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too much focus on breast feeding?

hey,

just thot i would have a bit of a moan about the fact that all info relating to feeding is all one sided - all towards breastfeeding - feels abit forced upon you

firstly well done to all brave mums giving it go - i'm not against brestfeeding - its just not for me - which is fair enough cos everybody is different

but what t i dont get why was my first midwife class A WHOLE HOUR talking about purely breastfedding? yeah i get they have to promote it - but i;m sick of hearing about it - you get about 20 leaflets promoting it in your freebie packs - there are posters and adverts everywhere promoting it - so we are very aware of it

surely my class would have been more beneficial talkin about feeding in general - they could have mentioned breast and botttle - as some mums change to bottle at a later stage, they could have talked abou sterilising bottles - some mums may be using bottles as they are expressing milk - they couldve also talked about how much milk/food a baby needs at different stages -would have so much more interesting

Replies

  • Sorry to gatecrash when your post came up on the front page, but an hour seems a tiny amount of time to talk about bf, people who want to bf need as much info as possible to help them get started.

    I think we had a whole 3 hour class but you could ask about ff if you wanted.

    Also I don't really feel 'brave' it's not like breastfeeding is some strange thing to be doing!

  • babymama2b - I tend to agree. I think that an all round view of feeding is what should be provided in an hour long ante-natal class.

    thistle - I know where you are coming from re: it being a short amount of time. I think the point babymama2b was trying to make was the lack of balance. I completely agree that an hour is not long enough (we also had a 3 hour session). However, for me, talking about the theory was only a tiny part and was of limited help to me. The most valuable part was after the girls were born, spending time with the bfeeding counsellor. I think this is invaluable and I was very grateful for the support I received from her. I just hope that everyone who needs the help of a bfeeding counsellor is able to access one as easily as I was.

    Also, sorry to disagree, but for me personally, breastfeeding was a brave step for me to take. It was a very hard, physically and emotionally draining time trying to feed 2 prem, very slow feeders who had not had the benefit of immediate skin to skin contact and who had not developed the sucking reflex before they were born. It wasn't easy. I am very happy for those mums whose babies didn't have the tricky start mine did and who are able to breastfeed from birth very easily but this isn't the case for everyone. There were many days when I felt like giving up (I lasted 3 months) and I think, amongst other things, bravery was definitely involved. It's not a strange thing to do (and I don't think babymama2b was saying this unless I misunderstood?) but sometimes it's not always the instantly positive experience for mum and baby that it is often portrayed as.

    I'm certainly not against either breast or bottle feeding. I mix fed the girls for 3 months. I just wanted to provide another point of view
  • I have to agree with babymama2b and tryingforbabyM. I have breastfed for 3 months but it has never been easy and I've often wanted to give up. I really persevered in the early days to get LO to latch on and to get his sucking reflex going. Since then he's always been a hungry, constant and almost agressive feeder and I feel proud of the fact I've bf under trying circumstances. I'm not sure "brave" is the right word but I know what the OP was trying to say.

    I too think that an hour is to short an amount of time to spend talking about feeding, whether it be bf or ff as it's such an important part of looking after your baby, if not the most important part. We never touched on ff in our antenatal classes due to the huge emphasis on bf. What about those mums who cannot bf? It's just assumed that you will be able to and that it will be easy and natural. We never even discussed sterlising/making up formula feeds etc. Yes, we could have asked but at my NCT class when someone suggested supplementing with formula they were practically ushered out of the room. There does need to be a bit more balance.
  • It was just the choice of the word brave I was unsure of - it is definitely hard work. image

    I think the balance was in the other direction for so long that some people really still see it as a strange activity. This is based on my personal experience of people questioning my choice. I'm guessing all the emphasis on bf now is to try to counteract all the advertising of previous generations, when ff became more heavily promoted and popular.

    Of course noone should be ignored or made to feel bad for not wanting to, that's just unhelpful.

    Sorry my original post was so short and snappy, i should maybe have explained a bit more!
  • I agree that the info is one sided, I really wanted to breastfeed and didnt think of anything else as i just assumed id be able to do it! How wrong was i!? Something was not right and jack lost weight and had to formula feed. I didnt have a clue how much, the rules and reserch surrounding it and pretty much just learnt from my mum or friends!

