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hi there,
i have a 7 year old son who was diagnosed with autism, moderate learning disabilities and severe behavioural problems at the beginning of the year.
i am really struggling with him at the moment nand dont know who to turn to. i have asked social services for respite and they dont think he is bad enough for it as he can communicate although alot of what he says is abusive and completely irrelevant the conversation. all they would offer is one hour a week gym class. its not that i want to get rid of him but he is so intense and i just wanted a bit of a break so that i could spend some quality time with my other child who is 4.
the thing is is that i am getting up 4 or 5 times in the night to settle him or change his bed covers and i am just so tired. he goes to a special school which he loves.
i know this sounds so horrible and i love him so much but everything we do he ruins by hurting his sister or running off and throwing a tantrum or screaming all the way there and back and kicking the seats in the car.
i play with him, read to him he has a happy home but there is nothing i can physically do to ease the situation when he behaves like this or to prevent it altogether.
there is nothing in particular that sets him off he will just flip at any time.
there is a course called the earlybird starting at his school which i am due on next year th help me diffuse situations but what do i do in the meantime? can anybody give me any advice? i am dreading the xmas holidays and i actually feel sick at the thought of going out anywhere with hhhhhhhhhhhhi i know how it will end.
i feel that all these doctors that have been assessing him for the past 5 years have put in their pennys worth then left me to it offering no support or anything.
im sorry for the long rant i am really hoping someone may be able to give me some advice.
thanks xxx


  • i am sorry i can't be of any help as i do not know what it is like to deal with a child with autism, i am sure you will get replies at some point but i also wanted to suggest you try on i have seen several posts about autism on their chatboards there and also you may find something on

    i also wonder if you are having a hard time of it all at the moment if social services can't give you any help, perhaps if you went to your gp would they perhaps be able to find you some sort of aid or support.

    really hope you get some answers soon, look after yourself and take care :\)
  • Hi hon.
    Iv'e no experience with autism but did wonder if social services may help? I see that they have let you down before but I wouldn't take no for an answer and if you have the time keep plugging away at them. Eventually they will listen.
    I know your son is 7 years old but have you tried going to your local health visitor, mine was brill when i had behaviour problems with my son(then 4). That may even speed things up wth social sevices if you get reffeared from the HV.
    I don't know where you live but in my local phone book there is a few numbers for social and mental health support groups....I don't know if they could give you a bit of advice, For you to be able to manage the difficult situations when they come up with your son????
    I hope you don't mind me saying but it seems to me you are doing a super job coping with no support from the health services.
    you should be very proud of yourself.
    Keep your chin up hon

  • thankyou both so much for replying. just reading what you have both said has made feel better and more confident.
    in a way i am glad that social services wont help as many families have them involved for bad things. they have been to the house and assessed us and are really happy with what im doing so really believe that we dont need their help. i suppose that should be seen as a compliment in a way. it doesnt help when i am tearing my hair out though!
    i will give those other websites a visit too.
    thanks again xxx
  • Hi Sasha 34,
    just wanted to check in with you to see if youv'e had any luck finding some support?
    I do wish you all the best and am keeping fingers crossed for xmas. Im sure it will be fine as you are doing a great job dealing with things.
    much love hon
  • Hi there. Have you tried contacting the national autistic society (NAS) for advice? You could also contact your son's educational psychologist and ask for some advice about behavioural strategies. It may be useful to contact his speech and language therapist (SLT) too. They may be able to produce some visual supports (prompts, visual timetables etc) that could make his day more predictable and therefore behave better. Both the educational psych and SLT have a role that encompasses both school and home. It's not only their job to support your son in school.

    Sometimes the NAS run social groups for children or support groups for parents. At any rate, they should know of similar supports in your area if they don't provide any themselves.

    Hope things improve for you. X
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