Sick and tired of BREAST IS BEST!!

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 2, 2007 5:54PM

It doesn't get better once lo is here I'm afraid to say, my lo is bottle fed, he is healthy, happy and growing perfectly. I wanted to breast feed but couldn't due to lack of support, including once of the midwives on the ward giving him a bottle instead of helping my get him latched on. We have a 'baby cafe' in our area where mums can meet up, have a coffee, I thought I would go down to try and meet some more mums, but was basically told it was only for women who breast feed! The health visitors look down on me, even though if they had supported me more I would have been more successful, and I have told them that. Do what's right for you, and sod what everyone else says, you'll never make anyone happy though, if you breast feed in public you get told you are wrong, if you bottle feed you get made to feel like you are poisioning your baby. SOD THEM, I know I have done the right thing for my child and I could care less who looks down on me, or who pushes me away, my baby is all that matters to me. Ahhhhh that's better, rant over.x

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 1, 2007 12:19PM

Is it just me being sensitive?? This old chestnut is really doing my head in. I will be bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding as I did with my (perfectly healthy) daughter but I get made to feel guilty about it at every bloody corner!!

If it's not the midwives it's the magazines and books!!

God, I know breast is effing best but some people JUST CAN'T BREAST FEED!!!!! Raaaagggghhhhh........Thanks, Rant over! xxxx

pinkmummy · May 1, 2007 12:23PM

Hi i feel totally the same im going to try and breastfeed only because i can say i have tried it but there is a huge amount of pressure from everyone to do it, even my chap has assumed that im going to!!!! think alot of mums-to-be feel the same hun. dont worry rant all you like lol!! xxx

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 1, 2007 12:47PM

cheers girls! I do have my reasons for not doing it the 'best' way and luckily the woman at the breastfeeding workshop I attended was very understanding and told me it was normal to feel like this. I wish they were all like that! I wouldn't mind but I threw up at the thought and almost fainted twice.

Jaynie-LivingDeadGirl · May 1, 2007 12:52PM

im thinkin of tryin it. see if it really gets rid of the stomach lol. probably wont tho. bottles or my baby

ive been washin baby clothes today hehe

Vicki_and_Callie · May 1, 2007 12:52PM

Hi

I totally agree too, im going to be bottle feeding I decided right from the start. My midwife wasnt best pleased when I told her, who cares what they think its my body and I just dont like the idea of it. Also with bottle feeding you can get help with the feeds. I dont see why we should be judged for it, we all have our own reasons why we want to bottle feed and they should leave it at that.

Vicki xx

Anitarobbo · May 1, 2007 12:57PM

i've got the opposite problem and i actually want to breastfeed and o/h is really against it coz it first baby and he wants to do everything himself and he ain't got the right equipment and besides i know its supposed to be best but if it is why are the hospitals and health visitors so unsupportive and unhelpful i have tried with all 3 of my others and gave up because of lack of support and they have all been perfectly healthy before and after i changed the way i fed them.

daska · May 1, 2007 1:07PM

I'm sick and tired of the breast feeding brigade that try to make people believe that they've failed if they resort to bottles. But it's a fact that there are a lot of myths surrounding formula feeding that persuade mothers that it is as good as breast feeding when it has been extensively and categorically proved that it isn't. And as to being the lazy option - WHAT!!!! - it takes far more effort to make up and then wait for bottles to warm up while you comfort grisly baby than it does to lift your top, and you don't have to sterilise your boobs... (N.B. I did a mix of breast and formula and worked so I think I'm capable of working out which was less work.) Selfish, well that's down to why the decision is taken in the first place so every situation should be judged on it's own merits - most people would probably agree that bottle feeding so you can party every night is probably selfish - but, if you're a DJ and that's how you pay the rent...??? Again sometimes because of myths such as your tits won't droop if you don't feed - sorry, not true, it's the being pregnant and getting older which does that. My personal opinion is that basing the decision on 'facts' which have been proven untrue is foolish and, yes, selfish. The argument 'it never did us any harm' is one of those - it's been proved that yes it has harmed those of us who were bottle fed and ended up with diabetes or allergies or even died as a result - one study concluded that neonatal deaths in the USA could be reduced by 250 a year simply by breast rather than bottle feeding. As mothers we have the opportunity to reduce the risk to ourselves of breast cancer, osteoporosis and type 2 diabetes etc etc etc. When it comes down to it, as long as people are fully informed and make a decision that suits them, their situation and their baby then that decision is, necessarily, the right decision - whether it's boob or bottle.

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 1, 2007 1:15PM

Oh well done Daska *round of applause* I might print that off and put it on a t-shirt!! x

AngelBlue · May 1, 2007 1:26PM

I'm going to breast feed but I dont mind what anyone else does and I certainly wouldnt have the cheak to say thay were selfish for bottlefeeding. Its your choice and to anyone who said otherwise I'd tell them to mind their own buisness!!

daska · May 1, 2007 1:26PM

not sure whether that's sarky or genuine ????????? Sorry, I tend to call a spade a shovel and am very pragmatic (and extremely tactless on occasion).

mel27 · May 1, 2007 1:32PM

whats best is what makes us happy and if that is bottle feeding then so be it! as long as a baby is fed who cares whether its by breast or bottle!!! the end of the day they are going to grow up and go to college and end up getting drunk smoking and eating junk food in the end, so i dont think it makes any difference!

as long as a baby doesnt go hungry thats all that matters, im f****d off with breast is best to!!!!

Ruth- · May 1, 2007 1:43PM

I really want to breast feed but like anita i am having the other prob of every one saying "what your breast feeding??" i'll be 22 when baby is born and every one is saying am to young to breast feed??? am thinking of breast feeding for first 6-10 weeks then mixing bottle and breast. i'm just not thinkin about what others are saying its your body not theres do what ever feels comfy for you!!
ruth xxxx

EnglebertW_nkface · May 1, 2007 2:47PM

Suzaie is right, it doesn't get any better after they are born. Wether you breast feed or bottle feed you will always find some one who tells you you should be doing the other. I am still breastfeeding, as Millie is now down to just one feed in the day I rarely feed in public these days but I always get glared at by someone when I do and my Gran still asks every time I see her when I am going to give her a bottle. Unfortunately other people always seem to think they know best when it comes to our baby. All you can do is ignore them and do what you think is best for you and your lo, better to have a baby on formula with a happy mum than one that is grudgingly breast fed.

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 1, 2007 3:03PM

DASKA - it wasn't sarcasm it was genuine. You said everything that I needed to hear! And now after hearing everyone elses comments too I feel like I'm ready to tackle anyone who makes comments about bottle feeding! Thanks ladies xxxxx P.S. LOVING the new pic of Jake....I swear your boy just gets cuter and cuter AND he's bottle fed!!!! LOL

Suzaie2 · May 1, 2007 3:13PM

Thanks mate, don't be fooled by the calm exterior, he's got a chest infection at the moment (no doubt someone will tell me it's because he's bottle fed!) he is darn gorgeous though.

susie2-34726 · May 1, 2007 3:17PM

i really wanted to breastfeed, well why not we all know the endless benifits. didnt even have any bottles/equipment when she was born, but hey i dont need it, right? wrong i didnt have a single drop of milk in me!!! and im talking 34k by the time she was born! move over jordan. but no not a drop, but instead of the midwives helping and being understanding they bullied me. my boobs were prodded and poked, pumped and sucked. the poor baby who just wanted a feed was pushed and shoved she was so frustrated and hungry. they are sssssoooooooooooooooo obsessed with breast feeding they cant always see WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY which is really all that matters, not hospital targets etc. now when im out and about if i feed her you can see people looking and i just want to shout f*** off, you dont know me or what i went through so dont judge me.

Claire__Ellie_Weston · May 1, 2007 3:22PM

God Susie that sounds awful!! The bloody lengths they go to just for you to feel like shit. xxxx

MummytoKKandNaiNai · May 1, 2007 3:34PM

Hello, i do want to breast feed but i also want to express the milk so im not the only one who feeds my baby as my o/h wants to feed baby as well. The m/w's should not judge ppl who choose not to as it is what each individual feels comfortable doing. The more comfortable the mother the better off the child is so they have no right to judge. There are also women who cannot breast feed, even though they desperately want to their baby is still hungry so they have to use formula. Those women have no choice so do the m/w's judge them as well???? I am gonna try my best but if i cant do it & my baby is not happy i will use powder milk because it is all about what is best for my baby & i will not leave it hungry because certain ppl want to be small minded & do not know the circumstances surrounding why i dont breast feed. Another thing i am scared of is the thought of doing it in front of ppl. I CANNOT do that, so i think i will have to express milk if i am going out or if i know ppl are coming round. Because i dont feel i can sit in the same room as ppl & breast feed i will be bright red!!!!!!!!! Some women also feel their breasts are there for sexual purposes. One of m friends cant even talk about breast feeding without cringing, she has 2 children & she used powder milk with both***

sibles24 · May 1, 2007 3:38PM

Hi - I bottlefed both my daughters and that is what I plan to do this time - I tried with my first but it just didn't happen - especially when you are in hospital with a newborn baby and the midwives are sticking the boob into babies mouth, moving them this way and that, squeezing you, prodding etc I told them to leave me alone and she can go on the bottle!! They weren't impressed to say the least!! The only thing I will say is be prepared for extremely painful, hard, melon like breasts for a few days - I sat there with cold flannels on my breasts to ease the discomfort and I've got that all to come again!! I found it so much easier to get into a routine, and the best thing about bottle feeding is if you are tired you can give baby and bottle to oh!!

Nic_n_kids · May 1, 2007 4:55PM

Hi all, with my last baby i tried to breastfeed, but i have fairly flat nipples so not a great deal for baby to latch onto. I was getting really angry with the midwives as they kept trying to get him latched onto my boob, he was also getting quite angry. I had this everytime he needed a feed. Luckily i only stayed in hospital overnight and on the way home i told oh to go and get some formula milk. Once i fed him a bottle he was more settled, the problem was i felt like i had given in to easily, so i tried again on the breast, my mate came round with some nipple sheilds to try and hey presto, he latched onto them and had a good feed. I fed him breast for 2 weeks, i had to give up after all that coz he was so dreedy and i couldnt keep up with him lol. I do intend to breastfeed this little one but i have some sheilds ready to go to hospital with me and i dont bloody care if they dont like it, it's my baby and if i want to feed it with a shield then i will. With my first baby i bottle fed from the start but i felt guilty for not trying it thats why i tried with my second baby. I have to say i could probably feed a bloody ward full with the amount of milk i have lol. You must do what you want to do and not what your being told to do as you have to feel comfortable. good luck everyone.... Nic and 27+5 week bump. x

Sick and tired of BREAST IS BEST!!

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