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Weaning from BF during pregnancy

penstemonpenstemon
in Breast & bottle feeding
After an initial rough start with my DS with BF it all fell into place at about 4 months. He's never had a particular pattern to BF and uses it a lot for comfort even though he has had a dummy on and off. I planned on BF til I went back to work when he was 1. However, now at 20 months he still BF on average 2-3 times a day when he asks for it. He eats meals well and can go a day or two without a BF if i'm working.

I'm currently about 9 weeks pregnant with number 2 and although i'm aware it's safe to continue I really want to encourage him to stop. Tandem feeding is just not something I fancy and I want him to have got over his reliance on the breast well before the next one comes along. I've stopped offering the breast and always offer an alternative if he asks, however, if he's insistent I let him feed. I'm aware I may have to be tougher with him but wish to avoid forced weaning if i can. I've read some stories about changes in taste and supply around the second trimester leading to self weaning but wonder if anyone here has any experience. Thanks in advance x

Replies

  • KazzieMKazzieM
    You're body will continue to produce milk throughout your pregnancy so be prepared for LO to react to the familiar smell when in your presence. Around 2nd-3rd trimester you'll start building the colostrum ready for your new arrival & it is this that can sometimes put your toddler off though some will adapt to the change in taste so don't rely on it. It is difficult to wean off BFing, especially with pregnancy hormones telling you to do otherwise. Be patient & firm with your alternatives, it will happen.
  • BabyVogueBabyVogue
    hey hun

    i weaned my 19 month old when i found out i was pregnant with no2.IN fact i did it the day after i took the pregnancy test! i was just tough. she only got upset twice but soon got over it. it was worth it. felt so much better once i'd stopped. remember you need your strength as your body is undergoing a lot. i am now 38 weeks and my daugher is over 2. up until a few weeks ago she tried to suckle ( if i had a bath with her) but she'd just laugh and say no no no no no. she hasn't tried for ages now. it's amazing how quickly they forget.

    good luck hun.
  • oscar2oscar2
    i'm glad you posted this as i have a 4 month old, i love BF so much i said today i was going to bf as long as he wanted it as most children hit an age where they decide not to...had some funny looks from people who i guess think i'll be one of these nutty people who is breast feeding when he's at school!!! Lol! I don't want to take it that far but hate the idea of stopping him -like you say its not just about food but also about comfort. i can understand you not wanting to tandem feed though - i don't think i would either.



    not much advice to give you im afraid but am interested in how you coped once back at work. I plan to freeze some milk, starting now so that i have it for him (am going to work 3 days so will still bf him on the days im off) he'll be on 3 good food meals a day so i hope its doable. I have the kind of job where i could usually express once in an 8 hour shift - there may be the odd time where i just cant but LO has slept 12 hours before and i guess i will get engorged like i will after a long night but hopefully it will soon get relieved by LO and shouldnt affect my supply too much? Sorry to ask you questions but you must be the expert on this! Did your lO take ok to a cup/bottle after finding the breast so comforting? With mine its a struggle but am persevering. A friend of mine told me not to express and just to let him have bfs when im there and food and water when im not - but id like him to have as much breast milk as possible till at least a year.



    Congratulations on your pregnancy! I think you're right to start thinking about stopping with your elder one now as it would be awful if your little boy felt pushed out on the birth of your second baby x
  • penstemonpenstemon
    Hi just though i'd give you all a little follow up. My decision about when to stop has been made for me. I'm now 10 weeks and for the past 48 hours i've had some spotting. So I knew I had to stop feeding straight away. I've gone completely cold turkey and my boobs are killing me! So engorged and sore. But actually DS is coping better than I expected. Had one episode where he got really upset that he couldn't have booby and we both had a good cry about it. But we've been a bit more lenient about when he can have his dummy while he adjusts and he's eating and drinking more. I'll just be glad when he finally stops asking for a feed, it breaks my heart to keep saying no. At least the circumstances mean I'll not give in and he should hopefully get the message sooner. Just hoping all is well with the bean on Friday when I've got a scan.



    In reply to Alfie222, we never had the problem of introducing a bottle when I went back to work as we started the process at about 4 weeks with EBM once a week (I'd had several friends who couldn't leave their babies as they wouldn't take a bottle) so I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you about that.

    I work 12 hour shifts and do 3 a week - days/nights and sometimes 3 in a row. So sometimes I literally don't see DS for days as he's still in bed when I leave and back in bed when I get home image

    I kind of assumed that when I went back to work then he'd switch to cows milk as he'd be one and at that point we'd wean from the breast. However he wouldn't touch cows milk so we had to have a rethink!! He always wanted a getting up and bedtime feed so he had EBM for these, sometimes frozen. I'd express before and after work but TBH never had the opportunity to express at work which is ironic as I work in a mat unit :lol: When I first went back to work or when I'd had a few days off where he'd feed more, I would get very engorged and uncomfortable at work but my supply did settle down a little. When he first went to nursery i'd send EBM with him in case he wanted it but it came back untouched for weeks so I stopped bothering. Over time we kept trying cows milk and he eventually drank it after a few months, so i've not had to express for ages now. Was just doing what your friend suggested and feeding while I was there and he'd eat/drink more the other days. He was a bit older than your LO though. I hope all works out for you. I'm sure if you are only doing 8hr days and can express there you'll be fine x
  • oscar2oscar2
    thanks penstemen! I also work in a mat unit so i know they'll be supportive, but its just the logistics sometimes. Im entitled to a break so will do my best, although hard to time it effectively.



    what was your LO drinking if not ebm or cows milk? Just water? were they offering him the ebm at nursery and he was just refusing? Sometimes i will miss getting up time and bed time so i would like my LO to have milk and a bottle to suck on as a comfort. It scares me so much he will feel rejected that im not there at those crucial times to give him a feed but im only working 3 short shifts so am lucky. Because of breast feeding and never taking a bottle ive never left his side and it will probably be harder for me than him in lots of ways!



    Glad things are going ok, you've been a fab mummy to feed as long as you have - I think the others are right, he's hit an age where its probably mostly about comfort and as he's into everything hopefully he will forget quickly. On to nurturing number 2 Lol!!xx
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