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to breastfeed or not to breastfeed????

hi im 21 weeks with first baby, but am really worried about the whole breastfeeding vs. formula thing.
it basically because im going to be a full time stay at home mum and really wanted to breastfeed when baby comes but then people have to go and say things and make to think about things get me?

i personnally think breastfeeding is the best thing for a newborn rather than formula but i understand many women cant or choose not to breastfeed for many reasons. and obviously that completely their decision.

BASICALLY I WAS TOLD THAT IT MAKES THE CHILD TOO ATTACHED TO THE MOTHER AND BONDING BETWEEN FATHER AND CHILS CAN BE AFFECTED,also i was at an antenatal group thing and one women said she choose not to breastfeed this baby as last wouldnt stop trying to get at breast when they were nearly three? Could that happen or is because the mother didnt wean them off properly.

Also befre i got preg i used to take vitamin to replace a lot of food as i csnt manage big meals or sometimes much food at all, two teaspoons of veg and im full basically. and i was thinking if my diet is very bad and i depend on vitamins to supply vital hellp for my body would my baby be better off on formula from day one?

sorry but im completely clueless on this subject, no mum to ask unfortunately on me or OH side so grateful for any advice. and step mum just said to follow heart which is great but not when its tied in knots.lol

Replies

  • Hiya
    I don't really have an answer as like you I will be a mum for the first time. Right now I don't think I want to breastfeed, there isn't any 'major' reason for this, just something about me that makes me not want to do it at this moment. I can't explain it and don't expect people to understand.I might change my mind the nearer it gets to having the baby tho! I think if you want to try it then try it. It is totally how you feel. My hubby doesn't mind what I do as long as me and the baby are happy. Remember it doens't matter what other people tell you/say to you or whatever, it is your body and your baby and if you do what feels right then I'm sure it will be fine. Sorry for the ramble and I hope I have made sense!
  • I think that you have to go with what seems right to you and ignore all the well meaning 'advice' (difficult I know!)

    In answer to your questions I personally didn't find that it affected the bond between MIllie and her dad at all, at the end of the day if you are at home all day then when they are tiny they are going to be more attached to you because you are providing all their care. This soon changes as they get older, Millie goes through phases of noticably prefering her dad to me!

    I think that the contstant pestering from the 3 year old could easily have been caused by late weaning (not that there is anything wrong with that) or lack of boundries. Millie weaned herself before she was a year so its certainly not a problem I have had personally. She is fascinated by my breasts (she is 18 months now) but more in a poking them to see what happens kind of a way, and not normally in public!

    I also don't have the best of diets, I eat like a horse but I don't like veg at all and don't eat vast quantities of fruit so I am sure I am missing quite alot of nutrients. I found I was even hungrier when I was breastfeeding so you may find that your appetite increases.

    At the end of the day, if you are at all unsure then I would definately try to breastfeed, at least to start with. You have lost nothing if you decide that it is not for you and switch to formula, but it is almost impossible to switch the other way.

    Good luck with whatever you decide, Kerry
  • it makes me mad when other people being negative influences peoples decisions. im a normal mum (23) to 2 not abreastfeeding hippy like some people imagine us to be and i am just doing whats normal, natural and right for my baby. i dont start lecturing people when they choose to bottle feed. i could quite easily judge them as there a far more problem with bottle feeding, the poor little things get consapated and all sorts. its very rare that they cant actually feed its normally lack of understanding and lack of support and they are just trying to make them selves feel better about there decisions by slating brestfeeding. at the end of the day you need to do what your comfortable with. but breast is best and dont let any one tell you other wise. as for eating you do need to eat quite well but you will naturally get hungrier and the women in 3rd world countries cope so dont panic.


    good luck, sian


    [Modified by: siandonna on February 24, 2008 09:02 PM]

  • Hi
    Its a real difficult one this - I tried to b/f my 1st baby and we just didn't get on with it.I think because I had a c-section and lack of support from my midwife I got so stressed about it that I switched to formula and my son was fine with it.Now he is a very healthy 6 year old .

    When I had my 2nd I thought I would a least just give it a go and see what happened.It was a completly different story my baby latched on really well so I just carried on with it and we have been breastfeeding for 8 months now.
    I think maybe that giving it a go and see what happens maybe a good option.Even if baby just gets the colustrum then thats a good thing.

    You could do a bit of research on the internet found out as much info as you can because sometimes the midwifes can be so busy on the post natal ward they don't have the time to spend with you.
    I looked at the webiste www.breastfeeding.co.uk as lots of Q&As on there.

    I really don't think that b/f makes any difference re bonding with dad.As
    bedhead said after oh is back at work you are with baby all day so they do love there mamas loads but that soon changes as they get older.

    Best of luck with it all
    xxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi I agree with the others so won't repeat what they have said apart from Bedheads point that it is definately worth trying to breastfeed at the start as baby will benefit hugely from the colostrum and if you start with formula your milk will dry up and you won't be able to breastfeed.

    I have breastfed all 3 of mine and hubby does the baby massage and evening bath with them which they both enjoy and is their special time. My lo definately prefers daddy after having me all day and her face lights up as soon as he comes in (as it also does when her big brothers come out of school).

    My advice is always to get as much support as you can and know where to get it from before you have lo as the main reason women stop breastfeeding is from lack of support (baby may not be feeding well due to poor positioning and there is no-one to help with positioning ...)
    Hope everything works out xx
  • im 27 weeks with my first,and i now have decided, after weeks off being unsure, that i am going to breast feed even if its for a day,a week or months, im gonna give it a go and make a desion from there. but im also bearing in mind that it takes time and practice to get postioning right. xxxx

  • That is great hayleyspirit and taking it one day at a time is also great as you are not putting too much pressure on yourself. Your lo will benefit from anything you are able to give her especially that all important colostrum.
    You never know, you might be able to do it without any problems at all - I have plenty of friends who have managed without any problems who I have always envied!

    Don't forget we are here if you need us! xx
  • i think ill be giving it ago, as id love for it to work, and to enjoy the bonding.if it doesnt then it doesnt. but i hope for the best, id really like to, i dont know why it just sounds like the right thing for me. but we will se if me and baby can do it, if not there are other ways to bond i guess.
    thanks for your help btw, you have been great.
    sarah xx21wks
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