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Do we need to be more prepared for how hard Breastfeeding is?
I was really not prepared for how difficult it was going to be to breastfeed. I think many more people would continue to feed after leaving hospital if they were prepared for how difficult it is to begin with. Also I would have liked to be more prepared for what to wear to make feeding easy in public etc.. What do you think? x
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Hi. Got to say I totally agree! I was kind of vaguely expecting it to be difficult as my sister had trouble and ended up bottle feeding, but wasn't prepared for how difficult! I even went to a breastfeeding class while pregnant, but don't think the midwife running it was realistic about it, her main point was that everyone CAN breastfeed. It was a good positive class, but maybe not so useful when you're struggling. I'm grateful I had so much help while in hospital (we were stuck in for 8 days) and we also had follow up visits as my baby was under SCBU - and these appointments were with a lactation expert!
But in the early days, I was not prepared for the fact that he spent most of the evenings eating! There was the constant worry that he wasn't getting enough, and coz he wouldn't latch on properly in the early days, one side especially got so sore. I'm glad I perservered as at 4 weeks it finally clicked and we haven't looked back, still feeding at 8 months, and hoping to until he's 1. But if I hadn't been so adamant that I was breastfeeding and that was it, I could easily have given up and made those early weeks easier on myself!
As for feeding in public, at the start I was terrified, and made sure I went places that I knew had private areas, but the turning point for me was going to a baby group, and all the other mothers were doing it! It's not easy when you're trying to stay covered and still getting the hang of it! I found nursing tops were actually rubbish as they expose a lot more than necessary. I would wear a vest top under a looser top so my belly was still covered, but now I'm not so bothered and am able to feed discreetly even if i just wear a t-shirt.
totally agree. baby's feeding patterns in the beginning are exhausting, and its no wonder women get sore when their nipples are chewed on so much! Its easy to see why women worry they dont have enough milk as no one expects babies to feed so much. if women were told about how it would be - some would be frightened off - but in all honesty those are the women who dont really want to do it, so they probably wouldnt have done it for long anyway. those who really want to do it often stop because they think things are going wrong when they're not - so that preparation would be good for helping them keep faith with it. I also think everyone should have the opportunity to stay on a midwife led ward with lots of help at least until they're milk comes in, so they have help with latching baby and are coaxed through some of the early difficulties. I had this opportunity and i know if id gone home feeling ill with a grumpy baby and no help i wouldnt have made it. im bf at 9 months and hope the make the year and possibly beyond, but i was so miserable and sore by 48 hours without their help i think in all honesty id have expressed and given by bottle for a short time and then, as my milk supply would have dwindled, he probably would have been formula fed.
as for the tops, i didnt have a thing i could wear to feed in, i made do with vest tops for the first few weeks and then ventured out shopping - could hardly find anything button up, in the end settled for 3 blouses that i wore over and over. they weren't really my thing but couldnt find anything else and you can't always wear a vest top! some practical coaching about public feeding would be fab x
this is the reason after three babies i have created the babi-mam bib-bob take a look at www.babi-mam.com this is a new venture and any feedback would be great
I wish I had one before I gave birth could of worn all my pre preg clothes (once I could fit in them again) Hope these may be of use to other mums x
Absolutley.
When I had my first, a little boy four years ago he wanted to feed all the first night. I was in a MLU and when I asked for help they said he was fine but if they wanted they could take him away and give him a bottle while I had some rest. As they suggested it I thought it was for the best. Over the next few days I continued to combination feed but by day 11 he wasnt interested in BFing anymore and just wanted to bottle feed. At the time I just accepted BFing wasnt for us and got on with it.
I had a little girl in September last year in the same MLU and they were so fantastic with us. Helped me express and sryinge feed her when she was too tired and showed me how to co sleep and feed so I could get some rest and assured me that it was normal her constant need to feed! We are still going strong 7 and a half months later and currently trying to get over our next hurdle, teeth!!
I fed everywhere, whenever she needed it by just using a scarf over my shoulder but iv got to say I like the look of the 'bib-bob' EG.
I absoultely hate that MW and healthcare profs never ever say anything bad about BF. It all just about promotion and how good it is bla bla bla.
