Feeding your baby
I've a while before I need to properly think about this, but how do you make the decision on how to feed your baby?
Been having a chat at work this morning as everyone I work with has babies/children and everyone has something different to say about it! I know that breastfeeding is best for baby but to be honest, apart from one person, everyone else I've spoken to about it has only had bad experiences and it's really put me off! One friend's little boy wouldn't take a bottle until 8 months and she was on the verge of tears recounting the story to me, she said it was just a horrendous time and the support available was poor.
I think at the moment I'm thinking I'll BF but will express also and start early on with the bottle so they don't get too used to the breast, I also want H to be able to be involved and help out with night/early morning feeds etc, but how on earth are you meant to know if this will work or if it's the right thing?! So many things to think about now and it's all pretty daunting 
Replies
I breastfed and always knew I wanted to even before I was pregnant. It wasn't without its difficulties and I was very close to giving up a handful of times but I was lucky that I had support from my mum who is a HV and my H. There are local breastfeeding groups and le leche league that you can phone for support. Also your local midwifes and HV should come and help you. For me it was all about getting the latch right and once I had that it was pretty much smooth sailing. D breastfed up until he was 9 1/2 months ish and I don't regret it. He weened himself off and now has formula occasionally. Which I don't have any bad feelings about either. I think it is one of those things that you don't know until uou try it. If you want to give it a go then do. But don't feel like once you have started with one thing you need to stick with your decision. It's a time when you are working out what will work for you and your baby. Don't let anyone else's decisions or thoughts on it sway you. Everyone has a different experience and you really don't know until you try.
I think that's the hard thing, you just don't know how you'll be when the time comes, which then does make it hard to plan! I don't want to be buying a fancy breast pump and all the kit if I then for whatever reason can't BF and it's wasted! But then want to be prepared for all scenarios! I never really thought there'd be this much to think about!
Like mummyS I always knew how I feed before I got pregnant and that was Formula feeding from the start. I had no desire to try to BF and found myself scared by the idea of it, I have lots of friends who have successfully BF but I just knew it wasn't for me. I think it's only a decision you can make and you will know what to do for you and your family,
I'll be following this thread Woowoo as not sure what I'll do yet.
My ideal is that i will bf and express as early as i can as I'll be going straight back to work for 2.5 days once i've recovered from CS as i work for myself. In an ideal world i'll bf when i'm with the baby and it'll have expressed milk for when i'm not and for when H is around to feed. However, i've already had conflicting advice on introducing bottles etc and whether its easier to use formula as once you've fed the baby yourself, you then won't have a lot to express to build up a stock. My friend did brilliantly to exclusively bf for 6 months and managed to express, but she said it took a few days to build up enough for a decent feed, only for her baby to reject the bottle anyway :-/
Knowing what i'm like, i'll get impatient (already been told by my mum to take a chill pill about it!) and get stressed about it so I'm trying to remind myself that if it doesn't work it really isn't a problem to formula feed.
I've bought a few bottles as i'll need them regardless of how i feed due to work but don't know about pumps etc - did people wait til after baby had got into a rhythm of feeding before they bought one?
I tried to BF W but failed and wound up FF. I fully intend to try again with BF with this one, but i'm more prepared this time for it, i think, so even if it doesn't work out, I don't think i'll feel like such a failure as i did the first time. Support with BF is incredibly important i think, as i think it was the lack of it that made it more difficult for me.
I would like to give a positive story about breast feeding, I realise I was 1 of the lucky ones but I had a very smooth journey of it, exclusively feeding for 6 months & then stopping feeding her at 18 months (due to wanting to TTC again). I'd always wanted to do it & went to local meeting whilst pregnant to hear & watch real ladies doing it (le leache league), showed me what it was really like & heard a lot of the pit falls. Really hoping it will happen again this time round. I think if you're unsure it's probably worth trying it & seeing if it's for you as you can always switch to formula or mix feed but once you stop it can be very hard to get started again. I've heard mixed things about expressing early on & about bottle feeding causing some babies nipple confusion but you just don't know. I started expressing at 2 months & never had any problem with supply as I always leaked from the opposite side as I fed so when I started to pump I pumped whilst feeding so I didn't spend any extra time expressing then I was already spending feeding (until I went back to work at 7 months when I then expressed at work). What I would advise is that once you start giving them a bottle then do it regularly as we did it for a hen day & then left it for a few months & it took a very hard week to get her to start taking the bottle again.
Remember with your husband there are lots of ways he can still be involved with the baby & my hubby was perfectly happy with me to breast feed with him doing the occasional feed (meant he didn't have to get up in the night!!).
There's no right answer so ultimately you need to do what you want to do, don't be pushed or swayed either way because of the experiences or opinions of others around you.
I tried to BF but M had a tongue tie that was snipped at 10 days, but by then she'd lost a lot of weight as she wasn't latching properly and we'd been back in hospital and put on a feeding plan. I exclusively expressed as she would just fall asleep when I tried BF. I managed that for 2/3 weeks and then realised how exhausted I was and so decided to FF. I'd love to be able to BF this time and will be trying it but if it doesn't work for us again, then I'll do the same again. Expressing for a couple of weeks before moving onto formula.
