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ds still wants to bf, I feel terrible.

My ds is 14, nearly 15 months. Just after his first birthday, I became pregnant, and was hospitalized for a week due to severe morning sickness. I had no choice really but to stop breast feeding as I was away from him for 7 days, and I couldn't keep water down, much less support the pregnancy, breast feeding, and myself.



But still 2 months on he still tries to lift my shirt, pulls at my breasts, and tries to latch on to any bit of my skin. From my hand to my cheek.



I feel terrible, I feel like I have let him down, and that I've rejected him.



If I am honest I would have picked up on bf him after I came out of hospital, but dh has been really jealous and been trying to get me to stop bf, from about 3 months old. I didn't feel I could keep arguing about it.



Ds won't take a bottle, and I give him cuddles almost all day long, but it isn't enough he really misses the bf.



Has anyone else been in this situation?



Is he going to be really jealous in a few months time when the new baby is here and hopefully bf, will he feel like I pushed him away.



xxx

Replies

  • Can you find something different, special and label it as "grown up" something that you can still do when the next baby arrives? That way he will still have your attention which is probably what he wants and he can feel like a BIG brother when the new baby arrives instead of trying to compete for the latch?
  • Oh goodness, I think you need advice about your DH not toddler! I'd pop him back on the boob and let him just have a nuzzle if it were me, toddler that is. He probably missed you very much while you were away and it's not resolved yet and so it's manifesting in the breastfeeding. I can't believe anyone's hubby could be so jealous, that would scare me a bit. I hope you get it sorted.
  • I don't have any advice re toddler jealousy, but I did want to ask, does he use a sippy cup? If so why not just give milk in a sippy? My daughter is now 16 months old and has her milk in a sippy as I BF until last month and she had never taken a bottle so I didn't want to start now. She always took water in a sippy so I knew it was an option. That said it has taken a good few months of offering milk to her a few times a day, but finally within the last few weeks she has really upped her intake and is having up to 6oz at a time. (As well as water in a different coloured sippy).



    You haven't let him down or rejected him, and it's probably a good thing this has happened now so he can have time to get over it before the new baby arrives.



    I hope you all manage to resolve things soon.



  • Could you try what I did with DD at 9mths, expressing milk into sippy cup and offering it as drink. Once DD realised it was the same drink she was getting she accepted the cup and we then managed to switch to formula/ordinary milk from there. As for DH, mine used to comment that he missed being able to caress me as he felt milk would go everywhere but didn't want DD to go without feeds and made do with hugs and alternative comforts. Another thing that HV mentioned to me regarding jealous toddlers (my 2nd is due Sept and have no idea how DD will react as she's very cuddly) is treasure baskets (mumsnet have a page on this). Being as positive as possible with them and avoiding constant no don't do that with aren't you helpful big bro/sis could you please do this for mummy is also supposed to help (though yet to see in effect with sibling actually about too)
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