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I regret not breast feeding

Hi, Can i still breastfeed my baby at 11 weeks? I would Just like some help support and advice. I am a sufferer of depression and anxiety iv had it for around 3 years. Iv had talking therapy and it really helped 2 years ago. My pregnancy was unplanned and I believe I had a delayed reaction because at first I was happy to be pregnant or at least I thought I was. When i reached 7 months I got really depressed and anxious didnt want to go nowhere or see no one after having the baby Iv been even worse. The depression and anxiety has affected me more than ever, I just suddenly realised I wasnt ready to be a mum and I feel anxious, confused and worried all the time. I cant make up my mind about anything. Being so low and tired when the baby was born I decided to bottle formula feed instead of breast feed. I felt like it was less pressure as people are about to help me look after the baby. As much as I wanted to breast feed knowing breast is best I just couldnt handle the thought of not being able to get a break. so i did start to mix feed both formula and breast but more formula than breast as I was so indecisive about what i should do.But I am always regretting that I dont breast feed and I cant help but wonder if i made the right decision although i couldnt help how i was feeling. But now my biggest reason for stopping breastfeeding at 6 weeks is because his father lives in another city and keeps him for 5 days I get a good break and my son gets to know his dad when he takes him every fortnight and obviously for that reason formula is best because he would be unsettled at his dads without being able to have breast. But I still forever think about weather i still should breastfeed if thats my only reason. Can I still try to breastfeed at 11 weeks anyway? or should I just forget about breastfeeding now as formula feeding is more ideal for my situation? My baby is constantly crying because he has colic i constantly feel anxious wondering if i would have breastfed would he be much more settled and relaxed. I feel asif formula may be the cause of his constant crying but feel its to late to start now. What also made me anxious is not knowing how much he is getting or not knowing if he is full. Although other people are able to look after him he is still with me most as well as breast being better for him im thinking its alot less stressful than preparing formula bottles and might make him easier to handle as the breast milk is on tap. I Just feel like a bad mother that I never breast fed in the firs place because of my depression and anxiety and need reassurance and help because thinking about it is just driving me crazy I just cant wait till I can finally come to terms with being a mum and able to make these important decisions. Any advice and support will be greatly appreciated

Replies

  • I'm sorry to read about your struggle. It sounds as if you've had a lot to deal with with very little support.

    You can start breast feeding again but I've heard it can be very time consuming & hard going http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/10-tips-for-going-back-to-breastfeeding/ Although, to be honest, I don't think it would work if you're away from your son for 5 days at a time as it would be hard to build up a supply & keep that supply going with only expressing for 5 days. If you really want to give it a go then try the tips above but I think it would be a lot to go through if you're then starting & stopping.

    I would, however, suggest that you seek counselling so that you can talk through your anxiety, not breast feeding does not make you a bad mum. You were/are doing the best for your son so he can spend time with his dad & also get the rest that you know will help you be refreshed to be a better parent.#

    Take care & don't beat yourself up over this decision x

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