Like other's say it's the support that's important, having a summer baby the HV who came to my house wasn't local as they were all on holiday so struggled to give me relevant advice on support groups in my area. It was also incredibly frustrating to be continually told we had a great latch but M was just lazy and realised the bottle was easier. Also due to the lack of support by that point I was starting to worry and feel anxious about how much she was feeding and whether she'd be putting more weight on again, and at least if she was feeding from a bottle I could measure how much she was having.
I knew before I was pregnant I wanted to breastfeed. All the extra health benefits for me and baby and the convenience of it just sold it to me! I wasn't worried that H couldn't help with the feeding as there are lots of other ways they can be involved and he was the one still going to work so I felt it important that he got a good nights sleep.
It's a very personal decision. I didn't really want to BF due to having to go back to work reasonably early, wanting my H to be involved and having hobbies that I didn't want to give up, which would mean leaving the baby with our parents from an early age. I always felt, however, that I should at least give it a try. I read up all about expressing and only just talked myself out of buying a fancy pants pump before she was born. As it happened, she didn't latch on very well on the first day and that just confirmed my decision that I wasn't really into it. I'm sure help would have been available to me if I'd wanted it and asked for it, but I just wanted an excuse to give up.
I won't bother this time.
I don't think you really and truly know until the baby is here.
I was determined to Breastfeed but George was having none of it. I didn't switch to formula, I express milk for them. It's hard work and requires a lot of dedication. Just wanted to say that there is another way to Breastfeed if baby won't or can't feed directly from the breast.
It's not for the faint hearted though! Formula is simpler and will help with weight gain issues faster.
If you aren't certain, just go with an open mind and see how you and baby take to breastfeeding. You'll soon have an idea of which path suits you best.
I wanted to breast feed from the start. I went to a workshop pre birth and read up about it. But I also bought bottles and a pump as at some point I will want to leave L for longer than an hour and hopefully expressing will allow me to do this.
In reality it was really hard. L would latch but not suck. He became dehydrated and I was advised to ff as well as trying to breast feed. At first I thought we were never going to get there but H was really supportive and most of the mws were too. After four or five days things started to improve and within a week he was off formula. As well as all the health benefits, bf is easier, no carrying if bottles, sterilising etc. but it is limiting for the Mum. I can't leave him for much more than an hour which means I will struggle to continue with my running and climbing and other activities. I'm so pleased I can bf and use it as bonding time for L and I but it does scare me sometimes that I don't have the same freedom I used to or that H has
I was adamant I wanted it breastfeed for all the benefits plus less faff. I naively thought it would be plain sailing. I didnt anticipate J being completely tongue tied.
I hand expressed in hospital. He had formula top ups until my milk came in day 4/5 & from then has been exclusively breast feed via pumping until about 2 weeks when he started latching on with nipple shields. Tongue tie was cut at 10 days. I nearly gave up so many times, he just yelled everytime & it was so upsetting for us both, he had gotten so used to the bottle &'was a typical lazy boy! I was seriously considering expressing exclusively but then this determination kicked in inside me & I knew deep down I would regret giving up so early on. So I persevered & somehow blocked out his cries - knowing it was in his best interests helped.
J is 5.5 week now & latches on so well with shields. I express a couple of times a day so I don't get blocked & to keep supply up (2 things which can be caused by nipple shields) so I have a great freezer supply.
I'm going to breast feeding support group in the hope I'll wean him off but if not I'm very happy to continue as we are.
I wish someone had told me formula in the early days doesn't mean breastfeeding is over. I sobbed & sobbed in the hospital before coming home I was devastated when really I shouldn't have been.
It's so lovely sitting with him feeding just staring at him, relaxing & enjoying him. It is not easy & it's tiring but it's also the loveliest feeling ever.
I went into it open-minded. If I could breastfeed then great; if not then I wouldn't beat myself up about it. I'd seen my sister struggle and a friend go through hell to breastfeed so I knew it wasn't easy.
The first day was hard. No support in hospital and she wouldn't latch on. I panicked she wasn't getting enough and I hadn't brought formula with me. Someone came and gave me some syringes to hand express colostrum but it was painstakingly slow and I don't have much patience at the best of times. She was ok in herself though and didn't seem bothered by the 0.2ml I'd give her! Overnight I got upset, told myself this wasn't what I wanted so told H to bring in bottles and formula first thing.
Our hospital has a charity that works there that assists breastfeeding women. They come round each morning and see everyone who wants gone seen and help them. My sister and husband persuaded me to hold off and see them, she was asleep and another hour or so wouldn't have made much difference. The lady came and got her to latch on immediately. I also then managed to get her to latch myself - so I knew then how to do it and knew she could do it.
After I was discharged we carried on and I managed to keep getting her to latch. I was seen by the charity again who came out to seems and they ring/text me weekly to see how I'm doing.
