I feel i need to vent.

Hi everyone ive never been on this forum before as i didnt bf my lo, and i feel it has become a problem, i only tried bf once just after lo was born but was so emotional after long labour that when a nusre shoved her hand down my top to massage my boob i broke down in tears, and i never tried again because i think i was a bit scared by the nurse invading me like that. Trouble is still 9 months on i really regret not trying again to bf him, I feel like i wasted all that goodness. Hes a perfectly happy healthy baby but this is just niggling me. We are not planning on having another for at least a couple of years but im really going to try with the next one.
I watched "other peoples breast milk" last week and i have to say it didnt wierd me out at all, i found it really lovely that woman share thier milk and i saw it as very natural, which made me even more sad that i didnt bf harri.
Sorry for the rant just felt that i needed to talk about it, any thoughts, opinions or experiences would be great, might help me come to terms with it a bit more.xxxxxx