Breastfeeding rollercoaster
Hi ladies
I'm new to this and got this app so that I talk about my situation. My DS is currently asleep and can wake up any Minuit so I am typing as quick as possible so please excuse me for typos and spelling mistakes!
So as you can see in title, my Breastfeeding journey as been a roller coasters and there have been more downs than ups. My precious DS is 9 weeks old. Sine he was born I had a real hard time with breastfeeding and if I were to mention all the details then this thread would be pages long , so I'll summarise!
When he was born, he did not latch so at hospital, I was shown how to hand express colestorum and shown how to cup and syringe feed. We left hospital the next day, but DS did not drink any milk at home , not through breast , cup, syringe or even bottle (formula). After 24 hours of not drinking, we were admitted back into hospital for breastfeeding support. He finally drank from a bottle at 30 hours after birth. Numerous professional tried to help me to latch him on but nothing was working. So then the lactation consultant introduced expressing milk and I was able to feed him expressed milk through bottle. Then he had jaundice so I topped up with formula too.
We returned home the next day and he still had not latched on. So I expressed all the feeding and this happened for almost 7weeks. I also gave one bottle formula at night. Expressing milk was so hard, I was depressed and crying all the time. It was double work, expressing, filling bottles, feeding, sterilising... The worst bit was doing all that at night and also limiting going out because I had to come for expressing before my breasts get engorged! I was so depressed. I was fed up and really effecting my emotional relationship with my DS. I believe in God sonI fully hearty prayed that my DS latches on, the next day at almost 7 weeks, my DS latched on! I was thrilled that I could finally nurse.
Then all the pain began, sore nipples like my nipples were brushed along a cheese grater! Also I developed mastitis. So dreadful I then wished he never latched on, but I managed to feed through the pain as my DS was happily latching on all the time. I Went on numerous trips to GP and lactation consultants for encouragement and support regarding the pain. I applied loads of lanolin and then slowly the pain deceased. At 8 and a half weeks I thought 'Wow it's getting better, I think I can exclusively nurse my DS for a year, maybe even two, finally the hardship has come to an end'!
How wrong was I! I then went to my parents house when he was 9 weeks and my DS was paying up again like his early days. We were both so distressed that I fed him a bootle of formula for the first time in two weeks. My DS slept for 5 hours straight but then during the night again he played up and I managed to get him on the breast after a lot of battling and pulling. Then again this morning the same episode again for two hours (in between he fell asleep and I had my mum hold him while i was tired and distressed! )!So again I fed him formula, he seemed very hungry as he gulped 6ounces.
Now my husband had dropped off my breast pump as I didn't bring it with me as I was so optimistic that he will nurse while im at my mums ! So here I am back to stage one... Expressing! I don't know what to do.
Shall I carry on trying to latch and if unsuccessfull Express which is soo depressing? I feel like my brain is being sucked out. Or just forget the boobs and do what makes me happy and go for formula?if so, il have to dry up my milk but i don't know where to start.
I want to give my son the best like any mum would and have been sacrafising my state of mind to fulfill his needs , but I can't go on this roller coaster anymore! I am blessed that I have a supportive husband and at my place my mother in law who has been cooking for me while i have so busy with feeding my DS. 9'weeks On and I have no timetable, I'm alwysbu Please give some advise, maybe I should carry on trying to latch and express milk in a bottle until he is 12 weeks because I heard breastfed babies settle then?
Replies
Really hope you get the help from the lovely mum's on here, sounds like a difficult and tiring time for you.
I breastfed for the first couple of days at hospital. But they never really showed me what to do they would just come in a latch my little one on and then go as they said it was easier to just get her on and explain another time. I didn't breastfeed for long as I passed out due to loss of blood and while I was receiving transfusion my little one was bottle fed by the midwifes in the hospital.
I was sore also around the nipples and I was told that if I was getting sore it wasn't done properly. For the short amount of time I was breastfeeding I used Lansinoh cream which I found amazing! After every feed I'd apply.
Sorry I haven't got much information. But hope the little tips I had helped.
Ps have you tried the nipples shields? I bought breastfeeding things before my little one was born. And a mother told me that she found they helped. I never got round to using mine. There just like a stick on teat that you stick on your nipple
And good luck on your journey xxx
Have you tried nipple shields? I used them for over 3 months because my daughter wouldn't latch. At around 4 months I tried without and now she's totally fine and feeding well.
Well done for being persistent, I know how hard it is to keep going. Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job even though it may not be going to plan xx
Have you searched for you local la leche league support group? they're the ultimate support network for BF mummy's take a look on google and Facebook. Have they ruled out tongue tie as a reason for not latching? You've done amazingly well to carry on this long, remember not to beat yourself up if your BF journey does not go on too long, a fed baby is a happy baby however they are fed whether that is BF or formula x
I would recommend lots of skin on skin. If you are stressed so is baby, so relax, try co-sleeping. Baby needs to know they can have a cuddle without trying to latch all the time. I'm on some breastfeeding forums, will check for any info relevant to your situation. You have done so well, you should be really proud of yourself. Remember also breastfeeding is very different to formula feeding. You are response feeding, or feeding on demand. They have little and often, sometimes only being full for 5-10 mins and then need feeding again. You're not doing anything wrong, just relax and make no plans other than spend the day half naked with baby to get oxytocin flowing.
Congrats and well done for persisting so far. We had a horrible time with latching and saw midwife lactation support while in hospital they didn't se see anything wrong with technique was affecting my milk supply started supplementing more and more with formula than I spoke with a la leche league advisor told me to ask them to assess for tongue tie insisted HV referred as she wasn't convinced turned out that he had tongue tie was snipped at 4 weeks of age. It took 2 weeks to get latch better but struggled for another 4 weeks with sore nipples he didn't like nipples shields. Then ended up latchibg properly to only left breast as result only gets feed from here till date.
Try and get a la leche league advisor to assess
Hi hun. I admire ure comitment and perseverance. I have five kids and my youngest is six months old. The first two I had no problems breast feeding but with number three, four and now five it was a long wave like journey.. The worst being baby number five.
latching was horrendous and like before where I could lie down and breastfeed this one would only breastfeed if I was sat up and when he wanted to. There are a few YouTube videos on breastfeeding and I watched them although like I said I breastfed four other babies and I would've thought i would have known but it was simply not the case...these babies do what they want because they are all different.
it sounds like u have got family support so I would say, don't stress out cos baby will stress out too...
i would sterilise all your bottles in the morning and fill them up with breast milk and put in fridge... They can last upto 24 hours and if baby wants a feed them warm it up. If baby latches on then hurray however if he's getting frustrated then warm the readymade breastmilk bottle. In between try to latch him on or maybe between the two bottle feeds so he's not overly hungry and ure only doing it to see what he can do for himself...so there's no pressure on either of u.
And to be fair to yourself only aim for one latching on per day.... And when baby starts doing that then move upto two latching on a day and slowly build it up....till then I would continue to express as often as possible with a mind to have it ready for the next feed and not for a feed at that precise moment..
I've always been told that a baby drinking from a bottle has a different sucking tecnique than a breast feeding baby. This could be confusing to the baby and ever so frustrating With so many things to think about...
You will get there eventually I promise..however don't feel guilty if you cant carry on breastfeeding as it sounds like you've given it a hell of a chance to get it right. Sometimes things aren't meant to be.
Bless you, I'm of the believe that a happy mummy makes for a happy baby so do what works for you and your little one.
Breast feeding my second became very painful with bleeding cracked nipples, bf midwife thought it might be because I have big boobs and he was so tiny so he couldn't get my nipple in the correct part of his mouth which is why it was so painful. We found the rugby ball hold worked best for us and I bf until he was 7 months old in the end.
When you eventually stop if you can would advise weaning off gradually and would recomnend Savoy cabbage leaves for pain. Keep in the fridge, it's like heaven - I know it's weird but try it!
Maybe your bubba gets tired and finds bf hard work? They do have to work harder for their feed on breast compared to bottle.
Good luck and remember there is no right or wrong way xxx
Hi well done for persevering! I'm not really sure what advice to give for the latching but firstly maybe he has tongue or lip tie which would affect latch and causes very bad pain and also because he has been given bottles a lot he will find it difficult to latch to the nipple if he wasn't used to it the majority of the time from day 1. As another poster has commented u should try him at the breast once or twice a day when he is not too hungry and fretful. There are advent back to nature bottles or other bottles that resemble a boob and nipple also.
When I first started breastfeeding it was pure agony and bleeding nipples, he had tongue tie. after it was snipped they were less sore but still hurt. its fine now so I can only guess that they have toughened up. He's 12 weeks tomorrow and still unlatches all the time specially on The right boob and I remember i used to dread relatching because it was pain!
other than sharing my experience I can't really give much advice on what to do moving forward xx
It sounds very much like tongue tie, possibly lip tie, Please see a La Leche League leader and get that checked.
Nipple shields are not advised as they reduce breast stimulation and therefore milk supply. Likewise you should not use cabbage leaves as they decrease supply. You can use warm or cold compresses, or gel packs either heated or chilled, to relieve discomfort.
