feel a bit torn-go back to work for bit?

i was told that if i go back to work for 3 mths minimum for a least 3 days a month or there abouts, i will get more MAT Pay as get SMP +OML pay. the thing is i really dont want too think aboiut it or do it even on such little days per month. i guess it it sounds silly to get extra money for the sake of 3 mths but i just feel i will be thinking about it the whole year im off then have to get used to not having the pay anyway when the MAY pay stops and i DO leave work after that time.
also i do not reallt like my jon anymore anyway. am i being really silly?