad a mummy
during a very emotional time at the begining!
Not only have u got to get your latch right..you've also
got the tiredness to deal with, the fact that u are
their only feeder and that the HV continue to tell
u "to eat well and sleep lots" which is impossible
with a newborn!

Trust me I've been at exsactly the same stage as u
and what u will find is when LO is going through
a growth spurt you will end up feeding every hour
or so.. Which tortures your nipples and gets you very
tired and down... But this only last 2days or so then it
will go back to normal!

During the growth spurts is my worst time... And
I even went out and brought formula... When I
was at my wits end! But if you are really determind
to BF...keep going as just as u get to that "I can't
do this anymore"feeling, LO turns a corner and u
have a great day feeding.
Poppys 5weeks now... And although I'm still
struggling with sore nipples etc is definatly is
getting better... Tomo maybe another bad day..
But then the next maybe better!
Take each day as it comes honey!
I'm always here to chat! X

Leah102 · Jun 21, 2010 6:49PM

Oh and latch wise... I thought I had the latch all wrong
and was getting stressed about it.. So we went to a
breastfeeding drop-in place at my hospital and they watched
me feed her..weighed her etc and said that everything
was fine..even though I'd convinced myself that I was
doing it wrong!
Sometimes you just need someone,who knows
what they are talking about to watch and tell you that
you are doing it fine!
I'm sure there will be one near you?? Maybe at the
place u get baby weighed or Surestart place?
I would go along...just for advice and reassurance
really.. I had the latch right..but picked up some tips
on holding her during breastfeeding which really helped!
u that you're doing it right

Sugarcube · Jun 22, 2010 4:22AM

i was exactly the same i rang my friend in tears she said to feed the baby get my oh to take him out in the car/pram for an hour so i could have a break. Its amazing how much better you feel after a little time out.

It does get easier my lo is 12 weeks and sleeps from 11 to 7 feeds are all over the place during the day but its pain free and enjoyable!! Its so easy to go out and about just baby in car seat and go. I started expressing at about 3 weeks after every feed to increase my supply and now i express first thing so lo can have bottle of ebm at night while i have a bath tidy etc.

I cant really offer any advice about latch as i never had any problems apart from 1 sore nipple in the first week .

Take one day at a time im so glad im bfing now as lo is teething and i have something that always soothes him i would hate to be bottlefeeding at the minute we took him to a party the other night and gave him a bottle and he wouldnt settle i had to bf him that showed the family members who love to tell me bf babies dont settle!!!

Peony1980 · Jun 22, 2010 5:15AM

I was the same as sillysausage, dd had only put on a few oz by 5 weeks so I convinced myself I wasn't feeding her properly and she was starving to death. My HV came round and said although our latch wasn't perfect it was getting there and that really helped me relax. She soon starting putting on a lb a week and I was very proud of myself! She is now well over the 99.6th centile and weighs about 2 stone so she clearly isn't starving!!

One more thing I will say is just relax and go with it - your baby knows what he needs. You will probably be trapped on the sofa most of the day for a while so just watch some rubbish telly and enjoy the snuggles - I wish I had as I can't even catch my baby most of the time now let alone get a cuddle!

LOOBYLOU81 · Jun 22, 2010 7:46AM

Silly sausage I could have written that myself, ALana is 4 wks old and like you just as you feel like giving up we turn another corner and things seem better. In the early days I was takeing it one feed at a time, and each time the next feed was better I would carry on for another feed, then Id have a bad feed but would see how we got on with her next feed, thankfully this kept me going and we are still battling along. My nipples seem to be very sore again and it still takes a minimum of 3 tries to latch on but half of me wonders if that is just me panicing im not doing it right and this is what is makin me sore so im trying harder to stop faffing LOL

Also I found even napping for half an hour between feeds during the day really helped me feel less tired at night .
How are you feeling now jellytots?

xJellytotsx · Jun 22, 2010 12:20PM

wow, it's so heart-warming to have all these replies, who knew it would be so hard! Unfortunately as I live in Scotland we don't have surestart but had the same community midwife since Saturday and she has helped me round another corner each day.

Lo slept better last night,as did daddy and I, so I'm in a better frame of mind. My nipples are killing me but we are getting there I think. Was nervous that he wasn't getting enough milk but he is not up to 6lb 14 from his birthweight of 6lb11 so its just getting my boobs clear of the mastitis and the agony of my nipples, and hopefully we'll get there. Like you say lou, its been one feed at a time. I'm glad we've kept going as he is obviously being well fed thank goodness! Good luck to all and well done to anyone that breastfeeds - its a hard job! xx

LOOBYLOU81 · Jun 22, 2010 12:55PM

Well done for hanging on in there Jellytots, you are brilliant for working throught it and so right about it being tough.
Cold tea bags in my bra brought some relief to my nipples (got this tip out of my pregnancy book) and cold savoy cabbage leaves helped when I had engorged boobs too (i froze mine and just put it on for half an hour between feeds), but my goodness the cabbage stinks after half an hour down ya bra LOL

almost gave up last night

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