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Really want to give up work!

I'm a childminder at the moment, have been doing it for nearly 2 years, and in some ways it is ideal because i can make a bit of money while being at home with ds. I'm expecting baby 2 now though and finding work increasingly difficult and no idea how i'll cope with ds and a newborn, never mind extra kids!
I'm currently starting a new business too, which is something i'm really excited about and will hopefully be a longterm career for me once the kids are at school (childminding was never meant to be a 'career' choice).

I'm just wondering how some of you manage on just one wage? I don't make much money, but it all helps cover the food bills and extras like clothes and going out for dinner. I know there are things we could cut back on until my new business takes off, but i worry how we would manage. Also i feel like i would feel guilty for leaving hubby as the sole breadwinner. Like i was just being lazy or something, which is ridiculous because looking after a house and 2 kids is a full time job in itself! Does anyone else feel like this being a SAHM? And do your partners treat you any differently now you don't 'work'?

Replies

  • I've never been interested in a career - I've always wanted to be a mum and raise a brood of kids (my mum was a childminder so I grew to love babies and kids!). My husbands wage barely stretches to cover us now that I'm not working, but we make do and have very little in the way of luxuries etc. I simply couldn't afford to work as it would have meant buying a second car. He doesn't treat me differently - I supported him through doing a Masters degree & a PGCE so he owes me!

    Plus he says he would much rather I was at home looking after his son than dumping him in a nursery. I know its different for you as you are at home with them anyway, but if its too much to handle with a newborn (which we both know it probably will be) then you have to make the best decision for you and your kids. And besides, if you're setting up a new business it isnt as though you're sitting back and telling your hubby to do it all.

    Good luck with whatever you decide, and with the new lo. xxx
  • I went back to work for 4 months after my maternity leave and really struggled with it, so now I'm a SAHM - I loved my job, but I love being with lo more, work was 13 miles away and I felt so much time was wasted sitting in traffic, and it wasn't really possible to shorten my working day, so I'd be out of the house 7.45 til 6.30, which I felt was just too much! My mum had lo for me short term, but couldn't have kept it up long term - and I think going to the nursery by my work, which we'd agreed on as hubby's work was near mine too, would make it a very long day for him with a long car journey either end. It just wasn't how I imagined motherhood being and wasn't what we wanted as a family.

    We were lucky in a way as hubby was able to sell some land he'd inherited from his Dad just as I went back to work, which we felt would give us some breathing space financially - but 8 months down the line we haven't touched a penny of that money, we're managing just in hubby's wages. He doesn't earn bad money but our mortgage is quite expensive, so we do have to be careful (cut down on take-aways, buy cheaper clothes and look out for good deals etc), but it's manageable. I don't feel guilty that hubby is the only one bringing any money in, but I do appreciate that his hard work allows me to stay at home with our son - but he wants him to be at home with me rather than in nursery or with someone else too. Sometimes hubby gets a bit jealous of how much time I have with ds, but he also admits he couldn't do it full time - so it works for us.
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