Stopping breastfeeding 13mth baby

Gillimum · Dec 5, 2013 12:37PM

I'm wanting to stop breastfeeding my toddler (she's 13 mths) but she won't leave me alone. She pulls at my top & bra to get to my boobs, has anyone experienced this? What can I do?

Viola Crossley · Nov 25, 2011 10:26AM

Hi,

My little girl is nearly 13 months old and she is the same. From reading magazines and books you kind of expect them to just stop or cut down to a civilised morning and evening feed but this is apparantley not what natural instincts tell the baby!

It is completely normal for your toddler to still want to breastfeed a lot. They stil get a lot of benefit from it both from the milk itself in terms of antibodies+nutrition and emotionally. The world health organization also recommend nursing for at least two years. Naturally, as a species humans wean somewhere between 3 and 7 years.

Of course in our culture it is not easy to continue breastfeeding.

What is your reason for wanting to stop breastfeeding? If you think about the situations that you normally nurse at the moment, eg when your lo hurts themselves or is upset or just cranky or tired, these will be a lot more difficult to deal with without nursing.

But if you stil want to stop it is best to do it gradually. Don't offer to feed but don't refuse if your lo asks. Try distraction, with games or offering a snack (healthy) or drink instead to gradually space out nursings. Avoid sitting down in places where you usually nurse. Give lots of cuddles.

Gillimum · Nov 25, 2011 8:47PM

Thanks for that. I suffer from really bad migraines and I ant take my medication when am feeding her. I get migraines when I get my period when just returned last month. I managed not to feed her yest morning & this morning, but when I came infrom work tonight she was upset and wldt settle until she got a drink from me. I don't want to just stop feeding her, shes not done anything wrong & I don't want her to feel like am punishing her. It's such an emotional decision. X

Gillimum · Nov 25, 2011 8:50PM

I hate predictive text. It's changed a few if my sentences, hope it makes sense

shell1 · Nov 26, 2011 12:02AM

hi, I've got a lil lady, 10 1/2months now and refuses any and all kinds of formula and even expressed milk weather in a bottle (tried several!!) or sippy cup (loads of those too!!), I am at my whits end on what to do, I bottle fed my other 3 children, as a desperate last resort she is going to her gran over night so I can't feed her, she can't smell me and is in a totally different house, after the 1st night my neighbour (a child minder) is going to try and give her her night time bottle. I have an MRI soon as I have slipped discs and also suffer migraine and I'm not allowed to feed her for 48hrs after, I've tried expressing but it has never been great, wont make much difference anyway as she'll only have it straight from the breast!! No-one ever even mentioned the problems about stopping breastfeeding when I started!! I'm not sure if its me reflecting the worry I feel onto her and she's picking up on it as I'm really quiet happy feeding her!! I'm trying to not feed her in the day but I swear she spends most of midnight to 7am feeding. They'll be a light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully soon!!) I hope you find a soulition somehow, your LO wont think she's done anything wrong, she prob wont quite understand but if your migranes are back with a vengance you need your meds otherwise, if they're anything like mine, you're no use to anyone. Sounds odd but have you tried saying 'milk' just before you breastfeed?? offer milk during the day in a cup/bottle and say milk when you give it to her, she'll soon work out its around about the same thing and learn she can have a cuddle with you/someone else AND milk without the breast.Good luck, hope it works out ok x

Gillimum · Nov 26, 2011 7:08AM

Good luck to you too. I agree, no one tells u how difficult it is to stop breastfeeding. I have a cupboard with more cups than mothercare cos i tried everything to get her drinking from a cup but like your lo she wants it directly from the breast. She now drinks from a cup and drinks cows milk so there is no need for me to continue. X

shell1 · Nov 26, 2011 11:59PM

Hi again, well my LG lasted 2 hrs at.her grans, screamed until she was bright red n not able 2 breathe properly n her poor gran brought her home. Looks like my mri can wait!

Gillimum · Nov 27, 2011 8:12AM

Oh no! They are determines wee things aren't they?! X

Umm Umar · Nov 28, 2011 10:15PM

My little man is eaxctly the same, worse still I can't get him to sleep without a breastfeed so he is waking up every 2 hours or so in the night! He is 14 months and it is becoming so draining. I wake up sore from feeding all night!

shell1 · Nov 28, 2011 10:31PM

My lil lady's the same, needs a feed to sleep, wakes up every hr before midnight and then wakes every couple of hrs after midnight for a feed, I know my milk is just not enough to see her through the night and to top it off any nap she has in the daytime are from 5mins to an hr max!! I'm starting to wish I'd bottle fed her!!

