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Guilty about not feeling guilty - working mum

I have just finished my 2nd week of work. And I am LOVING it, I am soooo glad to be back. I took 11 great months off with my son and have wonderful memories but I wont lie. I love being back at work. I have always enjoyed my job so made it easier.

However people keep saying 'oooh do you miss LO during the day' - actually I dont. I really dont miss him. If I am totally honest (I really dont know how else to be). I love the fact his dad is having to do some work with LO (I leave the house at 6am so OH has to do everything and drop at nursery). LO is having a great time at nursery. Comes home filthy every day (which I love, knowing they let him make things and get dirty). I get a report card daily with what he eats (eating wonderfully, even sits at a table on a chair with a plate, he is 11 months old and would NEVER do that at home) - Drinking from a beaker etc.

I get v excited when I pick him up, as he shouts 'mum mum mumma' when he sees me but do I feel guilty? NO

Ahhhhhhhhhhh I actually feel guilty about not feeling guilty if that is possible.

Does it makes sense? Am I being wicked? DO you ever feel like you are going to work for the break? I only work 3 days a week so today is our first day in 3 together and I feel more motiated than ever to play with him and have fun as I havent seen him all week if that makes sense.

Sorry for the waffle x


  • Hon, don't look for a problem when there isn't one! Everything's going as well as it could - LO happy in nursery and you happy in work, you still see him a lot, and everyone's a winner! Why should you feel guilty?! You spend almost a year with him all the time and now need to earn some money and build a better future for your family.

    Really pleased everything is going well, don't feel guilty for being happy! That is a classic woman's issue by the way - I don't think many men feel guilty for going to work...
  • not at all hun..i found being a mum for the first year a lonley time actually and when i went back to work it gave me a chance to be me again and not just a mummy if that makes sense...i felt guilty when he cried when i left him at chldminders but i knew it would do him good also,being with me 24/7 cant be that fun lol

    now when i pick him up from nursey i know hes had fun i get the biggest cuddle and kiss and all the way him he holds my hand and says i love you so much mummy and kisses my hand lol

  • when i had my dd1 i went back to work 2 days a week and loved it did't feel gulity at all. most of the time i found work easier than being at home at least i got lunch/coffee breaks.sometimes its better to spend less time with our los but better quality time than be there all the time and be unhappy.

    [Modified by: hollypolly on September 09, 2010 10:48 AM]

  • I agree with Coco it all sounds wonderful and you shouldn't make a problem where their isn't one. Your happy and L's happy were's the problem? He gets to play all day, spend more time with daddy and play loads with Mummy when she's home.

    Don't let others expectations get you down when all is well.x

    Oh and Coco OH hates working full time and missing out on E and gets so down about it that I'm seriously considering working full time and re-training so he can work from home and stay with E!!!x
  • Totally know where you are coming from, LadyK. Peter is only at nursery one day a week and I look forward to it every single time! I work evenings and nap times as well but it is very bitty so having one full day to focus is bliss.

    And yes, I did feel a bit guilty for wanting the time to myself so badly to start with, but I am starting to realise, six months on, just how much time I devote to Peter during the rest of the week. 9 hours without him, when he is happy, well cared for and stimulated in ways that I just can't cater for, is not much in the grand scheme of things.

    Enjoy your days with your lo, but also relish the time you have without him. Both are facets of who you and should be cultivated. No need to feel guilty about that!
  • No WAY should you feel guilty!!!

    When I went back to work in January, 4-days a week, I loved it too. Being honest, I was ready for a break from constant baby stuff. Little things like being able to drink a full cup of tea and eat a proper lunch!

    I was lucky that I had a good job to go back to - they were super flexible with my hours and time off for sorting T out with various things. He got quite poorly being opened up to a whole new world of germs, he got the pox etc... I got made redundant and was gutted!

    I am now back full-time and whilst I am loving the job and feeling lucky I found it (many from my old job weren't as lucky) - I do miss my ONE day with Tobes so very much and I am also super exhausted. I am doing all the morning, drop off at nursery, collect and start his bath until Daddy gets home around 6.45pm.

    I do feel guilty now he's in properly full-time but its only because I am not as happy in his job as I was my last. I am happy - very in fact - but was REALLY REALLY happy in my old job! LOL

    I now can't wait until we have a 2nd so I can go on maternity leave as there is no way we can afford for me to go PT again until we've had a 2nd (if that makes sense).

    In general I have ALWAYS found it easy to leave Tobes. Not in the way that makes me sound cruel - but in the way that he has NEVER once cried when we've left him so we've never had to go through that feeling of hating leaving him when he's crying. I do hate leaving him - not saying that - but saying I find it easier to leave him as we have no issues with him being happy there.

    He LOVES it at nursery. Had his review today and it could not have been more glowing and made me feel so so proud to be his Mummy.

    I'm feeling very strongly about this whole thing as months later some of my Mummy friends still make me feel guilty for working FT.

    Sorry for really rambling!


    P.S. What job do you do?!?!?
  • Dont feel guilty, I dont feel guilty at all ! I work 2.5 days a week and I love my job but I love just dropping the responsibilty of being a mummy for a few hours, and no I dont miss her.

    She loves nursery, I pay alot of money for her to go to a good nursery and I know its a benefit to her. Then I get my time to remind me that i'm not just a wife and mother but a person with a good job too !
  • I felt like u Lady K that I should feel guilty and don't. In fact I was part time and will be going back full time as its more money and when I'm part time I don't get any time off with my husband as he looks after Harry when I'm at work and then grandparents pick up rest. When I go back full time Grandparents will have him two days then childminder 2-3 depending on my husband shifts.
    Glad its going well for u xxx
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