🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
please keep me going!
Hi girls, well I'm having a rather teary moment, Fin is 3weeks old and we've never found breastfeeding particularly easy, but the number of times I'm thinking "ok I'm guna give it up now" is on the rise, I'm struggling and finding it very frustrating.
for the first couple of weeks I had loads of milk, and a fifteen minute feed on one side could knock him out for a good 2-3hours. This last week though (he's 3weeks old tomorrow) he's been so unsettled, feeding for a lot longer and sleeping for shorter periods, and even whilst asleep he's tossing and turning, randomly crying and seems unsettled.
The last two days fin has fed from one side for about 20mins, then still rooting, so he'll go on the other side and drain that one, and still is wanting more. by this point my boobs are completely soft and i can tell theres very little in there, so i've had to top him up with formula. This in itself is very upsetting and demotavating. Also, most annoyingly, he's a very sicky baby, and can be so greedy like this, then puke it all up, then 10mins later be rooting for more. It's proving very difficult to find a happy medium.
Another frustration is getting him latched on. I'm using nipple shields (which is a pain, but without them we'd not be BF at all) and Fin seems to do what I call "the booby dance" where my nipple (nice big plastic one in our case!) can be literally in his mouth... but rather than clamping down and sucking, he holds his mouth wide open and shakes his head from side to side like crazy as though he can't find it. Him and I both get tense and frustrated no matter how calm I try to stay. Sometimes it can take upto 5-10mins for him to get latched. It's usually at this point, nipple in mouth but Fin trying to shove his fists in to chomp on instead.. that I find myself saying "well it's guna be bottles for you if you're guna reject the boob" and I really do get upset. Why does he do this? Is it normal?
To top it off I've got mastits on one side at the minute which has floored me, Hubby has had to stay off work to look after me and the kids as I can barely stand, I've had a fever and flu like symptoms with it and it's knocked me for six.
running very rapidly out of desire and motivation to BF
please help!
linzi and fin 3weeks
xxx
for the first couple of weeks I had loads of milk, and a fifteen minute feed on one side could knock him out for a good 2-3hours. This last week though (he's 3weeks old tomorrow) he's been so unsettled, feeding for a lot longer and sleeping for shorter periods, and even whilst asleep he's tossing and turning, randomly crying and seems unsettled.
The last two days fin has fed from one side for about 20mins, then still rooting, so he'll go on the other side and drain that one, and still is wanting more. by this point my boobs are completely soft and i can tell theres very little in there, so i've had to top him up with formula. This in itself is very upsetting and demotavating. Also, most annoyingly, he's a very sicky baby, and can be so greedy like this, then puke it all up, then 10mins later be rooting for more. It's proving very difficult to find a happy medium.
Another frustration is getting him latched on. I'm using nipple shields (which is a pain, but without them we'd not be BF at all) and Fin seems to do what I call "the booby dance" where my nipple (nice big plastic one in our case!) can be literally in his mouth... but rather than clamping down and sucking, he holds his mouth wide open and shakes his head from side to side like crazy as though he can't find it. Him and I both get tense and frustrated no matter how calm I try to stay. Sometimes it can take upto 5-10mins for him to get latched. It's usually at this point, nipple in mouth but Fin trying to shove his fists in to chomp on instead.. that I find myself saying "well it's guna be bottles for you if you're guna reject the boob" and I really do get upset. Why does he do this? Is it normal?
To top it off I've got mastits on one side at the minute which has floored me, Hubby has had to stay off work to look after me and the kids as I can barely stand, I've had a fever and flu like symptoms with it and it's knocked me for six.
running very rapidly out of desire and motivation to BF
please help!linzi and fin 3weeks
xxx
0
Replies
Have you thought about switching to expressing? When I had mastitis in my left breast I switched to expressing for a whole week! It helped me heal even though sterilising is a pain but at least she's still getting breastmilk! I had to top up with formula on day 3 and felt like the worlds worst mum but it's to help them and so many mums have to do it!
It's so hard when you don't feel like you are turning a corner, do you have Home Start in your area?? It is a fab service and I had a volunteer come out to see me and it helped soooooooo much!!! That morning I was sobbing saying to Sophia 'I'm sorry I can't feed you any more', since then I have been breastfeeding and it's going 100% better!!!
Take care, it's hard, it really is, you are not alone but seek the support and with any luck you will get the result that you want xxxx
Lyns and Sophia (3 weeks) xxx
I just wanted to say that even it feels like he is feeding on a very soft, empty boob - just let him keep on feeding. He will be getting the richer, fatty hind milk which is what will fill him up for longer. This is what my mw called the 'dessert' milk - and is the most nutritious.
Babies will all go through these phases of seeming unsettled, whether they are bf or ff - it's v unlikely that he isn't getting enough milk from you. Keep it up - you've come this far.
xx
I hate the booby dance!!! could you try holding his head and pushing it onto the nipple to help him? but it stops once they learn. I had terrible trouble with latching lo and we would have 10-15 minute screaming matches trying to get latched. I resorted to wrapping him in a sheet to stop him putting his fists in his mouth!! He has now learnt to latch beautifully but it took weeks. I'll not bother you with our troubles but we have been through alot but 11 weeks later its going well and I can hardly remember the awful times, and I'm glad every day that we got through them, and that I'm not having to sterilise or lug bottles everywhere we go, and that I know I've managed to make my boy grow
Mrs it is a very tough job that you are doing and you are doing it very well, good on you xx
Do you have a bf group near where you live? I think once you're feeling better from the mastitis you should get yourself to one, it'll help you loads. I know you live fairly close to me - I run one in Stanley with 3 other ladies on a wednesday at the sure start. Could you get to that one? I'd love to be able to help you in person!
The fact your boobs are soft doesn't mean there's no milk for fin. I've just written about this in Leigh's post - have a look in there for a little help! xxx
*edited to say - you're doing a fantastic job, you've got this far already, why give up now!!
[Modified by: Tequila79 on August 28, 2010 10:40 PM]
I love the expression booby dance.. explains it really well. lol
anyway, I found my children did the booby dance when they were tired and not actually hungry. I put a dummy in or even my little finger and sure enough they would drop off. If he does it when you know he is hungry try expressing a little milk onto your finger and putting it on the nipple shield so he knows he is in the right place, He might not be able to smell your milk through the shield but if you put a drop of milk on he will soon latch on.
I think getting to a support group is a great idea. Like joining any new group it is daunting but everyone there will be going through the same sort of problems and you will find it a great relief to discuss these.
Growth spurts are hard to cope with but the sense of acheivement you get when you get your baby weighed and know you did it all yourself is amazing.
You are doing so well to get this far as the first weeks are the hardest.
d xx
The booby dance!! I know it well, Riley has started to do this too (he's 5 weeks). I share your frustration. Keep persevering - your doing an amazing job, eventually it'll settle down (that's what I'm telling myself!) Apparently 6 weeks is a turning point!
I've been going to a breastfeeding support group for the past 3 weeks now, it has been an absolute lifesaver! I've met a lovely group of women - really supportive and encouraging, it's nice to know your not the only one going through this. I always feel so much better after the group.
xxx