Don't go to the HV or midwife, do seek out trained support from the La Leche League or an IBCLC.
Even if you were to quit BFing, you need to get your baby checked for tongue tie as if it is left untreated it can cause speech problems later on.
I appreciate your struggle to keep breastfeeding but I would really urge you not to quit until after you've seen someone at the LLL and have considered all your options. They say "never quit on your worst day". I do believe things can & will improve with the right help. Good luck.
I recommended savoy cabbage for when you stop breast feeding to ease pain x
i shall keep that in mind too. Mummy tortoise😊
Hi
tha for all the replies , so so helpful
the nursing suplementer is quiet a clever invention and I may give it a go if i have too. We were informed that DS has a small tongue tie in his early days but were advised that it shouldnt effect his feeding, however I have just arranged an appointment to get it snipped.
DS was so so unsettled ydy that I had no choice but to give a few bottles (expressed and formula) as he was crying his lungs out of hunger and feeding was essential, however it had to be done. i had to co sleep with DS as he hadlt slept during the day and he slept during the night, woke up for two feeds, nappy Change and a winge at 4pm and 7am. I managed to breast feed him and he latched however both were very short feeds and I don't know if he filled stomach of just fell asleep the breast as I was too knocked out! I also expressed at 7am out of fear of getting mastitis or engorgement again.
I breast fed ds again at 11am, againa very short feed. Now I am in bed with him alseep, I literally cAnnot move otherwise he cries And I want to be Available immediately when he needs the next feed.
if DS doesn't get fed immediatly then he fusses until he gets the bottle (because i have to), that has always been the problem when he didn't latch on ealeir because he was too impatient. now not only does he want his milk immediately but he wants to be held all the time. We did have family over in the weekend and he was being held constantly so perhaps he got used to the comforh then? Before that he liked being held but I could put him done on the baby swingfor a couple of hours of nap and now that has become impossible. I will be leaving Mums house today n go back to my place n perhaps could get better if he is back home and back in his Moses basket , where is usually sleeps.
oh the breastfeeding horror, I'm just taking each day as a new day. I've realised there is no time table now and things will be all over the place, its all according to babies demand.
Does it get easiet to schedule feedings and sleep as baby gets older?
Xxx
Everything gets easier hunny. I had to co sleep and baby wouldn't be put down at all when she was little. All different now 👍
I'm sorry you are having so many problems. My wee girl is 8 weeks old and I am breastfeeding. I've had struggles too with soreness and not having enough milk or being able to express. I know its not the same but your not alone in struggling and no matter what you do you are the best mum for your baby!
I know expressing is a pain and finding the time is hard but I have started freezing mine and it last for 6 months. It also means if your husband or someone else can help you and let you rest and take a mintue to your self. I would also recommend play womb noises or white noise from YouTube while breastfeeding. I know it might sound silly but honestly playing womb noise in a quite room made it a lot easier to breastfeed as it calmed me and my wee girl down. It actually made breastfeed a little enjoyable as it was a more relaxed atmosphere. I found womb noise really helpful for any issue ive had as its a calming noise for me and my wee girl.
i would also say do what's best for you.
Glad you are taking one day at a time, and remember a fed baby is best! ive heard some mums might have a fast letdown, where he milk sometimes comes out too fast for baby to deal with at first? it could be something to look into xx
It gets easier we went from needing to supplement every bf with botttle to nil. As soon as he got better latch to bf I got a more settled baby who sleeper for longer stretch. Formula caused lot of issues with his g and skin but we needed it. Don't feel bad about giving when you need to With time may Not need any. i now a stash of expressed milk which OH uses when I am at work for my keeping in touch days
I m glad your getting it snipped was one of the toughest decision for me at the time as there is no guarantee but it made a difference over time.
Same with me I occasionally supplemented with formula.. they say there is milk there it felt like there was none at all and he was crying and hungry not latching after a while so I'd give him a little one ounce to send him off to sleep.. i had to work hard to build my milk up with his feeds and at 12 weeks he hasn't had any formula in weeks and weeks and can sleep 8 hours a night! I used to feel so bad giving him formula like I'd ruined bfeeding for him but it's true a mummy knows best xx
My baby didn't latch and after 5 days I gave up BF she lost a lot of weight and it worried me, and therefore I had to express every 2 hours and I couldn't cope with it so I just wanted to say your doing amazingly! No one mentioned to me about tongue tie but I was told I had small nipples which may affect the latch. We did buy nipple shields as advised by my midwife but at that point me and little one we're both distressed we didn't really trial them.
Good luck x