Finding the right balance
Hi,
I have a little boy who is now 18 months old. I work 3 days a week, cramming in 23 hours. I'm lucky in that although my commute is 1hr130 each way I do one day at home and start early which means I can picky my DS up from nursery.
It is hard as we don't get a lot of free time of an evening and its usually all I can do to eat and get to bed ready for a 5.40am start.
I am very lucky that my DH gets our son up on the 3 days I work and then I get him ready for bed and he cooks. On the other days I will cook, I think it is swings and roundabouts but we sometimes argue about who gets to lay in etc and the housework is a massive struggle.
I always feel guilty because if I do the house I feel bad and that I've wasted my time with my Son but then if I spend time with him I find the house is a nightmare and I feel guilty and extra stressed. My DH is not very helpful on this front. He will occasionally hoover and do the dishwasher but it is me that does everything else and also looks after the jobs regarding getting things in the loft as ou son outgrows his things, wash, iron, lavbel the new stuff.
I'm quite behind on some jobs that have now become pretty pressing. We argue quite a bit about it and sometimes I give in and relax but I know I am usually spending my time wanting to get on with things. Whereas he will just sit and do nothing.
On top of this we are thinking of TTC number 2. BUT really don't have as much room as we would like. We could manage but it would be harder on us as new baby would need to be with us likely for 12-18 months.
So...
All this makes me wonder if I should work more hours to save more so we can afford to move AND allow us to get a cleaner for a few hours a week or every 2 weeks.
This sort of sounds like madness as we find things tough already but I think a cleaner would make me feel less pressured and would hopefully allow me to feel I can spend my day off with my Son actually enjoying him.
Saving would also take the pressure off a 2nd maternity leave and if we can save enough to move this would really help.
The obvous downside is how I feel about working 4 days instead of 3.
I do think my Son would be happy doing 4 days at nursery but I think I would be sacrificing just slightly my bond with him. However if the time is more quality time maybe not - its hard to tell.
My extra day would be able to be at home which would be very useful. It makes it extra worthwhile and would in effect mean we earn +£200 more a month.
I just can't weigh up what is the best course. I'm worried I will regret it but I also would love to have another baby and moving and saving a little would really help. I think if I don't we would ttc in 6 months and then I know we could not move to a reasonable house for another 2 years. So there is not so much benefit.
Really confused!
How have you guys justified your working hours? ANy regrets? Has anyone increased working hours?
