Forum home Babies Breast & bottle feeding
🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.

cant believe some people

zac is now 10 weeks old and have fed him a few times sat in a cafe hidden away in the corner or in the breastfeeding room in our local market but today we had just come out of the town and zca decided he was hungry we were near church that had benches outside felt i had to ask vicar if it was ok for me to sit there and feed zac and he was more then happy for me to

it was on a busy main road so lots of traffic men didnt bat an eye lid apart from the odd few who just smiled but what surprised me was womens attitude most didnt care but i had a few that tutted, shook there heads at me and one who said it was disgusting to do it in public especially with my children around

couldnt get over it fair enough if i was sat there letting everything hang out but you couldnt see anything apart from when zac lifted my top up when he was feeding as fire engine drove past and all i got from that was shouts of good on you love

i expected more bad response from men not women but how wrong i was

lost my temeper after a while told the woman who sed i was digusting that she was more disgusting as she was perving on my boobs she soon shut up and rushed away image
«1

Replies

  • you find its mostly women that will be funny about it, its thier own issues that give them that complex so i would just ignore them, its thier problem not yours, and good on you for putting that woman in her place x
  • It annoys me when other women do things like that, I'd understand it more from blokes but other women? They should be ashamed of themselves.



  • How rude - would this woeman rather you had starved your child? I cant get over some people's attitude to BF, I actually make a point of feeding Jennifer whenever and wherever she needs it, I refuse to hide away like I'm doing something wrong. I was actually feeding J in the front seat of my car one day and some woman peered in and pulled a face before scuttling away - like piggypops said it's there problem not yours.

    xx
  • It's perfectly legal to breastfeed your child in public be it on a park bench or in the middle of Tesco. Amamzingly it has always been women that have voiced their opinions rather than men but, hey, they have the choice of standing there watching or moving away. Ignore the comments and look after your child. You're one great mum for doing so.
  • I've found women to be the ones with the negative attitude too. I was in Debenhams on Saturday and Joe was hungry. The 'family room' was engaged so I sat in the comfy chair area outside the toilets (but not in the main bit of the shop). Lots of people cooed over Joe but didn't even notice what I was doing - one girl walked in, had a good nosey, tutted and rolled her eyes! How rude.
  • its a shame women are like that i think it makes it harder for some women to breastfeed in public

    it does make me feel a bit wary about feeding zac in public now as zac has started to hold my top up whilst feeding if i dont do that he claws at my boob :cry: to the point where i bleed either that or has afew sucks pulls his head back and just laughs and keeps doing it repeadley with milk spraying everywhere :roll:
  • jealous women! :roll:
  • i think it because most women think like we do breastfeeding is best for my baby but some mums cant bring them selfs to do it hate the thought of it. thats thier guilt and anger at them self for not doing it. thats what i believe anyway. i would worry about them love i have had some stares when i have had to feed in public i just smile at them. hahaha
  • Grr!! I bet if u were ff they wouldn't have anything 2 say!! Even though bf is natural and the way the human race has been fed 4 thousands of years!!! I fed ds anywhere and everywhere-discreatly! A number of times I was feeding him chatting away and the people I were talking 2 asked "is he sleeping?" " no he's feeding" they got up in a huff all offended!! They hadn't even bloody noticed! I had 2 tell them! I think most men think it's great as after all that is the reason we hav boobies!! Some however don't want to look like a perv by looking and so feel awkward. I just carry on talking and they soon 4get. I've never had anything negative said 2 me- god help some1 who is brave enough 2 say anything!! Lol

    my local wetherspoons does not welcome breastfeeding mums. I hav fed in there but obviously went unnoticed. As a peer supporter I hear all sorts of peoples experiences, a number of them hav been asked to leave as it is a "family environment" however they hav easy access to the sun newspaper and the daily sport both of which show practically naked women! How is that acceptable for a "family environment" but feeding a baby not. Grr makes my blood boil!! Right I'll get off my soap box now.....
  • Just ignore them, I would always have said women are worse than men when it comes to this and I found it was the older generation who were less accepting. I recall my mum saying she felt it was very unfashionable to bf in the 70's although she did and was seen as a bit of a hippy really for doing so. I think it is their own guilty feelings for not bf or the perception that you are bearing all in a sexual way or something and jojo149k I can't believe the 'family environment' comment, I'd have had a bit to say about that aren't bf babies classed as part of a family??? it makes my blood boil some people are so stupid how they justify these comments to themselves I will never understand.
  • It's a bit of a grey area the "legality" of breastfeeding in public. If u are bfing in England/Wales and in a restaurant/cafe/shop etc that does not show the green baby friendly sticker then the establishment is within their rights to ask you to leave. However if they do have the green baby friendly sticker then any customer who complains will b moved to another seat away from the feeding mother. Obviously in the open ie parks etc no1 can stop u from feeding your baby but there is nothing stopping a person making negative comments. I think the current government is trying to change this and make it illegal to make a bfing mother feel uncomfortable feeding in public. It is already the case in Scotland, u cannot by law stop a mother from feeding her child where ever she wants.

    Just another note on the "family friendly" establishments, a friend of mine was asked to stop feeding her daughter in mcdonalds as she wasn't allowed to bring her own food in!!!! How rediculous!! What is she supposed to do unhook her boobs and leave them outside!! Stupid stupid ppl.
  • i cant say i have seen any of the green stickers in my area i didnt think the negative comments bothered me but we went to big bank holiday carboot on a field on monday we were there longer then imagined and zac needed feeding i felt so worried and a bit panicy bless the kids they made a little shield so had some privacy, i felt a bit disappointed in myself that i let this woman bother me :cry:
  • Aww Hun that's awful!! Don't let that stupid naiive woman hav this affect!! U r doing a brill job, it's her problem not yours!! Keep up the fantastic work Hun and try to ignore any other stupid ppl (easier said than done I know!) The green stickers are of a woman holding a baby, I don't think they actually say anything on them but that's what they mean. They're usually on the doors or front windows of shops. I bet now I've mentioned them you'll spot some! There is alot in my area mainly due to the fact that as peer supporters we go out and actively encourage establishments to become baby friendly. Xxx
  • good for you!!!! shame on them for wanting your baby to go hungry!!! ive actually bf IN church! during mass!!! my mum was waiting or a ight every time she came out wth me and my baby when she was little and feeding all the time. she was dying for someone to tut or comment. nobody ever did.
  • hi all. your all doing a fab job (i gave up at 3 weeks with second baby and never even tried with first!) with breastfeeding so just ignore the silly comments. i work in a cafe and you are well within your legal rights to breastfeed in them. most places do now have a brwastfeeding sticker upo but even if they dont you can still breast feed in them. if they ask you to leave and you went to your local paper about it, i bet they would soon change their tune!

    pls feel free to bf in the cafes and stuff, we dont batter an eye (although we normally send a female member of staff to clear tables around you as our younger males get a bit red cheeked,bless em, our male mangers wouldnt even notice and are fathers themselves)

    i so wish i hadnt given up so easily but i did bf in public during those 3 weeks on most days image

  • Actually, my understanding is that the legal position is very clear - nursing Mums are perfectly entitled to do so in public places and to ask them not to is discriminatory (see link here which explains further).



    http://www.maternityaction.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/breastfeedingpublicplace.pdf



    I've not heard of the green sticker thing before but I googled and it seems this is an initiative by some Councils so that establishments can show they are BF friendly. However the absence of a sticker doesn't mean they can ask you to leave, that's discriminatory.



    On a personal level, I have never encountered any negative comments BFing in public, at worst curious stares and in one shopping centre a bit of pointing (by, you guessed it, a group of women :roll: ). So I'm really shocked by the reaction you encountered but huge respect for telling her where to go!



    Rx
  • just a message for jojo, it is now against the law for any establishment to ask u to stop breastfeeding so if any staff are funny with you u can tell them where to go and complain to manager also.
  • William seems to always be feeding when anything is delivered. All the male delivery drivers seem to not give a monkeys. They just hold the board for me to sign. The female post lady looked all flustered and awkward but didn't actually say anything.



    I feed wherever I am now, but I was very shy in the first 6 weeks. If I'd had negative comments then I think it really would have affected me. Now they'd be sorry if they tried it!! But I think people don't realise just how much their own ignorant attitude could affect someone.
  • Thanks siany. Sorry my previous posts are a bit out of date, that piece of info by-passed me lol!! I actually watched the repeat of is breast best on bbc3 where they mentioned the law had changed in 2010 to avoid discrimination of bfing mummies...fantastic!!! And yes I also checked with my peer support leader who confirmed that the green stickers are only in certain areas. Lol need 2 read a newspaper occasionally lol xxx
  • well my biggest test is about to arrive family christening over 70 people most i dont know and no baby changing area to slink off to bit woried how its going to go but if i can feed zac there then i can do it anywhere really and i think it will be obvious what im doing as my 3 year old has taken to telling everyone excitedly that zac is drinking mummys boobie image just hope no snidy comments arise from it as i know things will prob kick off as they always seem to at family occasions image
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions