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any tips to help my oh with ds1?


At the end of July we saw a paed about my ds1 behaviour as he can be extremely difficult to handle and has a lot of social and emotional difficulties.
He is 3 and 1/2 and bright for his age.
Anyway the paed assessed him and the diff people have come to the conclusion he is probably on the Autistic spectrum and has started the process of involving lots of different agencies as she agrees he is going to need a lot of reassurance to prepare for school. I am a teacher so none of this really has phased me and I have learnt to adapt to his needs and behaviour.

the question is does anyone have any tips for how to help my oh deal with my sons challenging behaviour (very violent at times) my son roars/shouts/screams/kicks /bites/hits etc if something does not go exactlt how he thinks it should or if he is told to stop doing something when he needs to eat (now refusing food quite a lot) and he will not listen to my oh at all he shouts at my oh causing my oh to get wound up. he ends up giving up and having to leave the room to stop himself from showing his anger leaving me to deal with him.

has anyone else got experience where their lo only listens to one person and how you overcome this.

we have the CDT and portage plus coming to the house to help but wanted to get a headstart to help my oh who is so frustrated and upset espec when my son tells him he doesnt want him anymore.

thanks for reading
forgot to add that he also see s&l because he is behind with his speech. up to the age of 2 he didnt say a word. he has come on leaps and bounds and now is just unable to use certain sounds but his sentence structure was assessed as that of a 5year old at his last app.
I also have an 8month old who my ds1 loves to pieces but still tries to be violent towards during his tantrums infact he goes for anyone during his tantrums which is very difficult when in public and he is hitting complete strangers with cucumbers image He can get out of anything so buggies are useless and unlesss held he escapes trolleys when your not looking.

he also doesnt sleep very much - bad at 10:30pm sleep by 11:30pm up at 6am no naps during the day. tried earlier bed time but ended up with screaming at 3am with him running round the house throwing everything.

Sorry keep going on. i will stop now

[Modified by: alfie_and_oskars_mummy on 27 August 2010 16:20:49 ]


  • My son is 3years 4 months and he will not listen to or do anythng that dh asks him too, he is also being assessed for ASD, he also has sensory processing disorder and hypermobile joints and low muscle tone, it is extremely frustrating at times as I just have to do everything, Isaac wont let hubby bath him or put him to bed, he wont let anyone but me take him to the toilet, he saw a speech and language therapist even though his speech is fine and their suggestion was to put a picture on the bathroom door of who was bathing him that night and stick to it, I have to say that we havent really tried it too much as the few times we put hubby picture and told Isaac daddy was bathing him he just had total meltdown and then we spent hours trying to calm him down to get him to sleep. I dont really know what else to suggest as this is a huge learning curve for me, I have 3 older children who havent had any of the problems Isaac has.

    I use another site called asdfriendly which is full of people in the same situation, it is a really useful site and everyone on their has loads of advice, here is the link
  • Thanks, I have the same problem of having to do everything or having to cope with meltdown. My oh tries but as I am still bf my ds2 bed times can be very busy for me while oh ends up down stairs to make it quicker. I might try and use the picture idea though anything is worth a try. The thing is my oh looks after them on his own on Thursdays while I work (his day off to save childcare) and as long as everything sticks to a routine he listens but the moment I come home it is as if my oh doesnt exist again. Will have a look at the link as well. Thank you for your suggestions
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