I have to say we've had ups and downs, it's never-ending and there is a lot of pressure on you to feed every time. But it's so convenient and makes life a little easier when going out.
We've just started introducing a bottle over the last 5 or so days (she is 3 weeks old) and she's doing brilliantly. It's earlier than some recommend but I really need a break and it's right for us.
Just go with it and see how you go. Don't put pressue on yourself and see how you feel post birth. X
Thanks ladies, it's really good to hear some other stories, especially the positive ones. I guess after hearing all the negative stories I'm just expecting it to not be plain sailing for me, which I guess isn't a bad thing as if it isn't I'm kind of expecting it and if it is I'll be pleasantly surprised! I think I'll just keep an open mind and be prepared for all options! I think pre-pregnancy I thought the only options were BF or FF, I'd never really considered mixing the 2 or BF and expressing as options so it's good to know there are more options out there. Hopefully the support in my area will be positive too. Argh so many things to think about!!
Hi,
I wanted to BF but it just didn't work. My top piece of advice is to be chilled about whatever happens and do not feel bad or guilty whatever your decision.
I felt really pressured by the hospital to keep trying to BFing even though it just wasn't working. I have to say I had tonnes of support, they had me up and down all night trying skin on skin contact, and at least 6 different people must have tried helping us to latch. G ended up having about 10ml of Formula in 36 hours from a cup because they were trying so hard to make it work and didn't want to put her off the breast by giving her formula.
In the end another MW came on duty and told me to give her a bottle if I wanted and to try BFing again later. She said she'd tried to BF for 3 weeks and it was the worst experience of her life, and she wished someone had just said it's ok to give them a bottle. I think sometimes they want to encourage and support you to BF so much, that they forget to reassure you that FFing isn't a crime and may actually be the best choice for you. G drank 10mls straight away and cleared another 10ml 3 hours later she must have been ravenous. It was the best decision I made, G became a different baby and I started to enjoy her rather than whittling. In the end after all the pumping and squeezing my milk never did come in anyway.
This time I may try again but if it doesn't work in the first few hours, I'll be less scared to ask for a bottle.
Good luck x
Despite BFing L for 10 days, I'm happy to give BFing another go with this one. The mistake I made were putting too much pressure on myself and when it didn't go the way I wanted, I felt like a failure. With O, he was almost exclusively bf for the first 9 weeks and then had night feeds from me until he was 16 weeks. At the time I felt disappointed about it, but in hindsight, I am proud for getting that far. The main thing is, if your baby only gets the colostrum, your providing them with 'liquid gold', or 'infection protection' as my GP called it when he was reassuring me after stopping BFing L. I will give it a good go this time round and will express as best I can if I'm having latch/TT issues again, but I refuse to beat myself up about it,
Whatever you decide to do for your baby, they are being fed which is the most important thing x
I've BF all three of mine, the first exclusively for 6 weeks, then mix fed to 13 weeks and FF from then on. Second was BF for 2.5 years and third is still BF at 13 months. The big difference for me with my second was knowledge and being far more aware of what was normal when breastfeeding a newborn and young baby. If BFing is something which is important to you, then I'd recommend reading up as much as possible (Kellymom is a great website to start with) and trying to find a local support group that you can visit, preferably before baby is born to get the support in place. Finding out what is normal newborn behaviour will definitely help through the sometimes tricky first few weeks, although like Blackkat and others, I've been lucky to have a very easy time of it with all three.
I think for me, I underestimated how emotional I would be about breastfeeding. I could not convince myself that S was full after a feed and beat myself up about it for weeks. In hindsight, I should have gone to see La Leche sooner. They provided fab emotional support through email but I couldn't get to a group when I needed to most. By the time I could, I was a wreck. I fed S exclusively for three months, then a bottle of formula before bed from then, then gave up completely by 4.5 months. It was the right decision for me at the time and I wish I hadn't given myself such a hard time about it.
The issues we had were tongue tie and me with a low supply after a large pph. S also had reflux so cried a lot and left me little time to pump.
Rather than putting me off, I'm more determined than ever to breastfeed this one, mainly for convenience than anything else! I missed being able to comfort S with a boob, it's sooo much easier! I'll be taking myself straight to a LLL meeting even if I feel that feeding is going well.
The support for BFing near me is pants (nearest LLL us 40 mins away by car) so definitely look up what support there is near you in advance and also consider that TT is sometimes missed so if you think something isn't right, persevere with getting LO checked. It took 3 mws to find S's.
And as someone else says, there are lots of ways that your H/others can help you. When I gave up bfing, everyove wanted their turn at giving S a bottle and I lost the one thing that only I could do which made me very sad.
Sasasi - it's great that you have a good freezer supply. If you find you are getting more than you need in your freezer have you thought about breast milk donations? I did it with D and it is one if the best things I have ever done. All you have to do is express the milk and store it in containers that the hospital supply to you in your freezer until you have enough to drop off at the hospital or enough for them to send a blood bike to collect. They use it for sick and prem babies and it makes a massive difference to them. They say that just a tablespoon of milk can feed a handful of prem babies. It's well worth it and something to think about.