Umm Umar · Nov 28, 2011 10:39PM

Oh I know how you feel! I've never regretted brteastfeeding but I'm starting to think bottlefeeding would have been easier. But I know I've made the right decision; it's just finding the strength to wean him off!

shell1 · Nov 28, 2011 10:55PM

I'm with you on that 1!! I've told the dr I can only have my MRI without the contrast injection as I cant get her to take a bottle formula/expressed, I'll keep trying but at least I can relax a bit more about it now, hopefully she'll realise that formula isn't me trying to poison her!! hoping she'll be ok with cows milk when she's old enough.

reformed Mum · Nov 29, 2011 12:18AM

I'm still breastfeeding my 23 month old, we both still enjoy it though I was planning to stop when he turns two! May continue a bit longer as he still likes it and asks for it. I breastfed my daughter till she was 2 also. Stopping wasn't hard then in fact as I found out I was expecting no 2. I told her "you're a big girl now." I have never given formula to either child and am pleased breastfeeding has been so easy and satisfying for me and the children.

Umm Umar · Nov 29, 2011 2:03PM

I have always loved breastfeeding and planned to continue for the full 2 years. But he is more dependent on me now than he was when he was born! May try and just cut down as opposed to stopping all together

Gleejones · May 17, 2012 12:42PM

I agree, it's a really hard and emotional decision to make!

I work as a peer supporter in a breastfeeding clinic and I find it crazy how new mums are really encouraged to breastfeed and then all of a sudden a few months later family, friends, strangers are wondering ..is it normal to still nurse at that age?

I am still breastfeeding my 6 month old little boy, and want to try and continue as long as possible -

You could try and go to your health visitor or local breastfeeding support as they are completely un-judgemental and if you want to stop nursing (i.e. gillimum with your migranes) I reckon they could give you some really good advice and help! xx

Umm Umar · May 17, 2012 1:33PM

A little update - I began to fill ill, stressed, and short-tempered with the amount I was breastfeeding. He was nearly 15 months and would stay hooked upto me ALL night, and wanted feeding most of the day. It just got too much and I suddenly decided - NO MORE. I went cold turkey; didn't even try to cut down. I was shocked with how easy it was. When it came to bedtime, he screamed and cried. I put him in his cot, if he wanted me to hold him, I got him out rocking him gently. The minute he started kicking and arching, I put him back in the cot. This went on for about an hour. Eventually, he fell asleep in my arms and slept fr 5 hours in his cot. When he woke up, I did the same thing and it took 45 minutes to get him back to sleep and he slept for another 5 hours. This was a MASSIVE improvement as with breastmilk he only slept for 1.5 hours at the most. The second night, it only took half an hour to get him to sleep, and he slept right through for 10 hours! After a week or so, I tried to wean him out of my arms and encouraged him to fall asleep in the cot. For this, I made him warm cows milk with a bit of Hawlicks. He HATED the milk, but I always made it and after a few nights he took to it and now he can't get enough! I always stayed by the side of the cot holding his hand, or stroking him. Eventually, I didn't have to do that he just needed to know I was there. Now, loves nightime! He runs round saying "Nigh nigh!" To everyone in the room. Get's in his cot himself, pulls his blankets around him and reaches out for his hawlicks. I just had it to him, kiss him goodnight and leave the room! I never thought I would be able to do that! This whole process only took a few weeks. And the difficult nights stopped after just 2 nights. It was brilliant, I'm happier, more calm. He is more independent and calmer as well. We are both much happier =D I would definitely breastfeed again, I still believe it is the best thing I can do for my child. Will I breastfeed as long as I did this time? I will breastfeed as long as I possibly can, until it becomes difficult. Every baby is different! Hope this story helps some of you

Gleejones · May 20, 2012 11:44AM

Wow thats really great that you managed to breastfeed until 15 months! My little boy is quite good at night and sleeps right through (at the moment!!) I don't know what will happen when I have to go back to work because it might upset his routine and I guess then I'll be back on here asking for ideas on how to get him to sleep!

Is horlicks ok to give as an infant drink? I've been really strict - little man is only allowed milk or water - and he HATES water! I got told that juice and squash should be avoided as they might cause a sweet tooth and as tooth brushing is hard with little ones not a good idea?

LozzaJ · Dec 5, 2013 12:37PM

Horlicks is really high in sugar, unfortunately, you might be better making smoothies with fruit?

Katywithak · Dec 25, 2021 7:24PM

Gillimum said:

I'm wanting to stop breastfeeding my toddler (she's 13 mths) but she won't leave me alone. She pulls at my top & bra to get to my boobs, has anyone experienced this? What can I do?

Don't underestimate their capacity for learning. It's amazing how fast they can learn given the right tools.
Unfortunately nor I or anyone can tell you what that might be.
It's a matter of try everything and see what they are attracted to and want to investigate with that natural curiosity.
Some use the example of other children, saying "Look! None of the big boys and girls still have mummy milk".
Books, toys, nursery games and songs.
She's such a clever little monkey.

Stopping breastfeeding 13mth baby

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