Forum home Family life & relationships Childcare & work

Who works?

I'm having a real hard time at the moment and would love some advice from working mums.

I work full time 9 - 5. My lo is in nursery 8.30 - 5 and loves it BUT she is never there because she is always ill.

Two weeks ago it was tonsilitis and conjuntivits this week it's a cold. Friday i had a call to go get her but they rang at 3.30 so i said i couldn't leave (as it was only 1 hour and a bit). Yesterday i got a call at 1.30 to get her. I took her to see the nurse and she has high temp, sore ear and throat so she's off again.

I had found out in the meantime that my boss isn't happy about the amount of time i've had off with her and my own problems (i've had just over two weeks off and both with sick notes since i came back in March).

He has now made me feel that i can't leave work if Summer needed me and that i cant be off. The week i had off as she was poorly before was unpaid.

I obviously now don't want to be at work anymore. What can i claim? I've been working at the same place now for 11 years.


  • hi hun, i dont work but i know what i would say to my boss if i did!! that my kids come first! its not ur fault ur lo has caught every bug going but thats what happens with nursery and all the germs! lol. my friends lo is the same if its going around she will get it! i dont work and i love it its a struggle but i wouldnt have it any other way! i cant bear the thought of any one else looking after my lo anyway! after this one is born i may go out and work evenings a few days a week to get some adult company and then rob will be here to have the kids!!
    ur boss cant speak to u like that its not ur fault u are entitled to time off when u have children!
  • you are entilted to 13 days a year,be it unpaid to attend to a child under 5,this does not effect you in any way so if you are sick they shouldnt take into consideration the time you have been of with lo,tell them to wind their neck in lol

    or direct them to the direct gov website which will explaine it all

    my boss is the same doesnt no what i am entilted to and once out me as holiday for Lennon being off sick,i only work 4-8 monday-thursday so can sometimes go in later and ask hubby to get hime or my mum fins at 4.30

    tax credits wont be able to help you i dnt think because they can give you a direct answer,doubt they would be much help
  • I work full time, mon - fri 8.30 till 5. My son goes to nursery 7.30 till 5.30 all week and like you he loves it......but I hate it.

    I too have had to have unpaid time off work due to my son being ill. He had chickenpox earlier this year and was quite poorly for 2 weeks. In his first month at nursery he wasn't in for more than 3 consecutive days because he kept getting gastric bugs.

    Work shouldn't moan about it (although you will always get those that do), but as you are within your rights to take unpaid time off they cannot take any action on it. If they did they would be in breach of employment law.

    You will just have to hope in time that your LO will build up a really strong immunity and will get ill less often.

    Try not to worry about it, as you are not taking liberties at work, and as you said your little girl needs you.
  • hi hun i know how u feel i work for tesco(off on mat leace at mo)and they are terrible infact they encourage u to work and find alternative care for your sick child but i wont do it he is my son i will look after him ....can i just add that im not sure if what grudgie said is right well it might be but i thought it was actuallly 13 weeks in the 1st 5 years unpaid but it has to be planned i think its for any ops etc sorry if im wrong i do have pregnancy brain,thats parental leave and u are entitled to there someway u can opt for a carrer break witht he company u work for meaning u can be off for a couple of years and return to the same company but not the same job??i know tesco do this not sure about other companies...........other than that i think if u do decide to stay at home which is what i will do when this baby arrives apply for tax credits etc to bump up ure oh income ....sorry not much help hope ure lo is better soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I know how you feel too hun,
    I had two weeks off unpaid in Nov, first week my eldest had chicken pox then the following Mon he was able to go back to school but my youngest came out in spots so had to have a second week off.
    Then last week my eldest was sick at school and although he was absolutly fine after they don't allow them back for 48 hrs if they've been sick so that was another 2 and a half days off (half day because i was called on the first day to go and get him)
    And then today I get a call from nursery to say my youngest had a high temp and i had to go and get him and they said if i had to give him any more calpol tonight (which i have!) he can't go in tomorrow so today was another half day and i'll be off tomorrow too now!!
    I'm a single mum and the only family i have is my mum who works full time so i literally have no one else to look after them!
    the parental leave that chuffedbaby2 mentioned does have to be planned in advance but like grudie said you are entitled to unpaid time off to look after a sick child without getting into trouble at work, i've gone well over the 13 days though!!
    people keep saying to me "it's just that time of year" or "there's a lot of it going about!" so i'm just hoping it will get a bit better in the new year, maybe it will for you too?
    And off course i'm off unpaid for two weeks from mon as i have no childcare in the xmas hols!!!!!!!
  • I have off sick at the minute with my daughter as she was just diagnosed diabetes. She is 15 months today. I am not returning to work until after the new year. My boss however is very understandable but only probably because of the circumstances and she knows it is beyond my control. I am not a person to take off sick so she knows it is genuine. It was the same when my Mum passed away in August this year. However if it was a few weeks here and there I am sure she wouldn't be as understandable. I do get paid though when I am off on the sick for 6 months I think so thats not too bad at the minute.

    As far as what you can get I am not sure. I was thinking of looking into this for my husband to give up his work and look after Kara as I earn more than him. I don't think it would work though as they take my income into consideration as well. The system is awful for working mothers.
  • hi can u really have 13 days off without getting into trouble?sorry grudie i hadnt heard of this and i have been in trouble for being off with jack grrrr!!stupid tesco i wish id known that ........hope u manage to come to a desicion about work hun and thanks for the info from the others that will come in handy for me xxxxxx
  • i cant find where it is on the direct gov website but i will keep looking,it was at the start of the year that i read it,you could always phone acas and have a word with them to find out where you stand x

    [Modified by: grudie on December 17, 2008 10:25 AM]

  • i still cant find it hun,i told me boss about it once he out me through as a holiday for being off with Lennon because my childminder was in hospital but try this number for a bit of info

    The Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (Acas) offers free, confidential and impartial advice on all employment rights issues. You can call the Acas helpline on 08457 47 47 47 from 8.00 am to 6.00 pm Monday to Friday.
  • well i can't claim anything as OH earns too much (wish we saw some of his money). Anyway after rejigging a few things, reduced our mortgage and bills etc i've managed to go part time so as of the New Year i am only doing two days a week. Summer will still be going to nursery but at least i'll only have to worry about sorting out cover for two days instead of five.

    I feel slightly bullied about it all but i can't wait to spend more time with Summer and just wish i sat down and worked things out before i returned to work in March as i've wasted so much time with Summer.

    The only drawback is that i might have to pay a whole month's nursery fee for January even though Summer will be going 2 days a week. ??745 down the drain.

    Thank you all for your replies and support - more than i get from work!!!
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions