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I feel i need to vent.
Hi everyone ive never been on this forum before as i didnt bf my lo, and i feel it has become a problem, i only tried bf once just after lo was born but was so emotional after long labour that when a nusre shoved her hand down my top to massage my boob i broke down in tears, and i never tried again because i think i was a bit scared by the nurse invading me like that. Trouble is still 9 months on i really regret not trying again to bf him, I feel like i wasted all that goodness. Hes a perfectly happy healthy baby but this is just niggling me. We are not planning on having another for at least a couple of years but im really going to try with the next one.
I watched "other peoples breast milk" last week and i have to say it didnt wierd me out at all, i found it really lovely that woman share thier milk and i saw it as very natural, which made me even more sad that i didnt bf harri.
Sorry for the rant just felt that i needed to talk about it, any thoughts, opinions or experiences would be great, might help me come to terms with it a bit more.xxxxxx
I watched "other peoples breast milk" last week and i have to say it didnt wierd me out at all, i found it really lovely that woman share thier milk and i saw it as very natural, which made me even more sad that i didnt bf harri.
Sorry for the rant just felt that i needed to talk about it, any thoughts, opinions or experiences would be great, might help me come to terms with it a bit more.xxxxxx
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Replies
Don't feel guilty - you've brought up a happy healthy little boy and that all that matters! I understand it might niggle you, I felt the same after having to stop bf my 1st baby due to having to go back to uni. But I just thought of all the positive things I've done...Brought a human being into the world and she was loved and very well cared for.
As you've said...that wasn't your one and only chance to bf...you will always have the opportunity to have another baby! And next time you'll be more focused and determined, like I was and I've been feeding for just over 3 months now ;\)
Please don't feel guilty about not b/f.It just didn't work out for you the first time around and I was the same after my 1st baby.I ended up having a emergency c-sect and my son just wouldn't latch on and I had about 3 days of hell with him screaming and not getting any milk.So I gave him a bottle after no help at all from my midwife.I felt so guilty and thought I could of done something to make it all work.My son developed terrible excema and it compounded my guilt.I have to say that I was lucky and no one made me feel guilty about it apart from myself.
Anyway when I had my 2nd I was so determined to breastfeed.I read a couple of books and looked on the internet etc .I didnt have a c-sect which helped and my little girl just seemed to latch on so well - it was such a different experience.You may find that when you have another baby - it may work out better you just don't know.
So what I am trying to say is that different births and different babies can make the difference between success.Don't beat yourself up about something that didn't happen just think about all the love and hard work you have put into your baby - that is enough.Us mums are just so good at looking at all the things we don't do instead of thinking about all the GOOD things we do for our babies.Don't give it another thought.My 6 year formula fed boy is a super healthy clever little chap and that is all that matters.I am still breastfeeding my 14 months old daughter so you nver know you may have a different experience next time around like I did. ;\)
XXXx Melanie xxxx
I completely understand how you feel. With my last ds I lasted around 3 weeks, and I felt I wasn't producing enough milk, so introduced ff. It all went downhill from there due to complete lack of advice and support. I cried for days when I finally stopped (lo just wanted ff by then) as I so wanted to bf. It still affected me when I got pg with my last lo (15 weeks).
I was so determined that this time it was going to happen that I came on this forum from very early on, asking questions, reading problems and solutions etc. I even watched youtube videos of women bfing!
Despite having loads of problems this time in the early stages I am still bfing now!
So, for now, let go of the guilt because you are doing a great job bringing little Harri up. I can honestly say that although I adore bfing and am so glad I got the chance with my 4th and last child, that the bond between me and my last ds is as strong as it is between me and this lo.
Keep coming back here hon - it'll put you in a great starting off point when you do have your next lo.xx
It really gets to me that nurses and midwives do this!! If they have not received informed consent from you then they should not touch you, its as simple as that. I understand that people need help sometimes getting their babies latched on the first few times, but would it be so hard to explain what they need to do and make sure you are happy with that?
I hated this with my first baby, i also felt invaded and embarrassed (yes even after giving birth lol) so second time round i wrote on my birthplan that i did not want anybody touching my breasts unless i asked for help. The midwife who delivered my baby was extremely respectful, she asked if i wanted help, i said no thank you, she left the room. It was so much nicer!
So dont worry about it honey, when you have your next baby just make sure all the staff know you wish to feed your baby without interference and they should leave you alone unless you ask for help xx