    Really its about making the best desion for you and your baby so there should be qual time spent on both methods as what fits one wont fit all.

    xx
  • as a mum who mix fed til 7 months i've been very much on both sides of the fence, personally i think ur lucky to have an antenatal class that discussed any type of feeding at all, my antenatals were uter shite, first class was telling us what the other classes wld be about! second class was a video of a woman in labour and delivery and third(final) class was about what cld go wrong. perosnally ifeel it is right thatthey spend more time discussing breastfeeding as if u don't get it right no one else can do it for u, ur parents etc can show u how to bottle feed and make bottles as can friends (as clarkie has said) but no one can actually physically show u how to breasftfeed so it does take alot of information and demonstrations etc to hopefully give a better chance of doing it succesfully. now i'm not saying they shldn't talk about bottle feedingt aswell, but really the ins and outs of botttlefeeding can be covered in 15minutes where as vreastfeeding can take months to fully 'get there'. no matter how u feed none is bettter than the other, baby is fed, and don't let anyone force u to feed in a way ur not comfortable with, including urself as some women (myself included) put alot of pressure on themselves to feed how their peers are telling them, and that goes both ways, not just bottlefeeders being pushed towards breasfeeding, but i for one had a mum and a sister who thought i was being selfish by breastfeeding as no one else cld feed lo, and particulalry when i was up all night with growth spurts etc and trying to get ds to latch and was shattered the next day it was pointed to me that it was my own fault for not bottle feeding.

    i fully appreciate that for someone who definately does not want to breastfeed then sitting thru a talk , no matter how long, solely about that will be tedious, but perhaps at ur next class make it known that u wld like more info, help advice on ff and they shld be happy to oblige u, however it is their job (as government has told them to do it) to promote breastfeeding, so they will no doubtr end the convo with 'give it a try first' but thats kind of in their job description now, its not the midwives or even hospitals plugging it, their just doing what they've been told to do by the big chiefs in westminster. hope u get some info that is helpful to u, as ur midwives are there to help, so just ask them. xx
  • I agree, all the info rams breastfeeding down your throat. It also pisses me off that those who don't/can't breastfeed are made to feel like utter failures from the health professionals. I've also been victim of breast feeding mums looking down their noses at me bottle feeding like I'm failing my child. Makes me so angry.

    I don't breast feed because I never produced milk, I had through the pregnancy decided not to but when AJ arrived I decided to try. I tired for 10 days and got no support really other than 'keep trying', well whats the point on a baby sucking on an empty bottle as it were??? My poor boy was screaming because he was so hungry.

    There should be a balance in classes, I agree, plus most places off specialist breastfeeding classes seperately.

    Its always going to be a hot topic, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the main thing is a happy, healthy, well fed baby, however that may be xxx
  • Also, just wanted to add, I do think the medical staff who can help offer support in feeding are to quick to offer their opinion instead of staying neutral and supporting personal choice xxx
  • I think it's ridiculous that they didn't cover bottle feeding. Breastfeeding mums definitely need a bit more support as it's a lot harder to get the hang of and you can have more problems with it, whereas bottle feeding is quite straight forward, but I think it's wrong they didnt mention it at ALL. When I had my lo I FF from birth but I was a member of BE long before I had lo, so I had learnt how to make up a bottle from BE, thankfully. The reason they don't talk about bottle feeding (there are a few leaflets in hospitals) is because they don't want to be seen to 'promote' it but to be honest, most mums have decided how they will feed their baby long before the antenatal classes anyway, and I don't see how a bit of information about safe, hygienic bottle feeding is 'promoting' anything!
  • I agree, i spent 3 days in hospital trying to BF but baby would not latch on so decided to give up and FF. Had no knowledge of FF and was given no help in hospital. Now having problems with milk (lo is 3 months old) and HV cannot offer that much help as she is signed up to represent BF and not allowed to make suggestions on formula to help me. I feel very alone with the feeding side TBH.
    Breast feeding is gr8 but not always pracical or possible and other alternatives should be taught.
    Sxx
  • my midwife told me not to use a dummy while i was breastfeeding because of "teat confusion!"
    unfortunatey i had a baby boy who just liked to suck!!
    So i decided id rather give him a dummy than have him on the breast alll the time just for comfort, an orthopaedic teat is fine!!
    youll find that because a breastfed baby has to take in a huge mouthful of your breast when feeding that a smaller dummy may fall out!!

    dont believe everything your midwife says! some things are very true, but go with your own instincts!!
  • The midwifes in the hospital I gave birth in were very much open minded. They asked me what I wanted and helped me either way. I was breastfeeding, but also got leaflets from them on safe bottlefeeding, how to sterilise (for pump equipement and such) what kind of teat would be good, what kind of formula and bottles. (we had to top up with formula) Even the breastfeeding counciler was open minded to formula top ups and was explaining all about bottles and steriliser.

    Unfortunately I was not able to go to antenatel classes. (they are here for people over 34 weeks and by that time I was in hospital.

    My hv when she came around the first time was really happy I was breastfeeding but said straight away.'there is nothing wrong with bottlefeeding and if at some point you feel you have to switch because breastfeeding becomes to bad, don't feel quilty about it'
  • I agree, I was made to feel awful when i chose to FF. Like others I thought i'd try breastfeeding but it just asnt for me and lo didnt latch on at all so i switched to bottle feeding and felt I was given no support at all, having never fed a baby i was handed a bottle and left alone to feed him. I didnt have a clue and also didn't know how much he should take so had to call back and ask and all they would do was tell me how much he should take, not how to hold him, when to wind, nothing!!!

    Also after bottlefeeding for 2 days another midwife wanted me to try again with the breastfeeding, she stayed and lectured me for an hour about it.

    I wish they would have evened things up at antenatal as well, we had 3 hours on breastfeeding, nothin on ff!

    I recently had someone point out the benefits of breastfeeding to me in the street, i replied how my lo has had a cold once and recovered quickly and never had any other problems, every breast fed baby i know has been ill with a sore tummy, wind problems, and colds they took ages to get over. A couple have skin problems too. She wasn't impressed and walked off!!

    xxx
  • Im glad you've posted this topic.

    I had my 2nd baby 1 week ago and really wanted to bf. With my dd I managed to bf for 2 weeks but they were the most stressful 2 weeks of my life, she lost 12oz in weight in the first 2 days so I had to express and top up with EBM and I carried this on when I got home after 5 days in hospital topping her up with extra feeds. At 2 weeks old after spending 4 hours on the sofa with her feeding on and off and hearing her tummy rumbling I got out the formula and had a contented baby. But I took a year to get over this switch mentally as I felt like I'd failed my baby and had the hv trying to get me to bf again etc but my husband was totally supportive and it was a joint decision to move her to FF.

    This time around I want to give bf another go and done so much research myself on bfing and latching on and positions etc that I thought yes I've got it it will work. Well my baby boy latched on lovely, but he took 20 mins before he started to suckle then he was away. After 24 hours though he stopped sucking and was getting frustrated at the bresat so I decided to express and then try and latch him on again but he wouldn't so I asked the mw for a bottle of formula and he took 20mls straight away and his rumbling tummy stopped. I had an awlul mw that day and I was so emotional as I didn't want to experience what I did with my daughter so I took that early decision to switch. Unlike 2 years ago Im happy with the decision and I can look and read about bf and not get upset.

    The awful mw said to me, my problem was that I believed I couldn't make enough milk for my son but this wasn't the case as my milk has come in and I'd be able to feed triplets!!!! She kept telling me it wouldn't happen again what happened with my daughter and that she wanted a happy mother. I told her that I wanted a happy baby that wasn't hungry and if he was getting fed by a bottle of formula and was happy and full then that was the way it was going to be.

    Yes breastfeeding is lovely to do if you can do it but it's hard and not every baby or mother can do it and unless you have the support to do it it's very difficult. A different mw said something that has stuck with me when I came home last week. She said that babies are tiny newborns for such a short time and it's so important to enjoy them and for mummy to be happy and baby to be content and feeding well, that is so true, my dd is 2 years old and that 2 years has gone so quick and Im not prepared to loose 2 weeks of my sons life getting hung up on whether to bf or ff. He's a gorgeous little boy so happy and content and thats all that matters to me.

    Sorry for long post. But I feel better for getting this off my chest.
    Gem.xxxx
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