I failed miserably to feed my daughter and ended up in SCBU because she lost so much weight and then gave her expressed milk for a while. I think that if I had had more 'real talking' midwives it would have worked. As it was, they kept telling me I was doing great and it would all be fine and how easy BF is and how all babies can BF etc etc. In fact, she NEVER latched on properly until after I started expressing (one week after birth) and if they had said to me, look - you're not doing this properly, then I could have done something before she had to get pumped full of saline to cure dehydration!
Experience with my son is different, although having got it right from the beginning with limited MW input it is still at the top of the list next to labour for how difficult it was in the beginning. The first six months were hell for me - being up every two hours through the night, but once he got the hang of solids, he finally started to give me a break. At ten months, I wonder what all the fuss was about because it's so easy! I wish it had been like this in the beginning. I don't think that I truly enjoyed BF until he was around 7 and a half months old.
I also don't think that I would have been put off trying BF with either of my babies if there was a more real life lesson on BF in antenatal care, but if would probably have helped to know how hard it is so that I didn''t have to over use the phrase 'it shouldn't be this hard!"
xx
I think that they sometimes forget that women & babies are all individuals in different shapes & sizes & that whilst BFing comes easy to some (I honestly never had a problem, both girls instinctively latched on, DD2 was on my boob within seconds of her cord being cut) not everybody will take to it so well.
They forget the differing factors that can determine how easy a BF is or isn't - How big your breasts are, how your nipples are positioned, how you sit/stand/lay when BFing, the size/weight of your baby, things such as tonguetie/cleftlips/cleftpallettes that make latching difficult. They don't discuss what to do when it goes wrong - how to treat sore nipples, how to recognise mastitus, how to improve baby's latch...The same as the textbook labour/birth, textbook BFing doesn't always follow.
wow kazzie glad it came so easy to you - its just one of those things people think should come easy - you would think it would as its natural. I think for a lot of people its about expectation - even if everything goes well there is still a circulating belief that babies feed 4 hourly and as we bf mums know sometimes bf babies can just feed continually in the beginning. thats normal and not a problem but it must feel like a problem if you arent expecting it.
Couldn't agree more!! This is why I gave up breastfeeding after 4 weeks. I was utterly convinced my baby was starving to death. Granted i was quite ill after my emcs and been a 10lber so I had my work cut out, but formula was mentioned 3 times to me in those 4 weeks and the more insecure i got about my ability to nourish her, the more they jumped on me! My mw started actioning routine weigh-ins every 3 days. I didn't get discharged from her until DD was 3 weeks old. I felt useless, completley convinced my supply wasn't enough.
The fact of the matter was that i assumed my ante natal class had given me all of the info i needed! Once dd latched straight on i thought we were off and away with it. Little did i know that my nipples were to become blistered and bleeding and with sleepless nights, my confidence was just chipped away at every day!
It's only since doing my own research for trying again next time i've realised that i was doing totally fine, formula top ups were just making things harder, my latch was fine regardless of blistered nipples (just needed toughening up) and my baby would have been fine if i'd have caried on! Even if i'd have used formula top ups to overcome sore nipples and then picked up breastfeeding again when it was less painful! I had so many options available to me that nobody even bothered to discuss! It was bf or ff just so long as I was discharged!
I wish i'd have visited my local breastfeeding group before i'd had her and i had been more aware of the problems that can occur during establising bf'ing. My confidence was what put an end to me bf'ing and it's ridiculous really given that the NHS could do so much more to help! Simply saying "you should breastfeed" is not enough help! Because when you're tired out and sore and convinced your baby is starving, the only thing that can save it is practical help!
The fact that most moms try and want to bf says enough. The fact that so few successfully continue for the long term really needs looking at! Surely that should give the NHS the kick up the arse it needs to change 'tactics'?! Less ante natal dictating more post natal action!
I'll definitely be meeting with a bf group before i have my next baby!
totally agree, i stopped bf my first as i thought the feeding frenzy was not normal and as i was poorly, he was quickly switched to formula, secodn time round i attended a ante natal class run by the local breastfeeding team, even with all that information and some first hand advice i was not prepared for the first 8 weeks!! i think more needs to be done in the aspects of whats normal and what to expect in a worse case senario rather than saying its such a magical thing, it took a good 8 weeks for it to become natural for us, but now 10 months on i am so glad i persevered this time!