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3yr old son wit autism

hey all new 2 this forum jus wondered if neone had ne tips advise etc jus sum one goin tho t same wud b lovely feelin pretty alone 2 b honest
Neway here goes my goregous cheeky little boy has jus bin diagnosed with autism hes bin avin sum problems for about t last yr, speech delayed very gud wit single word and singin but not sentences, finds preschool distrestin doesnt really play wit other children nemore apart ffrom my friends 6yr old girl who he plays amazinly wit am sure she'll brake his heart one day, he gets hooked on things at t moment its balamory and hes devoloped a scottish accent lol hes such a sweet heart and melts me daily even on days wen hes sent home from school in distress and all i want 2 do is cry or hes screamed his head off in front of a million people and everyone gives u that look as if 2 say am sooo glad hes not mine shes a rubbish mum who cant control her awful child look lol i still jus look at his little face and jus wanna hold him so tight and make it all go away for him i fink its that look that bothers me more then nethin i no it sudnt but jus feel like screamin hes not bin naughty hes jus doesnt understand hes scared frustated etc,
hes very cuddly and always gives lots of kisses which is lovely and hes such a gud boy if a little on t bossy side lol!
i guess now hes at preschool weve got 2 realise that he is different and stop all friends granparents, etc sayin he'll get there its only his speech its coz hes a boy etc but its not hes 3 and a half pnly jus potty train doesnt answer his own name or even now how old he is wen friends cum round and start askin himo do u like school or did u ave fun at t park he jus looks blankly at them hes doeesnt understand or wen people he doesnt see on a wkly bases cum round hes screams or sit on t stair or in his room till tthey go or if hes has constant suply of biscuits then he'll sit til they all run out, we dont take him out 4 meals as he'd jus go in 2 melt down which has resort 2 me and oh oin out alone and sittin lookin at all t other children enjoyin them selves and we end up leavin in tears or sayin t mayb next yr that'll b us but wot brakes my heart is hes never not once sed i love u,
hes movin 2 a special school hopefully wit in t next few wks with much smaller classes as his teacher says hes not copin and finds it very distressin and sittin in t toilets cryin, he was so happy and confident wen we went 4 a look round t new school, so fingers crossed he'll love it has neone got a lo at special school howd u find it etc?
neway ive gone on a bit sorry pretty pointtless post jus felt like i needed 2 get its all of my chest apart from oh not really got neone 2 talk 2 as they all jus say hes a lovely little boy give him a few more month he'll b totally different!
neway bye 4 no wud love 2 get 2 no about u all,
p.s am also nearly 7mnths preg does neoe else have an autistic child and another baby howd they find it and howd u get them prepaired 4 t new arrival xxxx


  • Hi, My son is alomost 3 and is currently being assessed for autistic spectrum disorder, his language is ok but he is very repetative, he also has sensory issues and motor planning and perception problems, his eye contact is not good, at the moment we are going through the process of seeing different people in the early years team and waiting to see the community paed for a full assessment. I know exactly where you are coming from with regards to other people staring and all I can say is, stuff them, they dont have him 24-7 like you do and they have no right to judge, try not to let them bother you, which is easier said than done I know, I have days where I could just cry. I use another site called asd friendly try joining there, it is amazing how many people have the same experiences and everybody is so supportive and friendly and completely understands what you are going through.

    Take care xx
  • Hi honey, not sure if I an be much help but before having my lo, I was a teaching assistant for child with SEN and have worked with a lot of autistic children (although every autistic child is different my experiences may be no help whatsoever).

    Have you tried using picture cards with him to show what is going to happen? e.g. wake up, have breakfast, get dressed, clean teeth, go to nursery etc to make sure he knows what to expect and see an end to things (eg. after nursery mummy wil come and take him home) as many autistic children struggle to see an 'end' to things. It might also make going for meals etc easier if he knows what to expect. Maybe try cards for him to explain how he is feeling, happy face/ sad face etc and can tell you whether he has enjoyed a particular activity. It might also help prepare him for the birth of your new baby as this will be a massive change for him.

    hope this helps honey and i'm sure you are doing an amazing job. try and ignore ignornant people who give you funny looks.
    jo x
  • Hey hun,

    that was just like reading about my own son, he will be 4 in April. i have 2 children who are older than him so i knew something was wrong from quite an early age.

    We have had to fight long and hard to get assesments started, my hv dismissed me saying he was a boy, and boys are lazy etc etc......sent him for hearing tests, speech therapy to shut me up ....and it wasn't until we finally got in to see the speech and language therapist that she concluded that he did indeed have other problems.

    He is in a mainsteam nursery, and whilst he enjoys it, he struggles with changes in the routine, refuses to play with any children, except for one girl who in his teachers words "looks after him, and makes sure he's ok", and if he's having a particuarly "bad day", then he becomes very irrational and vocal, and what little eye contact he does gives goes out of the window.

    My son is totally addicted Toy particular Woody.....he cannot leave the house without his woody doll, and it has to be in nursery with him or he freaks out. his nursery are being fantastic....have got their SENCO involved and are getting measures in place for him for September when he starts school (i am dreading it......i just dont see how he is going to manage image )

    I am usually really quite blunt if he has a "episode" and ppl stare or make comments.....i hate ppls ignorance.

    I had my youngest dd 9.5 months ago, and at first my son struggled quite badly.....he didn't talk to me for a week, refused to look at me whilst we were in hospital....but gradually he got used to her and he adores her now....i'm 10+4 due in August, so i'm hoping i'll be able to prepare him better this time knowing how he responds to things.

    Stay strong hunni, your son is a gift.....thats how i see mine....despite the bad times he really is my ray of sunshine, and i miss him terribly now he's at nursery. sending hugs xxx
  • Thanks u so much for ur replies
    Hayley i will ave a look on that website only one we've used so far has bin t NAS which is really gud.
    We found it such a long process wit so many different people involved so many appointments and as callum finds it hard to go to new places its quite stressful isnt it, found everyone very gud tho apart from t god awful women that called her self a community paed, (she saw my son for 5mins then sent him out t room called him wild out of control and not normal o and sed he had some very serious problems!! she had no skills with children wot so ever talked over wot he did try to say and raised her voice 2 him) cud of swung for her!
    Honeyboo preschool use those cards as he finds it hard to follow there routine but at home hes really is quite laid bk a goes with t flow routine wise its if people cum to t house whos hes not seen for a while or if we go somewhere busy or unfamliar like t supermarket he finds it distressin, but at home he genrally understands what were goin to do next jus by usin simple sentences such as put coat on go nanas so mayb we cud do wit some cards for say goin shoppin i will ask his teacher if theyhave sum for things like that as she has meantion about usin them at home but we've never really had too many problems at home its jus out and about everyone always say o there so good wen there out its wen they get home there a nightmare well callum is the other way round lol
    [email protected] i no exactly what you mean about missin them while there at pre-school its far too quite with out him in t house, it is really scary that september isnt far away am slightly relieved that hes now goin to b goin 2 a special school now as i no he wud never b able to cope with all t big changes and t independence that he wud of needed for september and wen his teacher told me there was goin to b 30 children to one teacher in a smaller class room then hes in now i jus no its wudnt b an option for him.
    We also got a lot of the boys are jus lazy and he'll get there etc we still do now from darling MIL even tho hes bin diagnosed!
    Also thank u for givin me hope that he will get use to t new baby as everyone so far has looked at us asif we'd gone mad wen we sed were havin another LO my auntie even sed will this one ave that thing hes got then? as if he has a disease! lovely way of puttin things family avent they! although my sister has jus had a LO and callum seems to b gettin on well adjustin to him mainly ignores him but he sed hi Connor 2 him today which is progress. Did u do nethin in particular to get him ready for ur new arrvial we've put r cot up and goin to do ne other big things to t house babywise sooner rather then later so theres not too much change at once all tips very welcome jus want to make his life as easy as i can its so hard to know wot he does understand and wot he doesnt!
    its other people ignorance that gets to me but i'm gonna hold my head high from now on who cares wot they fink i no hes not sum naughty little boy and am very proud of my little boy he mite have a scream that cud crack double glazin but hes the most amazin beautiful lovin little monkey ive ever known x x thank u all again sorry as u can probably tell english was not my strong point at school lol x x

    [Modified by: pinkie1986 on February 03, 2010 08:55 PM]

  • Another idea, after reading your reply, is to make a 'shopping list' for callum with pictures of what you need so he ca help you find them. He might feel a bit more relaxed knowing that he can help and once you've finished shopping perhaps he could pick a treat? some sweets or a comic?

    in regards to seeing people he hasn't seen for a while, it might be a good idea to take photos of people he comes into contact with and stick them on to card with their name underneath and maybe a fact about them for example Auntie Sarah likes cats (it might sound silly but if he can relate to something they like it might put him more at ease plus when your new baby arrives you are likely to have lots of visitors which might upset him if he isn't prepared for it. with the cards he can look through them at his own leisure and before someone visits you can remind him of who they are and what they look like).

    It might also be worthwhile asking nursery about social stories (these work with some children) and they might be able to write some with callum in regards to going out and the arrival of the new baby.

    I would also ask people who give you funny looks if they have a problem and put them in their place in regards to thinking he is naughty.

    It sounds like you are doing a great job and i hope some of these suggestions will be of use.
  • thank u again honeyboo thats a gr8 idea fink we will get t glue and glitter out 2moro and make a poster of everyone for his room then he will get use to seein there faces and we can point out whoses cumin and wen. Althought after sayin he doesnt like people cumin 2 t house yesturday we had loads of visitors and people hes not familar wit poppin in alday completly unplanned and callum bin callum decides too surprise us all and acted like t perfect child kisses and hugs 4 everyone and was dancin away cudnt believe it!! it was gr8 thats t thing with him he can b so different from one day to t next xx

    [Modified by: pinkie1986 on February 05, 2010 07:56 PM]

  • Hi hun, know exactly what you mean about them being different from day to day, somedays Isaac can seem quite happy and sociable but other days he completely blanks everyone and freaks out if someone he doesnt know tries to speak to him, apparantly that is quite common.
  • Hi Pinkie, Just read your posts.
    I myself work with autistic pupils from foundation to secondary where i am now.
    The problem with the pre-school that he has been at may well have been the noise. Pre-schools and schools are and can be very noisy places to be as are restaurants where as at home there is peace and stability. I have used the picture cards with now and nexted and they are a great tool to use also try not to much stimulation keep them simple and black and white. When talking to Callum get your family and friends to think about how they speak to him. This may sound awful but it usually helps by talking to them how you would talk to a dog. As an autistic child's processing skills aren't as fast as ours it needs to be simple if they are talking in sentences Callum will just pick up on the last word.
    Autistic children are wonderful yes it can be hard work but see if another family member can help you out as everyone needs a break from time to time.
    A fantastic book to read is
    Autistic Spectrum Disorders by Sarah Worth its not a big book but so helps in the understanding try taking a look and get others to do too.
    Which area of the country are you in? In Cheshire where i am we have really good support and supportive network. Cheshire Autistic Support and Development Team (CASAD) I'm sure will be happy to help with any advice even if you aren't from the area. Remember, your not alone and Callum is a wonderful child who some people do not appreciate but that is their loss. xx
    Hope this as been helpful to you
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